Communication style and social style
This project is called "understand your communication style". There is a quick survey to help you define your communication style among four types. I recalled I attended a training called "build relationship versatility: social style at work" many years ago. I compare them together and realize commonalities.
Let me start with Social style. The X-Axis is whether you are ask directed or tell directed. The Y-Axis is whether you are people directed or task directed.
The four social styles are Driver, Analytical, Amiable, and Expressive.
The four communication style I got from this project are: direct, analytical, supportive and initiating.
The social style and communication style has perfect match by comparing the key characteristics.
How many of you have done such survey before?
Let me explain a little bit more about different style.
Direct style is decisive, competitive, independent, and confident. Direct people like to feel in control and may become frustrated if dependent on others. Direct people can be seen as impatient when bored.
Analytical style is precise, exact, analytical, and logical. Analytical people like facts and figures, rarely give an opinion unless asked. Analytical people are slow and cautious, private with personal information and do not easily express emotions.
Supportive style is calm, steady, approachable, sincere, and gentle, patient, cooperative, sympathetic, slow-paced etc. They put high priority on close relationships and do not like conflict. I always think praise someone publicly is always a good thing. Be caution! Supportive style person is often modest and prefers praise be given privately.
Initiating style is sociable, enthusiastic, energetic, spontaneous, and fun-loving. He likes to feel accepted and is motivated by relationships. He responds strongly to praise and approval. Initiating communicators value interacting with others and sharing stories.
Now, can you quickly identify which quadrant fit you most?
Who is driver-Direct?
In social style, I am driver, in communication style, I'm direct. The number I got in each of these four styles are 7, 3, 2, and 1. I like to feel in control and become frustrated if dependent on others. I'm impatient. That's me.
I found this is extremely helpful to help me understand the conflict around me.
1. Where do you think our communication style come from? yes, our parent. Using my best guest, I can recognize my family member's style. My mom is direct, I don't like her style actually, but I'm direct too. My mother-in-law is initiating, my husband is analytical. So you could either like your parent, no matter you like it or not, or go to the contrary direction.
2. Understand the conflict and be able to adjust when deal with different style people.
Now I can understand the conversation of my husband and his mom is always hard, as they have no overlap.
Both my mom and I are direct, if we have same opinion, our communication is so effective. If we have different opinion, neither of us can convince the other.
Now I understand why I post my mother-in-law's nice cooking pic is so impactful to her. Initiating person respond strongly to praise and approval.
Harmony in the family is very important. I believe know our style and be able to adjust a little bit can help a lot.
I used to have a lot of conflict with my husband. Now I understand why. He is analytical so he rarely gives an opinion and expresses his emotion. I'm a quick decision maker and often regret the decision I made. He doesn't agree with what I decide and I thought he is too introverted and doesn't intervene earlier. Now for most decision I ask his opinion first. I show my respect and he can do his analysis.
Recognizing both of us are task oriented, we can compensate each other simple by me asking more.
Now I realize to be patient is not my most comfortable style. My son always request me to be more patient with him.
3 The most useful application is I find an approach to appeal current and new bosses no matter which style.
First, get to the point quickly and be specific, Focus on solutions and only provide details when asked. - Direct.
Then, Prepare detail with facts and figures in an organized manner. Be patient while they think through and process new information. - Analytical.
Update progress with plenty of reassurance. Listen to their concerns and allow them time to make decisions. - Supportive
Be ready to interact with them and share your personal stories - Initiating.
This methodology help recognize different communication style, know your own style that you feel most comfortable and adjust yourself when needed to match different style.
Quote：
Direct
This style is decisive, competitive, independent, and confident. Because the person with a Direct communication style is focused, results-oriented, ambitious, goal-oriented, and driven, others may perceive her as strong-willed or demanding. She can be seen as impatient when bored.
She likes to feel in control and may become frustrated if dependent on others. She measures progress by achievements and successes and is motivated by challenges. At work she displays more concern for results than relationships and does not easily share feelings. Her pace is fast and decisive, and she likes a busy, efficient, structured, and formal environment.
If you score highest in the direct communicator style you are results-oriented, focused, and competitive.
Motivated to get things accomplished, you are quick and decisive. Because you are independent and confident, you prefer a busy, efficient and structured environment.
Others may sometimes perceive you as impatient and demanding. Allowing others to share feelings and explain details can encourage dialogue.
Direct communicators prefer when you get to the point quickly and in a succinct manner. When dealing with these communicators, be specific and avoid over-explaining or repeating yourself. Focus on solutions and only provide details when asked.
Analytical
This style is precise, exact, analytical, and logical. Because the person with an Analytical communication style is systematic and task-oriented, he is sometimes perceived as a perfectionist. He is organized, self-reliant, purposeful, and diplomatic.
He is motivated by certainty and will rarely give an opinion unless asked. He is slow and cautious in his pace and likes a structured, ordered, and functional environment. Because he needs feel sure of his position and others’ expectations, he is often private with personal information and does not easily express emotions.
The analytical communicator is cautious, precise, and disciplined. You are a deliberate and methodical problem-solver. Conscientious and careful, you are often diplomatic in your interactions.
You may be perceived as a perfectionist. Socializing with others will allow them to realize you are also diplomatic.
Analytical communicators like facts and figures. Present information to them in an organized manner and be prepared to answer questions. Be patient while they think through and process new information.
Supportive
This style is calm, steady, approachable, sincere, and gentle. Because the person with a Supportive communication style dislikes change, she may appear indecisive. More often she is perceived as careful, patient, and amiable. Due to her active listening skills, others see her as cooperative, dependable, and loyal.
She is often modest and prefers praise be given privately. Patient and slow-paced, she likes a personal, relaxed, no-tension environment.
She puts high priority on close relationships and does not like conflict, but may mediate if necessary.
As a supportive communicator, you are seen as patient, cooperative, and sympathetic. You are an active listener and anticipate the needs of others. Calm and steady, you desire a personal and relaxed environment.
Because of your dislike of change, you may appear indecisive at times. Do not hesitate to ask for more detail or information if needed.
Supportive communicators appreciate a calm, steady approach. Earn their trust by providing them with plenty of reassurance. When seeking their opinions and ideas, encourage them to express their concerns and allow them time to make decisions.
Initiating
This style is sociable, enthusiastic, energetic, spontaneous, and fun-loving. Due to the gregarious nature of the person with an Initiating communication style, he may be perceived as someone who talks more than listens. He is often perceived as self-assured, innovative, and persuasive.
He likes to feel accepted and is motivated by relationships. He responds strongly to praise and approval. His pace is fast, and he may appear impulsive at times. He prefers a stimulating, personal, and friendly work environment.
The initiating communicator is sociable, enthusiastic, and persuasive. You communicate easily and fluently with others and have a spontaneous and fun-loving nature.
Relationships are important and you respond strongly to praise and approval.
Due to your energetic and expressive nature, others may feel you talk more than listen. Remember to allow others to share their opinions and thoughts.
Initiating communicators value interacting with others and sharing stories. Allow time for socializing at the beginning of meetings and create a friendly, non-threatening environment. Provide time for them to express their feelings and opinions.
When might you want to adjust your communication style? Talk to other style person.
How can an understanding of your communication style improve your interactions with others? Know my disadvantage as sometimes I will be perceived as impatient and demanding, understand and apply to way to compensate by allowing others to share feelings and explain details can encourage dialogue.
How does your preferred communication style impact you as a listener? I'm not very active listener as I get impatient when bored.
How can you tailor your communication style to match situational expectations? Recognize other people's style.
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