Your Best Year Ever

What we do see depends mainly on what we look for. We tend to experience what we expect.

Our beliefs play a massive part in how we approach life. We tend to experience what we expect. We’ve known this for a long time. “If men define situations as real, they are real in their consequences,”

Our minds organize chaos. We fill in blanks with well-learned forms, patterns, and assumptions.

Because our expectations shape what we believe is possible, they shape our perceptions and actions. That means they also shape the outcomes. And that means they shape our reality.

One of the biggest reasons we don’t succeed with our goals is we doubt we can. We believe they’re out of reach.

most of us have a long history of not getting what we want out of life. To shield ourselves from future disappointment, we develop a cynical, self-protective attitude toward life.

We all face obstacles. While limiting beliefs prevent us from overcoming them, liberating truths help us transcend obstacles and improve our circumstances.

To accomplish anything, we have to believe we’re up to （胜任） the challenge. That doesn’t mean it will be easy or that we even know how we’re going to accomplish it. Usually we don’t know. It just means we believe we’re capable; we have what it takes to prevail（战胜）. Why is that important? Because every goal has obstacles. When some people have trouble getting over those obstacles, they doubt they have what it takes.

When they struggle with an obstacle, they just look for new approaches to the problem. They know there’s a workaround or a solution if they just keep working at it. These are the abundance thinkers. Of these two habits of thinking, one leads to failure, fear, and discontent. The other leads to success, joy, and fulfillment. 

workaround 应变方法；变通方法 

Three Kinds of Limiting Beliefs It’s easy to spot limiting beliefs in our own thinking if we’re attentive. 

Start with assumptions we hold about the world. 

We also have limiting beliefs about others.

The third type of limiting belief is where it really hits home for most of us. I’m talking about beliefs about ourselves.

Black-and-white thinking. That’s when we assume we’ve failed if we don’t achieve perfection. Reality is usually a sliding scale, not a toggle switch. 

Personalizing. That’s when we blame ourselves for random negative occurrences. 

Catastrophizing. That’s when we assume the worst even with little evidence.

To that list we can add a fourth: Universalizing. That’s when we take a bad experience and assume it’s true across the board. Where do these beliefs come from?

Some of our limiting beliefs, as I’ve said, come from previous failures or setbacks. Repeated setbacks can train us to assume the worst. They can condition us to hoard what we have and avoid risks.

If we want to experience our best year ever, we have to begin by recognizing which of these two kinds of thinking dominates and intentionally move toward abundance. There’s no reason to let limiting beliefs hold us back.

Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion.

Everyone’s different and we all have our own portfolio of limiting beliefs.

The first is that we have no power to change our circumstances, and the second is that we lack the resources to do so. I want to look at both of these in turn.

this power comprises four properties that help us achieve our goals. The first is intention. We can imagine a better reality than the one we’re currently experiencing. And we can work with others and within our circumstances to achieve it. Second, forethought. By visualizing the future, we can govern our behavior in the present and give purpose and meaning to our actions. Third, action. We have the ability to act on our plans, to stay motivated, and to respond in the moment to remain on course. Finally, self-reflection. We not only act, we know we act. That means we can evaluate how we’re doing, make adjustments, and even revise our plans.

Things are going on course (在规定的过程中)

First, recognize the limiting belief.

Second, record the belief. It might be something like,

“I don’t have enough experience.” “I don’t have the right experience.” “I can’t write.” “I always quit.” “I’m not creative.”

Third, review the belief. Start by evaluating whether the belief is empowering. Try to look at it objectively. Is it enabling you to accomplish the outcomes you want, or is it preventing you from doing so?

Fourth, reject or reframe the belief. If a limiting belief is false, you can simply reject it.

Fifth, revise the belief. This is where it gets interesting.

I’m talking about reorienting your thinking around a new and liberating truth.

Sixth and finally, reorient yourself to the new belief.

Completing the past is an essential part of designing a better future.

We can reason forward and back. Backward thinking allows us to learn and grow, which facilitates greater progress in the future.

After-Action Review.

After an event, the goal is to understand what happened, why it happened, and how they can improve.

Stage 1: State What You Wanted to Happen

Stage 2: Acknowledge What Actually Happened

As you stated what you wanted to happen, you probably became aware of gaps.

There’s a distance between your desire and current reality. Some of your goals, perhaps many of them, remain unfulfilled. So ask yourself: What disappointments or regrets did I experience this past year?

Because these memories can be painful, it’s tempting to dismiss or ignore them. But as journalist Carina Chocano says, “The point of regret is not to try to change the past, but to shed light on the present.”

shed light on：make free from confusion or ambiguity

Another question to ask yourself: What did you feel you should have been acknowledged for but weren’t?

Stage 3: Learn from the Experience

To retain these lessons, you’ll want to distill your discoveries into short, pithy statements. That transforms your learning into wisdom to guide your path into the future.

distill ：提取精华

pithy：简练的

Distill the lessons from your experiences so you don’t lose them and so they can serve as tools moving forward.

Stage 4: Adjust Your Behavior If something in your beliefs and behaviors contributed to the gap between what you wanted to happen and what actually happened, something has to change.

Going Forward

Thinking backward like this can help us learn from the past and positively build our futures.

Before we look at the benefits, let’s examine one common but unhelpful use of regret: self-condemnation(谴责).

When we focus on ourselves instead of our performance, we make it harder to address improving next time around for the simple reason that improvement isn’t the focus.

Worse, self-directed regrets sit on the evidence table in the criminal court of our minds as an ever-expanding mound of exhibits, proving all our worst limiting beliefs about ourselves.

If, on the other hand, you believe you fail, you can begin evaluating what’s missing in your performance and seek corrective action. You’re not a failure, so the failure you do experience creates dissonance that requires your attention to resolve.

dissonance  [ˈdɪsənəns] 不和谐音，不一致

Regret is a form of information, and reflecting on our missteps is critical to avoiding those missteps in the future.

“Regret may not only tell us that something is wrong, but it can also move us to do something about it.”

three-stage process of action, outcome, and recall. In the first, we take steps toward a goal. In the second, we experience the result of our effort. If unsuccessful, we often trigger regret.

We can treat regret like a roadblock to our progress—or a road sign that points the way to a better future.

Whatever our past, if we can see it through the lens of gratitude we will discover that our present is full of

Do not think or do anything without having some aim in sight; the person who journeys aimlessly will have labored in vain.

Committing your goals to writing is not the end game. But it is foundational for success for at least five reasons.

Second, writing down goals helps you overcome resistance.

To formulate a SMARTER goal, you’ve got to identify exactly what you want to accomplish.

In other words, they have built-in criteria you can measure yourself against.

In fact, “We experience the strongest positive emotional response when we make progress on our most difficult goals,”

The third attribute of SMARTER goals is that they’re actionable. Goals are fundamentally about what you’re going to do. As a result, it’s essential to get clear on the primary action when formulating your goals. How?

The fifth attribute of SMARTER goals is that they’re time-keyed. This could be a deadline, frequency, or a time trigger.

Distant deadlines discourage action.

If we’re going to succeed, we need goals that align with the legitimate demands and needs of our lives.

You also need goals that align with your values. This should be obvious, but sometimes we feel outside

achievement goals are focused on one-time accomplishments.

Habit goals, on the other hand, involve regular, ongoing activity,

There’s no deadline because you’re not trying to accomplish just one thing. You’re trying to maintain a practice. Instead, there’s a start date, which triggers initiation.

That’s essential for knowing what activity we are trying to maintain and the desired frequency.

Installing a habit takes a period of time, and it might be longer than you think.

For a goal to matter, it has to stretch us. That means it has to stand somewhere outside our Comfort Zone.