Resilience is the strength and speed of our response to adversity--- and we can build it.
I have no choice but to wake up every day. No choice but to get through the shock, the grief, the survivor guilt.
You must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on. --- Samuel Beckett
After spending decades studying how people deal with setbacks, psychologist Martin Seligman found that three P's can stunt recovery: (1) personalization- the belief that we are at fault; (2) pervasiveness- the belief that an event will affect all areas of our life; and (3) permanence- the belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever.
"When you're faced with tragedy, you usually find that you're no longer surrounded by people- you're surrounded by platitudes. So what do we offer instead of 'everything happens for a reason'? asks writer Tim Lawrence. He suggests that "the most powerful thing you can do is acknowledge. To literally say the words, I acknowledge your pain. I'm here with you." Until we acknowledge it, the elephant is always there.
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