整理抽屉,看到一叠孩子们送给我的生日卡和母亲节卡。我的呼吸急促起来,不由自主地去寻找那一张很久都没有再看过的卡片。就是它了,绝对不会找错,那张用绿色厚卡纸(他最喜欢的颜色)折叠起来,贴了几幅画报上剪下来的图片。封面上是北极熊妈妈和两只小熊的亲昵画面,下面用铅笔歪歪斜斜地写着“Thank You!!! And Have A Happy Mother’s Day!” 绿卡里面,衬了一张略微小一点的白纸,用一段不知道哪里来的白色绒线把两张纸片固定在一起,打了一个蝴蝶结。以前看这张制作粗糙的卡片,压根没注意到这样的细节,现在想起来,他一个小男孩在做这张卡片的时候,还费了不少心思呢!
我慢慢地打开来,虽然心里很急切,但是还是慢慢地仔细地去体会所有的细节,那些多年前不懂得体会的东西。当年他多大呀?五年级还是六年级?记不起来了。里面的那首诗,也从记忆中零零碎碎地剥落下来,但是那一刻的触目惊心,始终是抹不走了,和内疚和亏欠揉在一起,死死地粘在心头,扯一下,都生生的痛。
我终于翻开内页,再一次去读那首读了许多遍,还是没有读得很通的诗,还有一个孩子藏在诗后面的心情:
Happy Mother’s Day
This is a poem to you,
But I don’t know where to start.
It is all the things you do,
That let me write from my heart.
How did you do all you did?
Without breaking a sweat.
Far down our relationship slid,
For we have just really met.
This day comes once a year,
Of course we’ve had past quarrels.
It feels like we came many miles,
‘Cause you taught me the right morals.
I know I have writer’s block,
And this poem is pretty bad.
To you this may come as a shock,
But you’ve always made me mad.
From: Lawrence
With Love
眼睛又一次潮湿了。我轻轻抚摸着扉页上贴的,手捧蓝色鸽子的天使的剪报,这是他曾经期待的吗?如果他早早地告诉我,妈妈,我多想你是一个和蔼可亲的天使,我会做得好一些吗?
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