Step One 词汇：
（1）innocence n.天真，单纯
innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself.
（2）I marvel that a mind on the outs with itself should have nonetheless made painstaking record of its every tremor.
on the outs with : 与某人不和
painstaking： adj. very careful and thorough 小心的；费尽心机的；精心的 （一般用于名词前）
tremor：n. a slight shaking movement in your body that you cannot control ,especially because you are ill,weak,or upset
（3）I recall with embarrassing clarity the flavor of those particular ashes.
clarity n. the quality of being clear and easy to see or hear 清晰，清楚
with embarrassing clarity 是插入语
（4）scarcely adv. almost not or almost none at all 几乎不，几乎没有
同义词：hardly
This failure could scarcely have been more predictable or less ambiguous (I simply did not have the grades)
could/can scarecely do sth
it was getting dark and she could scarcely see in front of her.
（5）unnerve v.使恐惧，使丧失信心
he was unnerved by the way Sylvia kept staring at him.
（6）I had somehow thought myself a kind of academic Raskolnikov, curiously exempt from the cause-effect relationships which hampered others.
exempt adj. 被免除（义务）的，被豁免的
curiously adv.strangely or unusually or oddly or peculiarly
hamper v. to make it difficult for someone to do sth 妨碍；阻碍；牵制
An attempt to rescue the men has been hampered by the bad weather.
（7）conviction n. a very strong belief or opinion 坚定的信仰
The Dotens have a deep conviction that marriage is for life.
（8）To such doubtful amulets had my self-respect been pinned, and I faced myself that day with the nonplussed apprehension of someone who has come across a vampire and has no crucifix at hand.
amulet n. a small piece of jewellery worn to protect against bad luck,disease 护身符
amulet 与 句尾的 crucifix 十字架 相呼应
nonplussed adj. so surprised by sth that you do not know what to say or do 惊讶不已的;不知所措的（不用于名词前）
apprehension n. 忧虑，担心 anxiety
（9）Although to be driven back upon oneself is an uneasy affair at best, rather like trying to
cross a border with borrowed credentials, it seems to me now the one condition necessary
to the beginnings of real self-respect.
drive back 击退
at best under the best of conditions
credential n. a document attesting to the truth of certain stated facts 资格，资历；国书
（10）Most of our platitudes notwithstanding, selfdeception remains the most difficult deception.
platitude n.老生常谈，陈词滥调（含贬义） a statement that has been made many times before
notwithstanding prep&adv in spite of sth 尽管
（11）The tricks that work on others count for nothing in that well-lit back alley where one keeps assignations with oneself
count for nothing 毫无价值
well-lit 采光好的，明亮的
back-alley 穷街陋巷
（12）One shuffles flashily but in vain through one’s marked cards.
shuffle v.洗牌
（13）dismal adj. a situation so bad that it makes you feel very unhappy and hopeless凄凉的，阴沉的
The future looks pretty dismal right now.
a dismal,grey afternoon.
（14）interminable adj. very long and boring
同义词：endless
interminable delays
（15）splice v. to join the ends of two pieces of rope, film 连接，接合
with fresh footage spliced in for every screening.
（16）sins of commission and omission 来自于圣经 指犯的罪和因疏忽导致的罪责
（17）the gifts irrevocably wasted through sloth or cowardice
irrevocably :adj. an action cannot be changed or stopped 不可更改的，不可撤回的（决定或行动）
sloth:n.laziness 懒惰；树懒
cowardice:n.lack of courage 胆小；怯懦
来源于： coward 胆小鬼
反义词：bravery
（18）seem to sleep easily enough is to miss the point entirely, as surely as those people miss it who think that self-respect has necessarily to do with not having safety pins in one’s underwear.
miss the point 不得要领
as surely as 正如...，就像...
has necessarily to do with 与...有必然的关系
safety pins in one’s underwear 内衣上的安全别针
（19）superstition n.迷信
（20）charm n.魔力
self-respect is a kind of charm against snack.
（21）ambivalent adj. （心情）矛盾的
ambivalent conversations
（21）With that genius for accommodation more often seen in women than men, Jordan took her own measure, made her own peace, avoided threats to that peace.
accommodation n. 住处，住宿；和解
（22）If they choose to commit adultery, they do not then go running, in an excess of bad conscience, to receive absolution from the wronged parties; nor do they complain unduly of the unfairness, the undeserved embarrassment, of being named co-respondent.
adultery n.通奸
in an excess of 过剩的
absolution n. 宽恕，赦罪
wronged adj. 被冤枉的
unduly adv. 过度地，过分的
co-respondent n.共同被告
（23）In brief, people with self-respect exhibit a certain toughness, a kind of moral nerve.
nerve n.勇气
（24）sometimes loses ground to other, more instantly negotiable virtues.
lose ground to 输给...
（25）instill v.逐渐灌输、培养[思想、行为方式]
instill confidence/fear/discipline into sb
（26）intangible adj. 难以描绘的[特质或感受]；无形的[商业中]
eg1. the island has an intangible quality of holiness.
eg2. intangible assets
（27）untenable adj.[局面]难以维持的;[论点]站不住脚的
the scandal put the President in an untenable position.
our self-image is untenable.
（28）We flatter ourselves by thinking this compulsion to please others an attractive trait: a gift for imaginative empathy, evidence of our willingness to give.
flatter yourself 自以为，自信
compulsion n.[难以克制的]强烈欲望，冲动
empathy n. 同情，同感
（29）At the mercy of those we cannot but hold in contempt, we play roles doomed to failure before they are begun, each defeat generating fresh despair at the urgency of divining and meeting the next demand made upon us.
at the mercy of 任凭某人/某物摆布[而无力保护自己]
hold in contempt 认为...不屑一顾
contempt n.轻蔑，轻视
doomed to failure 注定失败的
divine v. to discover or guess sth
（30）alien to 不相容
alienation n. 疏远，离间
alienation from self
（31）self-reproach n. 自责，内疚
（32）the final turn of screw
screw n.螺丝 v.拧螺丝
（33）out of question 毫无疑问
out of the question 绝无可能
（34）spring from sth 由...引起的
behavior which springs from prejudices 由偏见而产生的行为
character is the source from which self-respect springs.
step two 思维导图
step three 总结
这是一篇很难懂的文章。作者从自己的一次失败讲起，谈了自己过去和现在对自尊的不同认识。同时也说了真正的自尊能给我们带来什么，以及自尊是怎样形成的。
在这一篇文章的学习过程中我知道了两种做思维导图的方法：以主题为中心和以行文思路为中心。
同时由于作者善于用典，我也了解了不少新知识，知道了要了解西方文化，圣经必不可少。
其次，这篇文章属于哲学散文，其思辨过程及叙述方式值得学习。
最后，这篇文章对我的改变。简单说，自尊存在于任何愿意为自己的行为负责的人当中，要敢于面对自己的不足和失败，不活在外界对自己的评价中，活出最真实的自己，才是真正的自尊。
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