很多同学都听过我的120分理论。也就是说，即使你的作文和作业达到满分了，如果还可以做到更好的，就一定要努力争取，因为说不定将来看的就是你这相比常人多出来的能力。
莫泊桑的《项链》，我不知道读过多少遍，由于教学的关系，英文版的要比中文版的读的次数多得多，中文版是在国内上学的时候读的。我们所有的父母都读过（或者说在学校里学过这篇举世闻名的短篇小说）但是真正潜心研究过的有多少？让我们的父母来写读后感（姑且是写中文的好了），你又能写多少？又能表达多少对于作者意图的理解？
这就是反复阅读的好处。
我跟着我的学生读，从他们的体会中一次一次地获得新的感悟！
本来我对于学生的要求不过是复述故事概要，然后讲一下个人体会。
你会有什么体会？无非是作者对于女主人公虚荣的批判。
一句话，结束了，实在不行，颠来倒去也不过是一段重复意思的废话！
所以，读书笔记怎么写？思路和细节至关重要！
首先是故事概要。这一点不难，但是要得到好分数不容易。描写故事概要是对于学生写作能力的考验：措辞，句型（我一再地老生常谈了），还有对于故事主线地把握和概括。
我们来看一下以下几位同学的开篇。
Mathilde was a vain and selfish woman who thought she could be wealthy because she was a charming lady.
The beginning of The Necklace starts when the author describes what the main character’s (Mathilde) life is like. The story says she was beautiful and charming but was born into a low caste.
The necklace is about a girl named Mathilde who was beautiful but greedy and always thought that she was supposed to be in a higher level.
The Necklace was a story of an insecure woman, Mathilde, who was distressed of her poverty and shabbiness, and desired to be sought after and envied by others.
我在此不做任何评价，因为都是我的宝贝学生，都是通过我的评判的。我不可能让每位学生写出来的文章都是千篇一律带有我的风格的。
但是如何在文章的开篇马上来个开门见山特别是在气势上力压群雄（芳）让人有非常想读下去的冲动的，这个需要再三斟酌。
在此后的故事叙述中，把握重点，提取关键部分，淬炼成一篇精致但是详尽的转述，同样需要语言功底。
比如下面一段的女主人公去朋友家借项链，要不要写，怎么写？有的同学就一笔带过：When she received an invitation to a ball, she borrowed a delicate diamond necklace from her friend.
有的同学是这样的：
Loisel, her husband had the idea of going to Mathilde’s friend and borrow some jewelry. Mathilde had never thought of this idea and at once set off to her friends house. Her friend, who’s name was Madame Forestier, welcomed Mathilde and gave her a large box full of precious jewels. Mathilde looked at every piece of jewelry but could never find one that suit her. At last, she found a beautiful diamond necklace in a black satin box. Her heart throbbed when she saw it. She knew at once that this diamond necklace was the only thing she wanted. She left her friend’s house feeling excited and quickly ran back home.
Her husband suggested she borrow jewelry from her best and rich friend, Madame Forestier. Mathilde went and kept asking for more and more until she spotted something she desired the most: a beautiful diamond necklace in a black satin box. With her friend’s permission, she went to the ball with it.
Distressed of no dress at hand or ornaments,tither husband gave her 400 francs and suggested to ask her friend, Madame Forestier, to lend her an ornament. When Mathilde searched for a jewelry from her friend’s collection, she was immoderately attracted by a superb diamond necklace. After obtaining the permission, she fled with her new treasure.
写文章大意的时候切忌啰啰嗦嗦，原因有二：
第一，作者已经写得很好了，你不需要去花大笔墨和人家比肩。
第二，内容概要写这么长，你的观点感受打算写多少？准备虎头蛇尾吗？除非你有长篇大论来平衡整篇文章的结构，一般来说，不太可能，很多学生做不到这一点。
然后讲关键部分的个人观点。
一开始那个憋啊，憋了半天都想不出来。我之前的学生还可以写些点东西，讲到点子上。这一批实在叫我捉急，那种一个星期写不出一句话的，三天两头把家长拉到边上提醒的。
我低年级学生的作文有一些是可以看出家长辅导的成分的，我不打击批评，我就等着看家长能辅导到几年级。曾经参与过孩子写作的家长都来写写看《项链》的读后感，我看看有几个可以到达我现在学生的水平的。
你们已经帮不上忙啦！
于是我没有办法，就做了个带有23个问题的精读辅导练习。一开始也是回答得漏洞百出，一遍一遍改，一个问题一个问题地细抠。
写个人观点的时候可以加上原文的引述，可以丰富写作内容，但是不能大段地抄袭，引经据典需要有个度。
Mathilde was greedy because all she wanted was money and luxury, “she loved nothing but that.”
Mathilde wanted to go to the ball just because “she would have liked so much to please, to be envied, to be charming, to be sought after.”
这样的鞭笞，很有力度，个人感觉比自己概括的还要好。
下面这一段我特别喜欢，
Mathilde was a narcissist who longed the idea of being rich, so she could buy ornaments to make herself more beautiful and craved. Mathilde was forlorn as if she had really “fallen from a higher station” - as to her “since with women there is neither caste nor rank, for beauty, grace and charm take the place of family and birth”. This proved that she was unrealistic.
还有关于作者的写作手法的评论，
The author also exaggerated Mathilde’s doing regular housework as a “lower caste” woman after “they had to send away their maid.”
除了批判女主人公的虚荣外，我还有学生指出她丈夫的辛劳和无辜，
I don’t think that Mathilde’s husband deserved this. He was the one paying Mathilde’s dress, which ... He was the one searching the necklace ... He was the one tired out everyday ...
以上的这些范文例句不是一次就写成的，有的学生花了整整一个月，反复修改，不停地抹眼泪，才终究完成了这样的佳作。
这位同学的写类似作文的能力并不强，正因为是薄弱环节，就一定着重攻击。如果中途放弃了，或者随随便便敷衍了，就达不到这样的效果了。
THE END
网友评论