The reality of dreams
It took a lot of contact with this female patient to sit down and talk seriously. Because she lives in fear all day long, she doesn't believe anyone - family, boyfriend, good friend, doctor, psychologist.
Her fear came from her dreams.
Because she is very safe, without any threat (the result of repeated personal observation, I don't believe other people's observation report, which endangers my personal safety, or my own observation is more reliable), so I had all the tapes of recording pen, paper and pencil that time.
Me: "did you dream yesterday?"
She: "I didn't sleep."
The look on her face was not fatigue, but the pallor and impending breakdown of alertness and lack of sleep for a long time - a bit of a sign of hysteria.
Me: "afraid of dreaming?" I'm a little sorry for coming today, so I decided to ask carefully.
She: "well."
Me: "and the day before yesterday? Did you sleep? "
She: "I'm sleeping."
Me: "did you sleep well?"
She: "no good."
Me: "dreaming?"
She: "well."
Me: "can you tell me what I dreamed of?"
She: "go on with that."
When I first saw her dream description, I admitted that I was a little surprised because she remembered most of her dreams from childhood. And according to her, they are all continuous dreams - that is to say, the life in her dreams is basically the same as the reality, which is consistent with the passage of time and causality. At first, her problem was that she often regarded the dream as reality. Later, she gradually accepted the "two worlds" - real life and dream life. Now the problem is serious, her dream is more and more terrible. The most important thing is: continuity. Think of a horror series that will never end.
Me: "you know I'm here to help you. Can you tell me what happened in the last month?" I mean in her dream.
She bit her lips and hesitated for a long time before nodding her head slowly.
Me: "OK, let's start."
She: "do you remember Mr. shadow? I found out he didn't come to help me. "
This sentence shocked me. Mr shadow is the only one in her nightmare except the patient. Dress and appearance are not clear, always appear in a vague image, and Mr. shadow often saves her. At first, I thought Mr. shadow was the emotional sustenance of the patient for a man who admired him in reality. Later, after several times of hypnosis by professionals, I found that no, Mr. shadow was a real dream character for her.
Me: "Mr. shadow Isn't that the one who saved you? "
She: "No."
Me: "what the hell happened."
She: "he's starting to pull me out of the building."
I was a little relieved: "to help you escape, right? Didn't it happen? "
She: "no, I found his purpose."
Me: "what purpose?"
She: "he wants me to die with him."
I restrained my reaction and used a trick to repeat her last word: "die together?"
She: "yes."
I'm not going to ask, wait.
She: "I told you that a year ago, he pulled me to jump from the building. Every time I just woke up. It's getting late in the last year. "
Me: "you mean..."
She took a deep breath as if she had plucked up her courage: "every time he pulled me to jump into the same building, I didn't find it at first, but later I found it. Because a room on one floor of the building has a huge chandelier. Because at the beginning, I woke up just after I jumped, and then every time I jumped down, I woke up several floors lower than the last time. "
Me: "you mean: until you notice that chandelier, you don't notice how many floors late you wake up every time, in the same building?"
She: "well."
Me: "is it often the 40 story building?"
She: "every time."
Me: "what floor is the room with chandeliers?"
She: "35."
Me: "can you see that window every time?"
She: "it's not a window, the jumping position is different every time, but there are many windows in the room of that building, so later every time I jump from a new position, I will pay attention to 35 floors, I can see the huge chandelier from different angles."
Me: "what floor will you wake up now?"
She: "almost half."
Me: "..."
She: "I can see the ground getting closer and closer to me. He is holding my hand and laughing in my ear."
I'm a bit fidgety. "Not every time I dream about jumping off a building?"
She: "No."
Me: "so does he still save you?"
She looked at me in fear: "he's a monster. He knows all the roads, all the doors, all the exits and entrances. As long as he holds my hand, he can't loosen it any more. He can only run after him. He can't shout or speak. He can only run after him
The top of that building, jump down with him. "
If I hadn't thoroughly investigated every man around her, if I hadn't hypnotized her several times, I would almost think that she was abused by men in her life. In that case, it's easy. To be honest, I really hope things are so simple, really.
Me: "you still can't see the shadow, sir?"
She: "in the moment of jumping, you can see it clearly."
I wonder if I know any expert who specializes in drawing prisoners' faces.
Me: "what does he look like?"
Again, she replied with fear, "that's not a human face It's not a human face Not... "
I know it's not good. She's going to get sick. "Do you drink water?"
She looked at me for a long time before she came back to her senses and said, "No."
Shortly after that conversation, she was hospitalized again. The hospital specially arranged her sleep observation, and the report was very strange: most of her sleep was dreamless sleep. When she had a real dream, it was no more than 2 minutes. When she had a dream, her body began to spasm, sweat on the surface, and her temperature rose, and then she would wake up. Every time.
The last time I talked to her, I asked about the man's appearance.
She suppressed her fear and told me: Mr. shadow's facial features are constantly changing shape, as if many people's faces, quickly alternating on the same face.
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