写在前面
最近集中看英文协议，海外学校官网，脑子时不时蹦出些英文来。夜里忽然想到几句可以写的话，就写成了一封信，送给我老公，完成我一直以来的愿望。
英文是蹩脚的，心是真的。
Dear my beloved husband,
This is the first letter I write to you. However it is one of the things I want to do in many years. I wish you could read it happily and seriously.
I am tired and exhausted these days with continuous overtime working and endlessly thinking about the choices and self-doubt. Our baby Joy cried last night just because you didn't read the second bedtime story for her, and I wouldn't read the third one. We all know that it is not about the story, it is all about spending time with her and care about her. I am frustrated and sad for the situation that I must hang in there when I am not feeling well. I am afraid being identified as one who is not serious to work. I can't slow down when I am working, and one ridiculous idea is that I believe I must go to see the doctor instead of resting at home when I have a headache in case they think I am idling, I am afraid I must play with Joy even if I am sick just because I don't know how to say no and I believe she will insist staying with me even if I say no. Although trying my best to get home as early as possible every night, I see how baby is struggling and helpless. The desire for companionship never ceases for her. And so do I.
For the last few years, I've like always complained about your working late every day and place work as first priority compared with family and friends as priority compared with intimate relationship. I thought we valued different things and I tried so many times to verify about this but you always denied. Then when I am working in the office after hours, when I am anxious to finish work and go home, I think of you. Do you have the same feelings with me? Are you anxious when you work overtime? During the frustrated days I cannot start to write for the brochure until it is quite down. And it is after hours in most of the days. I feel guilty and ashamed for this. And then something you once said came to my mind, there's something needed to be done after hours. I thought I kind of understand how you feel a few day ago . And you asked me to write it down. I refused. Now I write it down. And I am not sure whether we have the same feeling or not.
It's hard for me to get direct response and explanation from you. However, we have made a big step forward in communication when we bought our own house and got it decorated. That is one of my happiest memories with you these years.
What I want from my husband is being cherished and loved, and the wish after that is growing old together with a lifetime intimate relationship. I want a shared vision for our life, present and the future. I want to learn about your vision and play an important role on the way and in that future map. But I did not get any idea about it since I never heard about it, and I don't know whether I am in it. Maybe this is why I feel so insecure in addition to the self-abased feeling. I told you the second wish is my biggest wish for you, I lied. Because I am afraid the best thing cannot last forever.
You always asked me to make choices by myself. You said it is up to me and you will support me. However that's not what I want. Now I understand I must take full responsibility for my own life. But that doesn't mean I understand what you are trying to say. I thought you didn't want to step into my life and take any responsibility for what I did.
The good news is that the more we communicate, the better we understand each other. I feel so happy that we talked more after we decided to buy our own house. And we love each other more than ever now, at least I believe so.
I believe and must admit that we are so happy in hundreds of millions of families in the world even if I typed the words above. Love each other over 12 years in a relationship; love from our family, baby so cute and close with us, parents so nice and patient; living in our own house, having some close friends who can come to dinner with us. I am so honored and lucky to have this experience with you, and with our family. I sincerely invite you, my beloved husband, my Bruce to live together for a lifetime and cherish all the love we have and create more in the future.
Your sincerely,
Wife, Jaycee
后记
原本我准备这封信发布后，发给我老公看。结果机缘巧合，写完第二天，信的内容就给我老公大致讲过了，也没什么惊喜了。根据交流结果和我的最新心情，内容也做了微调。不过，第一封信的纪念意义还是要有的。
话说全英文写一篇内容，真不容易。。
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