Gossip hurts people 20190402

One day, after work, when I got home, I was very excited talking to my husband:

Hey, honey, do you remember I have a colleague named Lucy?

---who? my husband still concentrated on his football game.

--- the black fat girl, you know last year you joined our team’s outing, we had lunch together, and I even don’t know why she has a handsome boyfriend…

My husband ‘s eyes blinked with confusion.

-----Today she showed me a yellow bag, she said she spent 10000 Yuan on that. Unbelievable! You know what? She looks even fatter when she was taking that bag.

" Enough!", my husband shouted loudly, stood up suddenly, “why are you talking about these gossip things everyday? But please do not waste my time!”

I was shocked, stood there silenced. Oh, yes, when I was a young girl, I always hate the woman who is talking gossip of others all the time, but how I become this kind of person now?

“Let me tell you a story “, my husband said slowly, “You will know why I am so disgusted about talking gossips”.

It is a story of his grandpa crossing several years. When he was around 16 or 17, he had a close friend called Wang. To earn their living, they collected money and opened up a grocery shop together in their village. The business lasted for 10 years until one day, Wang said to him “I’m going to Japan soon. I will study aboard there.”  So, grandpa had to run the shop by himself. One day, he received a mail from Wang, including a picture. The picture showed that Wang was wearing a Japanese solder's uniform, holding a Japanese saber.  At that time, grandpa was not aware what that means. Some days later, some of his good friends came to the shop and they chatted there.  Someone is asking “Do you know where is Wang now? I heard that he is in Japan now.” Grandpa said: “Yes. He is in Japan. He even becomes a solider!” His friend didn’t believe it at all. To prove he is right, he took out the picture and showed to his friends.

Several years passed. Grandpa even forgot this thing. But during the 1970s, when the Great Cultural Revolution was all sweeping across this land, many people were arrested because of the crime so-called counter-revolutionists. The small town was no exception. One day grandpa was accused that he once had some close connection with Japanese soldier during his teenager age. Immediately many Red Guards rushed into grandpa's house. Soon, they found the evidence – the picture.  One of the Red Guard shouted to him loudly, “Song, you must know your friend Wang is a Japanese soldier! Why are you keeping in touch with him! He is a traitor! what’s the relationship between you and this traitor in the picture?  And what you are doing for the Japanese government!  Tell us everything, you are also a traitor! “

They did not even listen for any reason. They ruined all the furnitures, daily supplies and took away many valuable properties. Grandpa was arrested and be imprison for more than 6 months. He was abused, beaten, tortured and struggled for many times. Several times he even wanted to commit suiside to get rid of the endless nightmare. Finally, he survived to the moment for his freedom as the police found nothing but that old picture.

When he was around 60, after retirement, grandpa started to make his biography and his hard times has been passed down to his generations. In this old notebook, I saw a phrase written by him:

Meditate and reflect our mistakes, Chat but not gossip others faults.

Gossip hurts people 20190402

At that moment, I finally understand why my husband was so upset to me when I am talking gossip to him because gossip has hurt his family so deeply. Being cautious has become his family’s standard of behavior and this phrase has been their family’s motto.

My dear toastmaster friends, I hope the story and this life motto would also give you some wisdom.

Meditate and reflect our mistakes, Chat but not gossip others faults.(静坐常思己过,闲谈莫论人非）

Thank you.