fall out of love?

正文

Can we fall out of love?

我们能选择“坠出爱河”吗？

"People say heartbreak is normal, so we shouldn't try to fix it," said Sandra Langeslag, an associate professor of psychological sciences at the University of Missouri-St. Louis who has studied the effects of breakups on the brain.

桑德拉·朗斯拉格说：“人们说伤心总是难免的，所以我们没必要去试图修复它。”她是密苏里大学圣路易斯分校心理科学系副教授，研究分手对大脑的影响。

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But what if we actually had some control over the process? Can one deliberately fall out of love? Some of the science says yes.

但是，如果我们能对这个过程有一些掌控呢？一个人可以从容地放弃一段感情吗？一些科学研究表明可以。

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"You can work on it," said Helen E. Fisher, a biological anthropologist and senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute in New York.

纽约金赛研究所的生物人类学家和高级研究员海伦·费舍尔说：“你可以往这方面努努力。”

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Fisher said she discovered that the same area of the brain associated with hunger and thirst — what is known as the ventral tegmental area, or VTA — becomes activated when you're in love. This biological function makes falling out of love about as hard as trying not to feel thirsty. In other words, it's not easy.

费舍尔说，她发现坠入爱河会激活大脑中的腹侧被盖区（VTA），这和感受饥饿还有口渴的是同一区域。这种生理机能让放弃一段感情几乎就像努力不感到口渴一样困难。换句话说，这并不容易。

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Langeslag ran two studies to see if people could try to make themselves feel less in love. The strategies that worked? First, it helps to think negative thoughts about the person you are trying to fall out of love with. The downside? "Thinking negatively makes you feel less in love but doesn't make you feel any better," Langeslag said. "Worse, actually."

朗斯拉格进行了两项研究，看看人们是否可以尝试让自己少爱一点。哪些策略有效呢？首先，往坏处想这个你不想再爱的人是有用的。（这种方法的）缺点是什么？朗斯拉格说：“消极思考会让你感觉没那么爱 TA 了，但并不会让你感觉更好。事实上，你会感到更糟糕。”

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What then? Distraction. Think of things that make you happy other than the person you are trying to fall out of love with. This made people happier but no less in love.

那然后呢？转移注意力。想想那些让你快乐的事情，而不是那个让你伤心的人。这会让人更加快乐，但却无法减少心中的爱意。

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The solution? The "one-two punch", as Langeslag described it, or: negative thoughts about the person followed by a dose of distraction.

所以，解决方案是什么？照朗斯拉格的说法就是来一记“组合拳”，换言之：先往坏处想那个人，接着再做些转移注意力的事情。

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主编：Luni、李李亚

品控：Pita、蘑菇

审核：Jack

重点词汇

fall out of love

不爱了，坠出爱河

相关词汇：fall in love（掉进爱里，坠入爱河）

heartbreak

/ˈhɑːrt.breɪk/

n. 心碎

例句：None of us is immune to heartbreak.

派生词：heartbreaking（adj. 令人心碎的）

搭配短语：a heartbreaking story

派生词：heartbreaker（n. 感情杀手，万人迷）

fix

/fɪks/

v. 修理，修复；整理（头发、妆容、衣服等）；安装，固定

搭配短语：to fix the bookcase to the wall

例句：Give me a couple of minutes to fix my hair.

associate

/əˈsoʊ.ʃi.ət/

adj. 副的，准的

词性拓展：associate（v. 把……联系在一起）

例句：Most people would associate big brands with good quality.

搭配短语：an associate membership

搭配短语：an associate professor

breakup

/ˈbreɪk.ʌp/

n. 分手

相关词汇：break up（phr v. 感情破裂，离婚，分手）

例句：She just broke up with her boyfriend.

deliberately

/dɪˈlɪb.ɚ.ət.li/

adv. 沉稳地，从容不迫地；故意地

相关词汇：deliberate（adj. 故意的，蓄意的；沉稳的，从容不迫的）

英文释义：done on purpose

搭配短语：a deliberate lie

搭配短语：a deliberate attack

英文释义：done carefully without hurrying

例句：He was deliberate in his speech and action.

work on

修理，改善；试图说服（某人）

搭配短语：work on sb.（试图说服、影响某人）

英文释义： try to persuade or influence someone

例句：It's not gonna work on me.

搭配短语：work on sth.（修理，改善）

英文释义：to spend time repairing or improving something

anthropologist

/ˌæn.θrəˈpɑː.lə.dʒɪst/

n. 人类学家

相关词汇：anthropology（n. 人类学）

词根词缀：anthropo-（人类）

词根词缀：-logy（学科）

activate

/ˈæk.tə.veɪt/

v. 激活，启动

相关词汇：active, activity

英文释义：to make something active

work

/wɝːk/

v. 有效，奏效；（物）起作用；（人）工作

例句：The machine doesn't work.

例句：Does it work for you?

英文释义：to be effective or successful

downside

/ˈdaʊn.saɪd/

n. 缺点，不足之处

英文释义：something's drawback or disadvantage

distraction

/dɪˈstræk.ʃən/

n. 转移注意力

相关词汇：distract（v. 分心，转移注意力）

词根词缀：dis-（分开，分离）

词根词缀：-tract（drag，拖，拽）

例句：Playing video games distracts me from my work.

one-two punch

组合拳

相关词汇：punch（v. 拳击，击打）

英文释义：An especially forceful or effective combination of two things.

文化补充：one-two punch 最初用来形容在拳击比赛中，快速连续进行两次打击的组合。

dose

/doʊs/

n. 一份，一些；一剂

例句：Take one dose three times a day.

例句：She was born with a dose of self-confidence.

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