长得不好看，该如何过好这一生

长得不好看，该如何过好这一生

文/颜克

今天和一闺蜜聊天，她突然给我说：“一个好朋友跟她说：‘我觉得你变了，你变老了。你是不是天天忙的都顾不上收拾自己了！’我顿时无语了，是啊，我好像一年都没有进过理发店，之前还和你一起去做做护理，保养头发，去爬山、运动。你走之后，我好像真的每天很忙，但又不知道在忙什么！有时候想，反正我长的也不好看，就这么着吧！”

关于长相这个问题，要探讨起来仿佛真的很没意思。但这又是一直困扰我们每个女生的问题。扪心自问，没有哪个女生会觉得自己长的很好看，即使范冰冰或奥黛丽赫本，她们恐怕也都有自己不满意的地方吧，或许那个小秘密只有自己知道，但一定会有。更别说平凡的我们，“长的不好看”的我们。其实美丑自古到今没有什么评判标准，要不怎么会有环肥燕瘦之说，那么美丑，归根到底只是自己内心在作怪。不同审美标准下美丑定义自然不同，但在这个快捷的网络的社会，外貌协会的大众评审，我们会不自觉把自己和明星相比，把诸多不顺归结到自己长的不好。仿佛美女就可以活的潇洒自在，丑女就该躲起来。一个心理医生说过，在大街上没看到太多美女，但来找她咨询心理问题的多是美女，她们足够美的，还觉得自己长的不好看，一个女孩相貌可以打九十分，她还觉得因为自己的鼻子低所以诸事不顺，后来终于做了隆鼻，但她的困境依然没有改善。

如果你矮，你可以乐观可爱；如果你胖，你可以心宽自在；如果你眼睛小，你可以更犀利的看问题；如果你皮肤黑，你就可以索性在阳光下从来不打伞。不就是女神和女汉子吗，同样是女人，经营好自己，你一样可以活的很精彩。即使我们自认为丑，也是丑的独一无二，也是上帝给予我们最好的礼物，当上帝为你关上一扇门，他一定会为你打开一扇窗。记得一个我很欣赏的女生和我聊起这个问题，她说她感谢自己长的并不美，站在人群里不会被人看见。正是因为如此，她从小就更深刻的看问题，更好的学习，没有所谓美女的优待，没有自以为是的高傲，有的只是自己的努力，没有美丽的外表，就要有美的心灵。所以她现在活的很潇洒，到处旅行，写作，也有了自己的孩子和爱人，一切云淡风轻，岁月的痕迹只是给她生命更丰盛的装点。这样的美，会伴随她的一生。在我眼里她其实很美，优雅恬静的美，爱她的人，一定不单是爱她的美貌。

曾经我也很自卑，从小学开始就觉得女同学一个个都是大眼睛白皮肤的第一眼美女，觉得自己像个丑小鸭，小眼睛，头发稀少，黑瘦，个子也矮。好像到大学才开始成长一样，没有美丽的外表，我只能用修养来武装自己。工作之后常常听到的赞美词是这姑娘气质真好，我的理解是长的丑了才被别人夸气质好。我也感谢我长的并不美，所以一直在努力丰盈自己。中国人喜欢的大眼睛双眼皮在国外恰恰相反，要么名模吕燕怎么会在欧美国家那么红呢？和西方人拼皮肤，拼大眼，恐怕我们不会获胜吧，正是她典型的东方面孔，才让她站到了世界舞台。在菲国有朋友夸我漂亮，叫我中国公主，现在想来该是真心的赞美吧，可是我有多么羡慕菲人的大眼睛长睫毛啊！有一次一个哥们喝多了打电话给我说；“其实你长的并不好看，比你美的女孩我也见多了，可我就想这一辈子，和你好好做朋友。”这该是一句真心话吧，如果不是喝多了，没有谁会直接说一个女孩丑，那该是多么伤人的话，所以现在“美女”就是女生的代名词。

听过这样一个真实的爱情故事，长的帅气的男生身边一直不缺美女，最后他和一位长的并不好的女孩恋爱并且准备结婚。亲友都以为他是在玩弄女孩，他说不，他是认真的。女孩光脚只有一米四九，相貌平平，如果邋遢点只能打四分，好好收拾下可以给五分。很多朋友看到他们在一起都说女孩好幸运找了这么帅的男朋友，但男孩说其实幸运的是自己。他也曾爱过很多美貌的女生，但激情过后他不知道怎么继续下去，他不知道等她们容颜老去的时候他还爱她们什么，他说他不能欺骗自己，也不能伤害别人。直到遇见女孩，在确定男女关系之前他们是灵魂伴侣，他们在一起了，男孩漂泊的心从此安定下来，她有过人的聪慧，有稳重的内涵，有极高的修养，他们爱好相同，可以畅聊人生，有共同的爱好和不同的性格，以前男孩无论在哪里，人多或人少，好像没有灵魂一样，总是游离的状态，有了女孩之后，他的心就踏实了。他坚定的爱也得到了亲人的祝福，他说他不是不爱美女，但要为自己负责，灵魂的相伴才是一生的伴侣。

长的不好看的我们，就该更认真的对待自己，爱自己，充实自己，你才会散发由内而外的魅力，如果你自己都嫌弃自己，还会有谁来珍惜你呢？善良、乐观、勤奋、好学永远比美丽的外表更重要。我相信长的不好看的我们，会有更美好的一生。

2015.3.13夜 11：11

Not good-looking, how to live a good life

Today, a close friend chatted with me, she suddenly said to me: "a good friend told her: 'I think you have changed, you get old. Are you busy every day so that you can not attend to clean up your own?’ I was speechless, ah, I did not go into the barber shop for a year, before you go to do the care and maintenance, hair climbing, sports. After you go, I seem to be really busy every day, but I don't know what's busy! Sometimes, I'm not good-looking anyway, so it is!"

As for the problem of looks, it's like to be true that it's really interesting to explore.. But this is a problem that has been bothering us all the girls.. Ask yourself, there is no any girls would think she was good-looking, even Fan Bingbing or Audrey Hepburn. They are probably also have their own place which is not satisfied with, perhaps the little secret was known only by themselves, but there must be. Let alone ordinary us, " we are not good-looking" . In fact, beauty has no criteria since ancient times to now. Why else would a pleasing said, then the beauty and ugliness, in the final analysis, it is my is mischief. Different aesthetic standard definition of beauty and ugliness of different nature, but in the fast of the network society, appearance Association of public review, we will not consciously compare themselves with the movie stars, many dissatisfaction is not suitable due to their ugly appearance. As if beauty can live comfortable, ugly girls should hide. A psychiatrist said, in the street we didn't see too many beauties, but the ones who find their psychological problems are more beautiful women of vast majority, they are beautiful enough, and also feel that he does not look good, a girl looks, she could get 90 points, she also feel her nose is too slow, because of the low, her nose is so unlucky, then finally she did the hump nose, but her dilemma still did not improve.

If you are short, you can be hopeful and lovely; if you are fat, you can be heart wide and free; if your eyes are small, you can have more sharp look; if your skin is black, you can be simply in the sun and never hold up an umbrella. Is it not the goddess of woman? it is also a woman, run well for yourself, you can live like a wonderful person. Even when we think us ugly, it is ugly unique. God is giving us the best gift, when the God close a door for you, he will open a window for you. Remember that a girl I admired and I talked about this problem, she said she thanked her for being not beautiful, if she is standing in the crowd, she will not be seen. Because of this, she grew more profound problems, better learning, no so-called beauty treatment, not self righteous arrogance, some just their own efforts, no beautiful appearance, but she has the beauty of the soul. So she now live very natural and unrestrained, traveling, writing, but she also has her children and her spouse, all the clouds are pale and a light breeze is blowing, traces of the years just gave her life more abundant decoration. This beauty will accompany her life. In my eyes she is actually beautiful, elegant and quiet beauty, love her people, not only love her beauty.

Once I also very self abased, start from the primary school that female students each are big eyes and white skin, the first sight Belle, I felt I just look like an ugly duckling, small eyes, thinning hair, dark and thin, my stature is short. It seems that I am beginning to grow at the university, there is no beautiful appearance, I can only use self-cultivation to arm myself. After the work I often heard the compliment, that is this girl temperament is good, my understanding is it is the ugliness that the others boast my good temperament. I also thank I have not beautiful appearance, so I have been trying to bolster my body. Chinese people like the girls who have big eyes and double-fold eyelids, going abroad, it is on the contrary, or how supermodel Lv Yan to be so popular in Europe and the United States? And Westerners fight skin, fight big eyes, I'm afraid we won't win it, she is a typical oriental faces, just let her stand on the world stage. In the Philippines some friends boast me that I am beautiful, call me Chinese princess, now I thought it is their sincere praise, but how I admire the Philippine people who have big eyes long eyelashes ! There is a man who was drunk and called me, in fact, you do not look good, I have seen so many beautiful girl I who are more beautiful than you , but I think in my life, I want to make friends with you." This is a sincere, if he didn’t drink too much, who would not directly say that you are a ugly girl, how hurtful those words, so now, "beauty" is the girls synonymous with the meaning.

Listening to such a true love story, the handsome boy always has no lack of beauty, and finally he fell in love with a not good girl and ready to get married. All the friends thought he was playing with the girl, he said no, he is serious. Barefoot girl only four nine meters, ordinary-looking, if  she didn’t make up, we can give her four points, if she made up, you can give her five points. A lot of friends see them together , they should say that the girl is lucky to find so handsome boy friend, but the boy said actually lucky person is himself. He has loved a lot of beautiful girls, but after the passion he didn't know how to continue, he did not know when they face the old he also love what they look , he said he can not deceive himself, not to hurt others. Until I met this kind of girl, in determine the relationship between men and women before they are soul mates, they are together,  the boy who has a wandering heart settle down since then, she has superhuman wisdom, connotation of steady and high self-cultivation, they share the same hobbies, they can chat about life, love the common and different character, before the boy regardless of where, more or less, as if there is no soul in him, always free state, With the girl, his heart was steadfast.. His firm love has been blessed by the relatives, he said he is not love beauty, but to be responsible for themselves, the soul of the companion is a lifetime partner.

If you own all despise your own, there will be who cherish you? You do not look good, you should seriously treat yourself, love yourself, to enrich yourself, you will distribute the charm from the inside out? Kindness, optimism, diligence, and learning are always more important than the beauty of the appearance.. I believe that if we are not good-looking, we will have a better life.

2015.3.13 11:11