I think I never felt so tired in my entire life! I have been always so diligent when ourmum taught us how to move our wings properly and I was usually the first one tofly out of our nest after smelling the yummy food mum has brought us. And then,when days got too long and monotonous I was so looking forward for this! Andnow that we are back, my wings hurt so much! Wish my mum would be still here tomake me some surprise and with a loving look on her face showed up with somedelicious insect she found. But now its time for me to fight over my food myself,alone. Finally we got here! Although many other birds told me not to go here,since there are many strange concrete boxes over there and dangerous meanpredators equipped with flat shiny things, making noise all the day, I stilllike this place a lot. Its my home after all. And I like to watch my reflectionin the lake.
The autumn cameand I realized that after hours of endless flying there and back, deciding Iwould rather be hungry than make myself so tired, I realized that I can provokestupid lake fish by dropping some leaves in the water, making them think itssome food and watching their angry faces when they realize that the thing theyhave been fighting over is actually useless.
They dontunderstand anything. What do they know about the world? They never left thelake, probably never even left their part of the lake, maybe they think thereis nothing outside of it. How can they understand what I feel?
When I got tiredeven of torturing fishes and couldnt think of anything else to kill time with,even flying became seemingly troublesome. I just sat on my tree thinking thereis nothing else I can ever expect from this place, and so the days came by.
And then one day,when the big round shiny circle already rose up, and most of the annoying predatorswent away I have heard some laughter. Although the big shiny circle reflectedin the lake provided the place with a certain degree of sacred visibility, Icould only see shadows. There were two shadows and after a while I realizedthey belonged also two those annoying predators. But these ones were so muchcalmer then the ones i was usually watching, full of disgust over their blindlyhyperactive behaviour. They were just standing next to each other, starring atthe shiny circle as if it had something to tell them. When I watched the two ofthem standing there, in the middle of night, watching the dull shiny circle, Isuddenly felt so close to them.
Many birdsdecided to stay here during the winter, saying it wont be too cold this time,so I decided to avoid the torture from last time and stay also. Who thoughtthat one day when everyone woke up, the whole lake got covered by some whitepowder, the fish disappeared, and I was cold as if hundreds of roses werestabbing me into my flesh. I was already starting to ponder about birds heaven,when I saw them again. I could recognize them according to their voices. Butthis time they didnt seem so close to me at all, actually they couldnt befarther from me. How wrong did I judge them! They must be mad! I feel likedying, yet they are laughing! I suddenly started to feel so envious... there istwo of them, maybe they are not cold since they can heat each other....but if Idied, who would know?
I cant believe Icould make it to the spring! The bird god must have special feelings for me, orhe wouldnt make me survive! I should find a new enthusiasm and appreciation formy existence! After all I have some duties as a bird, and I should find a mate,create a nest and make my babies as happy as I used to be long long long timeago... But how should I do it? Should I change my wing style? Should I start totrain some cool hunting techniques to look more capable? But in my head Ilonged for something I already saw, and no matter how much other birds weretrying to give me some handy tips how to get some fluffy chick, I just wantedto find the ONE, who would just hang out on my tree with me, watching the bigshiny thing or share disgust over busy predators. I was deeply depressed,worrying that its impossible that I would find some bird like me, when I sawthem again, kissing and talking, and they felt so annoying to me, yet I wishedto be like them.
Summer came, andI finally got busy. It takes so much flying and searching to build a nest! Nomore sitting on my tree, no more fishy fun, no more thinking. I will be fathersoon, and no matter if my wish came true or not, I have the responsibility tobring up my kids as well as I can so that they can feel safe. I luckily had notime spare left for regrets or doubts. Yet when the summer came to the verypeak, and the nest was finally almost done, I saw something which made me stopno matter how busy I became. I heard a tiny little noise familiar, yet reallystrange since it came from only one single person. She was walking aroundthither and hither as if she got lost, yet she seemed to be the same as thefirst time, when standing calmly next to the other person, watching the shinycircle. However this time, I felt different than her. I have a home now.
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