live with myself

how to live happily with myself
what is my life
my life is eighty years time , maybe shorter
thirty years have pasted
so , in limited 50 years , what is things that i really want
... i do not know by now
change my mind, what is important is how to enjoy the time

here is some big goals that make life full of meaning
no no no
that is not me
i have no goal that i really want

solve the problems that i have to solve , money and parents
money is the key to solve questions about my parents and some other things
others are second priority

what is the problems that i have to solve
money
money is so important, it almost could solve all questions of mine
so , how much
saving number can give me the rights that say no to have to work
be more prudent about marriage, reject to marry before i find the meaning of marriage and i really want to have marriage
here is biggest question by now, i have to make a solution about money

be materialistic
be strong
then find pursuit of spirit