为什么人们不对女性的勇敢抱有期待？
Why wasn't bravey expected of women?
当女孩去室外玩耍时，她父母说的最多的就是：
Most of what they said to her when she was outside began wiht
"当心点“、”注意！“、或者”不行“。
‘be careful','watch out ',or 'No'.
watch out you're going to get hurt .
小心点，你会受伤的，
or ,Don't go that it's dangerous .
或说，不要那样做，那样很危险
即,作为父母——对女儿的担心程度要比儿子大得多。
Which is cautioning their daughters much more than they caution their sons.
而事实上，在青春期之前女孩通常更强壮。
In fact,girls are often stronger until puberty.
然而我们成年表现出来的却是——好像女孩子更脆弱，更需要帮助。
And yet we adults act as if girls are more gragile、and more in need of help
这就是我们从小就授受的信息,这个信息也渗透进我们成长的过程中。
This is the message that we absorb as kids.and this is the message that fully permeates as we grow up .
我们女人相信这一点，男人也相信这一点，
We women believe it ,men believe it .and guess what ?
当我们成为父母时，我们又把它传给下一代。
As we become parents ,we pass it on to our children.
这也是为什么 女人通常胆小害怕的原因。
This is why women often are scared.
但是，我并不是反对恐惧感。
But I am not against fear.
我知道它是一种很重要的情绪，使我们保持安全。
Ｉknow it's an imprtant emotion and it's there to keep us safe.
但是，如果每当我们的女儿在外遇到困难时我们的每一反应就是教导和鼓励她去害怕的话，这就是个问题了。
But the problem is when fear is the primary reaction that we teach and encourage in girls whenever
they face something outside their comfort zone.
所以，我们是有过害怕。但我们会仔细审视它、去评估它的重要性。然后把它放在正确的位置
So ,yes ,fear was there,but I would take a good hard look at it .assess just how relevant it was.and then put
it where it belonged.
而它通常是排在我的愉快、期待和信心之后，
Which was more often than not behind my exhilaration ,my anticipation and my confidence.
.所以，我不是反对害怕，我是鼓励勇敢。
So I'm not against fear,I'm just pro-bravery.
那么我们如何变得勇敢呢？
So how do we become brave?
请相信——勇敢是可以学来的，
Bravery is learned.
它只是需要多加练习。
It just needs to be practiced.
我们先要做一个深呼吸。
So first ,we have to take a deep breath.and encourage our girls.
去鼓励我们的女孩子去玩滑板、去爬树。
to skateboard ,climbtrees.
研究表明危险游戏真的对小孩子很重要，
Studies show that risky play is really important for kids.
因为它教会你去评估危险，
Because it teaches hazard assessment ,
它教会你延迟享乐，
It teaches delayed gratification.
让你更有韧性，
It teaches resilience.
为你带来信心。
It teaches confidence.
要知道，害怕和愉快是很相似的感受——
Fear and exhilaration feel very similar
发抖的双手，加快的心跳,紧绷的神经。
The shaky hands ,the heightened rate,the nervous tension.
我敢说对于你们大多数来说，上一次你被吓到的时候，
I'm getting that for many of you ,The last time you thought you were scared out of your wits.
你一定会感受到愉快，
You may have been feeling mostly exhilaration.
所以，不断去练习，不管是在家里，或是办公室
So practice,
甚至就在此时此刻，鼓起勇气——跟那个你敬佩的人交谈
And even right here getting up the guts to talk to someone that you really admire.
当你的女儿骑自行车骑上一处陡坡时，
On her bike on the top of the steep hill.
如果她坚持认为她太害怕了，不敢骑下去，
THat she insists she's too scared to go down.
那么指导她去接近勇敢
Guide her to access her bravery.
最终，也许那个坡的确太陡，
Ultimately ,maybe that hill really is too steep.
但是，她会用勇气而不是害怕去克服它。
But she'll come to that conclusion through courage ,not fear.
因为，这与她面前的陡坡无关，
Because this is not about the steep hill in front of her.
这关乎她以后的人生。
This is about the life ahead of her.
而她获得了这些工具，去处理和接近，
And that she has the tools,to handle and assess,
所有那些我们不能保护她远离的危险，
All the dangers that we cannot protect her from,
所有那些我们不能指导她通过的挑战，
All the challenges that we won't be there to guide her through,
在未来可能面对的事情。
To face in their future.
资料摘自: 网易公开课【TED】卡洛琳 · 保罗的演讲。
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