前言

前 言

我祝愿孩子和父母，在他们自己和世界的不完美中学会发现爱。

——弗雷德·罗杰斯

   My own wish for children and parents alike is that they learn to find love even amidst the world’s and their own imperfections...

-FRED ROGERS

我们做父母的人当然知道我们所说的“不完美”是什么意思，它既包括我们自己的也包括我们孩子的！养育孩子是件不容易的事儿。人们告诉我，他们从弗雷德那里所学到的，为他们做父母提供了很多有益的帮助时，我总是很受感动。但我认为他们过高的估计了弗雷德幼儿教育的天赋。其实，像其他父母一样，我和他都经历了“边做父母边学习”的过程。

 Those of us who are parents certainly know about "imperfections"-our own and our children' s! Parenting is a struggle. I was always touched when people would tell me how much they've learned from Fred that's helped them in their parenting, but I have a hunchthat they thought he had some magical gift with children. He and I had to work at being good parents... Just like everyone else.

回忆我们早期养育的经历，我记得我们已不是年轻的妈妈和爸爸了，当我们第一个儿子出生时，我们都31岁了。当时我们已经结婚7年了，为终于建立了一个完整的家庭而感到非常高兴。我还记得，那时弗雷德和我对于如何照顾好这个小宝宝都是颇感焦虑的，同时我们也为这个挑战做了充足的准备。21个月后，我们的第二个儿子又出生了，那是一段对于弗雷德、我和两对祖父母来说既忙碌又快乐的时光。非常幸运的是，我们的两个儿子都很健康，所以我们也很顺利的进入了父母的角色。费雷德非常懂得如何呵护我们的家庭生活，他也曾在几年前写过一些做父母的感受：

As I think about our own early experience in parenting, what I remember is that we were a not-so-young mother and father, both thirty-one years old, when our first son was born. We had been married for seven years, and we were overjoyed to be a family at last. I can also remember how insecure Fred and I both felt over the prospect of taking care of this tiny person. At the same time, we felt ready for the challenges ahead. Our second son was born just twenty-one months later. Those were busy but happy times for Fred and me and for both sets of grandparents. It was a great blessing that both boys were essentially very healthy, so we were gently eased into parenthood .

Fred was understandably very protectiveof our family life, but he did share some of his feelings about our parenting in some writing that he did a number of years ago :

回首抚养两个儿子的这些年，我和妻子所做的一切，我感到很满意。我并不是说我们就是完美的父母，完全不是。与孩子相处的这些年，我和乔安娜都能想起许多我们有过的并不恰当的反应，我们多希望那时我们所作不是那样的，但那是不可能的。对此，我们已经学会不太过自责，让我感到欣慰的是我们一直尽了最大努力关爱孩子。我们的两个儿子个性截然不同：但两个孩子的内心都有着善良、友爱和勇于尝试的品质。

   Looking back over the years of parenting that my wife and I have done with our two boys. I feel good about who we are and what we’ve done. I don’t mean we were perfect parents. Not at all.Our years with our children were marked by plenty of inappropriate responses. Both Joanne and I can recall many times when we wish now we’d said or done something different. But we didn’t, and we’ve learned not to feel too guilty about that. What gives me my good feeling is that we always cared and always tried to do our best. Our two sons are very different One from the other : yet, at the core of each of them there seems to be a basic kindness, a caring, and a willingness to try.