Two things that literally changed my life:
password
My password at the company's corporate account has to be updated every month, so I use that chance to set a reminder to myself of things I want to achieve that month. Some examples would be:
- Save4trip@Thailand
- Eat2times@day
- Facetime2mom@sunday
If you write these 'statements' several times a day/week and if you play it right, it makes a HUGE difference. Try it!
Back-against-back discussions. (Not to be confused with back to back meetings)
Most of the time, in the heat of arguing, it's in our human nature to try to always win an argument, being completely rational or irrational. Same things happens to most of us on relationship discussions. In my case: My girlfriend is Chinese, I'm Ecuadorian, so the cultural differences do make an impact on our peace. Quite often.
I came up with the idea of sitting (or standing) leaning my back against my GF's back whenever a discussion heats up and we need to resolve a dispute over something.
By doing this back-against-back thing, you continue the discussion as if you were still arguing face to face. After a couple of minutes, this ALWAYS helps us to end the discussion and have a really happy outcome. We have learned so much about ourselves and each other by doing this.
What happens is that the arguing becomes significantly more objective. You no longer have another person in front of you that you're trying to rationalize, apologize, persuade or convince about something, instead, you're more vulnerable because you're talking to nobody in front of you. Your voice resonates and you can pretty much listen to your own voice and think, "Well, I do have a point!" or maybe, "Damn, I'm full of shit, this is wrong. I am wrong."
It used to take a couple of minutes to end the discussion for good. At the end, when you turn around, you get to face the person that you just agreed with. It's a moment where you go 'ah.. There she is...' Or 'there he is...' And realize how beautiful a peaceful moment feels.
It's a little thing that changed our relationship.
Edit, Jan 23 2015: Thanks to everybody who has messaged me about this! I'm so happy to know this has resonated in people's hearts. I'm very humbled by the reaction, and I hope to share the bigger story of these and other life experiences in my upcoming book. Stay tuned next month for more. :)
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