在Moodys我把这些Edits记在 公司个人Confluence主页上，layoff时全部拿不回来了，当时心疼得不行，就象自己的小BB突然走失再也找不回来。现在公司，Manager Martin特别Nice, 在每周1:1 meetings上给我做现场Editing。他会朗读出来，然后告诉我要修改哪里，原因是什么。通过现场交流，受益很多。
通过实例学习，从错误中学习是最生动&高效的学习方式。分享在此，持续定新，同时，也便于我自己定期回顾。
Before: The VDA has read permission to the package folder.
After: The VDA has read permission on the package folder.
Reason: Collocation: Grant Read permission to the User Group. Set the Traverse Folder permission on a folder does not automatically set the Execute File permission on all files within that folder.
Before: Previously, to enable profile Management to automatically reattach VHDX disks in sessions, you had to
After: Previously, to have Profile Management automatically reattach VHDX disks in sessions, you had to ...
Reason: I guess it's because using have can omit the "to" so that make the sentence more concise.
Before: With the Automatically reattach VHDX disks in sessions feature, Profile Management ensures the high stability of VHDX-based policies.
After: With the Automatically reattach VHDX disks in sessions feature, Profile Management ensures a high level of stability of VHDX-based policies.
Comment: 用a似乎更加的道，因为这个level 不是一个我知你也知的level. 如果不加high，则可以写成the stability.
Before: The Folders to mirror policy ensures integrity of transactional folders during profile synchronization.
After: The Folders to mirror policy ensures the integrity of transactional folders during profile synchronization.
Comment: 多加了the。读来得确是顺一些，多体会吧！
Before: However, in a transactional folder, files in it are associated, and the entire folder must be synchronized as a whole.
After: However, in a transactional folder, files are associated, and Profile Management synchronizes the entire folder.
Final: However, in a transactional folder, files are associated, and Profile Management must synchronizes the entire folder to avoid integrity issues.
Editing comment: Careful when using “must,” especially when followed by passive voices: it’s not clear whether must means you’re telling me to do something, or if you’re stating a dependency.
My comment: 这是一段overview原理描述，意图是想说明为什么要同步整个目录。所以，must不可少。但基于editor给出must后使用被动态，不易理解。所以我采纳editor的部分建议，用了主动态。同时为了保证内容通顺，加了点信息。另外，files in it中的in it是多余，已经写清了是in a transactional folder.
Before: Files that are modified in more than one session are overwritten by the last update. Profile changes might be lost.
After: Files that are modified in more than one session are overwritten by the latest update and profile changes might be lost.
Comments: 加and这个做法值得学习。因为原文中上下两句是有关联的，如果单独两个句子，关联性就弱化了很多。
Before: In the **List of folders to mirror** field, type the list of folders that you want to mirror in the format of relative paths to the user store. Use `Enter` to separate folders.
After: In the **List of folders to mirror** field, type the list of folders that you want to mirror in the format of relative paths to the user store. Type `Enter` to separate folders.
Comment: 用词的准确性！用Type后，更为明确。Use太泛！
Before: When the profile bloat issue occurs, enable deletion of stale cookies on user logoff.
After: If profile bloat issue occurs, enable deletion of stale cookies on user logoff.
Comments: The issue does not necessarily happen.
Before: as documented in the [Microsoft article](https://docs.microsoft.com/en-us/windows-server/administration/windows-commands/gpupdate).
After: as documented in this [Microsoft article](https://docs.microsoft.com/en-us/windows-server/administration/windows-commands/gpupdate).
Comments: 更明确
Before: cookies from the sessions are merged while index.dat is synchronized with the one from the last logoff session
After: cookies from the sessions are merged while the index.dat file is synchronized with the one from the last logged off session
Before: applicable only to versions earlier than Windows 10 version 1703
After: applicable only to Windows 10 version 1607 and earlier
Before: The following shows you the user interfaces associated with the Citrix ITSM services:
After: The following section shows you the user interfaces associated with the Citrix ITSM services:
Reason: Use a noun after a pronoun such as this, that, these, those. This rule also applies to "the following".
Before: If you have more Citrix Cloud accounts to manage, repeat steps 1–3 respectively.
After: If you have more Citrix Cloud accounts to manage, repeat steps 1–3 for each.
Reason: The adverb 'respectively' is often used incorrectly by non-native English speakers. Respectively means separately and in the order already mentioned. For example, The values of X, Y, and Z were 8.7, 9.8, and 5.6, respectively.
Before: If you have multiple Citrix Cloud accounts to manage, add your ServiceNow information to all of them.
After: If you have multiple Citrix Cloud accounts to manage, add your ServiceNow information to each.
Reason: All of them --> each of them --> each. The use of each makes the expression more concise and precise.
Before: Which alerts and notifications are shown in Alerts &Notifications menu varies depending on your administrator's settings.
After: Your administrator's settings determine which alerts and notifications are shown in Alerts &Notifications menu.
Reason: To be ESL friendly, don't start sentences with 5 W (What, which...)
Before: Your ServiceNow instance creates a ServiceNow incident for each event automatically.
After: Your ServiceNow instance automatically creates a ServiceNow incident for each event.
Reason: Put adv near and before the verbs or phrases it modifies. This rule will reduce misunderstanding when there're a verb and phrases in a single sentence.
Before: To change settings of the incidents created for events from Citrix ADM, follow these steps:
After: To change settings for the incidents created for Citrix ADM events, follow these steps:
Reason: 1. 将of 改为for, --需要再好好体会 ，of 是属性，for是针对。2. 后半部分for, and from, 如果read out，会觉得这个句子很生涩很绕，所以在这种情况下，可以把from后半部分，直接做定语放在event前。
Before: users are identified using usernames and domain names.
After: users are identified by usernames and domain names.
Reason: 虽然在技术写作中建议用using代替by, through等介词可让句子表达更明确，但在这里，太多use相关变化词，所以用by更自然。
Before: Werecommend you enable this setting in the laptop environment. A laptop can beremoved from the domain after the first logon. So, user profiles mustbe fully synced to the laptop on the first logon.
After: Werecommend you enable this setting in laptop environments. Laptops can beremoved from the domain after the first logon. As a result, user profiles mustbe fully synced to the laptop on the first logon.
Reason: `So` can't make a smooth transition between the two consecutive sentences but As a result or therefore can, although they have the similar meaning in Chinese: 因此。
Therefore: used to introduce the logical result of sth that has just been mentioned. As a result, consequently, for that reason.So, when used as the conj, it has the meaning of show the reason for sth, show the result of sth. But, I feel it's less strong.
Before: #cn# often contains white spaces, punctuations, or nationallanguage characters
After: #cn# often contains white spaces, punctuation marks, or nationallanguage characters
Reason: Punctuation is singular noun. It means the marks used n writing that divide sentences and phrases; the system of using these marks.
Before: We recommend you enable this setting in desktopOS environments where non-administrator users also need to administer the machine.
After:We recommend you enable this setting in desktopOS environments where non-administrator users also need to have the administrator permissions to the machine.
Reason: Martin给出的理由是Administer是管理众多的对象，对于一台machine这么一件小东西，不适合。Collocaton
Before: Starting profile deletion immediately wastes IOPS if the machine will be deleted.
After: Starting profile deletion immediately wastes IOPS for machines that will be deleted..
Reason: 改得挺妙的，细细体会就可感知。
Before: Write certain protected areas of the registry.
After: Write to certain protected areas of the registry.
Reason: Collocation: 记住便好。write可vi可vt。但在写入registry时，习惯上就用write to.
Before: The setting must contain only the path to the template profile and must not contain any file name.
After: The setting must contain only the path to the template profile and not contain any file name.
Reason: 无需重复.
Verify that the log file path is configured correctly and that there is no network connection problem. //Error message里对ESL友好些，不象文档要friendly，偏向口语化。
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