Have you ever faced that you need some changes of yourslf to fullfil the challenge outside, but you did not make commitment to the change right way, and as time flies, change become more and more difficult?
I am confused by lacking of critical thinking and expressing since I was child, but never start making commitment to the change. this way I sufferred from the problem since I noticed, and become a huge burden to me recent 2 years.
before these 2 years I have been working as a programmer for 10 years already， programmer is a job whichcrashesindividuals, there are lots of talents, but most of these persons are destroyed by this job. I am one of them, not hurt so badly, still have chance to recover.
There are 3 disadvantages of programmer, 1.Working overtime is normal, therefore health is not good.2.Quite few communication between people, your actions have no feedback, just like a ship floating on the sea without buoy, it is easy to get lost. 3. Programmer is well-paid, so they seldom considering change to another industry or improve thoroughly, gradually older person who is more than 30 is replaced by younger one. just like cooking frog in the warm water, this is a serious problem. 4.I admit all of the 3 disadvantages above are all excuses I made. They are only excuse to avoid making commitment to changes right away.
Why I choose programmer? cause I know critical thinking and expressing is my weakness. Programmer seems is a job which need not these 2 things, of course another reason is I thought coding is cool.
As a programmer, I thought can earn more money by mastering more technology, and it is true during the first several years. But gradually I found it is hard for me to enter top companies without critical thinking and expressing, and that way I do not have chance to master top technologies to get better salary.
Actually I already noticed this problem after working 4-5 years, but I still select ignoring it.
Instead of changing that soft ability, get a hard skill like English seems easier. And there are few programmer have good English skill. Then I turned to improve English skill, keep working in foreign company. And this make the salary improved in the following several years. But as you all know finally the situation of foreign company become worse and worse in China. And my age gets bigger and bigger.
By now do you think I have other choices??
Actually there are many chances to improve critical thinking and expressing in the early stage of my lifetime. But I all gave up one by one.
During the school time. Teacher asked us "If you have any questions please raise up your hand",I was the one who never hand up initiativelycause I do not want my question to be recognized as foolish question.And I never apply to a class&school leader initiatively too.
I always wonder if it will be different I can take part in these activities more actively. But time passed can't callback.
Back to the childhood, I would like mum telling stories every night before sleep, It was a time without mp3, iphone, ipad... One day mum asked me if I can tell a story to her. I thought it is time to tell too cause I really heard a lot of times.
"A tortoise and a rabbit raced together, the rabbit had a sleep, finally tortoise won", There is 1 minute silence, "That's it??"
"Can u tell a story which is a bit longer?"
"All right I will try", "Three small pigs build 3 hourses, 1 with grass, 1 with wood, 1 with brick, finally only the brick one is not flowed by the big wolf". There are 2 minutes silence.
From that time I gave up telling stories to others.
Recent 2 years I sufferred a lot from lacking of critical thinking and expressing cause I am now a technical leader, not only coding for myself. have to make decisions and pass by information exactly. And these courses are missed since I was a child, so what a large gap i need to fill you could imagine. And the changing process is quite painful, at first I even want to recurit a manager to replace me, and i am still coding, but soon after experiment fo~~und it is not workable. This structure will make the team unstable. so I have to face the source of the problem.
That's the story of mine, I already start making commitment to my change in 35 years old, cause I already join toastermaster. Have you started?
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