谦虚的衡量

1

毋庸置疑，谦虚是人的一种美德。

谦虚可以带来显而易见的益处。《了凡四训》里说谦德之效：“由此观之，举头三尺，决有神明；趋吉避凶，断然由我。须使我存心制行，毫不得罪于天地鬼神，而虚心屈己，使天地鬼神，时时怜我，方有受福之基。彼气盈者，必非远器，纵发亦无受用。稍有识见之士，必不忍自狭其量，而自拒其福也，况谦则受教有地，而取善无穷，尤修业者所必不可少者也。

古语云：「有志于功名者，必得功名；有志于富贵者，必得富贵。」人之有志，如树之有根，立定此志，须念念谦虚，尘尘方便，自然感动天地，而造福由我。”

对自我来说，谦虚可以让人心态平和，可以更好地面对生活的坎坷和磨难。

谦虚的人，往往偏见和成见的成分少些，不容易走极端，因而更容易受到其他人的欢迎和友善对待。

2

谦虚不是自卑。

自卑是自我卑贱，自己感觉什么都要比对方弱一些、矮一些，什么都比不上对方，没了底气和骨气，输了志气，从而也就没有可能与对手竞争和比学赶帮超，不能在追赶对手的竞争中实现自己和对手的成长。

谦虚则是开放的、包容的、把姿态放低到几乎无我的一种信念和人生态度。

自身带有如山的禀赋资质，却谦伏到众生人群之中，甘为人下，为的是可以学人一言之善、一技之长，通过不断充实、扩充自己，来实现自我成长。

谦则善能进，虚则心能容，可以德明，可以亲民，然后止于至善。

谦虚和其它美德一样存在一个如何衡量、如何评价问题，同样面临美德的评价困境。

如果现实中，一个人自诩为是周围最为谦虚的人，并经常把自己是最谦虚的人放在心里，挂在嘴上。现实中，周围众人一定不以为然，认为这样的自我评价往往言过其实。从自我评价和社会评价两个方面，自诩为是周围最谦虚的人，就会走向谦虚的反面：骄傲。

怎么衡量一个人是不是谦虚？一个人又怎么去不断培植自己的谦虚德性呢？

3

美德的衡量困境：人往往自我评价过高。

曾经看见过一个大学内部教师的社会调查。题目很简单，让每个人自我评价在学校内学术水平的大概位置。每个人给自己的学术水平按照100分自我打分，然后把全校教师打分进行平均。

正常分析，一个相对较多人组成群体的学术水平，应该是正态分布，两头小中间大。也就是大多数人是中间数为普通水平，优秀的和差劲的在两端。

实验结果，几乎每个人都认为自己的水平超过平均数以上。有的是水平本身确实在平均数以上，有的明显不及旁人的往往也会自己打分在平均数以上，人总会超出各种理由来为自己的现实表现开脱，给出一个超出现实的自我预估。

把分数加起来再平均，远超过应该有的群体平均水平。

这个实验的结论，就是人往往会对自我评价过高。

相应地，人也会对别人评价相对实际来说较低一些。

4

一般常识，知道自己的无知和人生的有限，往往是做到谦虚的一个前提，也是衡量人谦虚与否的一把尺子。

不知道自己的无知，遇事待人容易愚蠢、傲慢。

无知的人还包括那些年纪很小的人、十分愚蠢的人，他们对叔本华、所罗门等先知面对的有关生命的问题还不理解。借用那个东方寓言来说，他们被无知遮蔽了双眼，既看不到等待吞噬他们的巨龙，也看不到危及他们生存的老鼠，而只是心安理得地舔食那点儿蜂蜜。

庄子说，“吾生也有涯，而知也无涯”，人生有限，而认知和追求是永无止境的。人的现有认知和拥有的能力，都只不过是人类和自然发展史上的极其有限的片段。

（孔）子曰：“吾有知乎哉？无知也。有鄙夫问于我，空空如也。我叩其两端而竭焉。”

张载有一段解释：“有不知则又知，无不知则无知。是以鄙夫有问，仲尼竭两端而空空。易无思无为，受命乃有响。圣人一言尽天下之道，虽鄙夫有问，必竭两端而告之。然问者随才分各足，未必能两端之尽也。”

开启希腊哲学的苏格拉底，在大众眼里是最有智慧的人，他却说自己一无所知。正因为苏格拉底有无知之知，才不被自以为是的所谓现有智慧所遮蔽，孜孜以求真正的智慧。

一个人，认识到个体的有限，才能敞开胸怀，虚心学习前贤的前言往行，吸纳充实自己；认识到自己的无知，才能分清自己有限的知识和智慧只是自然无限知识和智慧库里的一粒微光，才不敢骄傲自负，才能做到骨子里的谦虚。

5

另一个常识是拥有成长型心态的人，往往比较谦虚，这可以作为自我衡量或者分析别人的另一把尺子。

心理学家德维克认为，拥有固定型心态往往固守成见、不易变通，对失败归结为自己不够聪明、能力不够，因此不愿意再进行尝试；拥有成长型心态的人，则看世界是可变化的、圆通的，失败是因为自己努力程度不够，技术能力不足可以通过学习努力弥补，失败是成功之母。

从德维克提到的两种心态来说，对个人信念和成见抱有可以变化的成长型心态，而不是固定型心态的人，更容易待人处事采取谦虚的态度。

德维克认为：“为什么把时间一次次地浪费在证明你自己多么伟大上面，而不是让自己变得更好？

为什么藏拙，把自己的缺点隐藏起来，而不是努力去克服它们？

为什么总是寻找一些能够唱和支撑你自尊的朋友或者伴侣，而不是寻找那些能够挑战你，让你成长的诤友或者伴侣？

为什么总是找出以前的尝试过的或者真实的例子来证明自己的能力，而不是新的经历去拓展你的能力？

拓展你自己的激情，始终坚持下去，即使有时在困难的境地，是成长型心态的典型特征。这种心态，让人们即使是处在最具挑战性的时间里，也能够让自己生机勃勃，茁壮成长。”

因为认识到自己的能力、知识和信念三观都是可以随着成长而变化的，不是固定不变的，所以待人处事就不会固执成见、不那么盲目自信，容易采取开放的心态，容易接受别人的观点，容易与别人沟通，这些都可以成为一个人谦虚的特质。

6

如何在做人处事中培植谦虚的德性？

衡量谦虚德性也可以有两个维度：自我衡量和社会衡量。

自我衡量是以自我为出发点，用心动和意识去觉察自我行为的表现。

如果以培植谦虚德性作为目标，需要以无知的空杯心态和渴求自我成长的状态，不断在日常用这两把尺子去自我衡量，慎于一念之微的自我反馈，自我反省。

然后，知不足而改，颜回不二过，警醒自己克服骄傲自大，逐步走向内心真正的谦虚，形成习惯。

社会衡量是以社会规范和同辈评价作为维度，是把自己融入到亲民行动中，从与别人互动的反馈中，检验自己的谦虚德性养成过程。

自我内心的衡量，与社会他人的衡量，相互印证，相互促进，共生共荣。

敬畏、感激、感恩和共情能力的培养，都可以为谦虚德性养成添加营养。

未经过实践检验的谦虚德性是靠不住的，没有经过现实诱惑的谦虚德性是不踏实的，真诚的谦虚，还需要在事上历练，在知行合一中养成。

真诚的谦虚，是人见过天地众生之后的通达圆融而自在的选择。

There are ways to figure out how aware you are of your own limitations—and to cultivate intellectual humility.

BY TYRONE SGAMBATI | JULY 13, 2022

Psychologists have recently linked intellectual humility to a host of benefits: showing more persistence in the face of failure, holding less polarized beliefs and attitudes, and being received as warm and friendly by others. But what does it take to be intellectually humble—and how do you know if you already are?

The old joke about humility—that “it’s my greatest quality”—speaks to the difficulty in knowing how humble you actually are. It’s a paradox: If you’re walking around thinking you’re humbler than most people, then chances are good that you’re not.

For precisely that reason, a trait like humility presents special problems in measurement for scientists and lay people alike. Even so, there are ways for you to try to understand how intellectually humble you are—and to cultivate this quality within yourself.

The trouble with measuring humility

Despite intellectual humility being the subject of intense scientific study in recent years, there remains debate among scientists on how best to measure it. That debate begins with a basic question: What is intellectual humility? Most scientists agree that being aware of your intellectual limitations and the fallibility of your beliefs is an important part of intellectual humility, but beyond that there isn’t a clear consensus. Some argue that intellectual humility ends there, while others suggest that things like how we view others’ ideas and how we express our beliefs are components of intellectual humility.

Most recently, a study published in the Journal of Personality Assessment reviewed the existing theories and measures of intellectual humility and proposed that there are two key dimensions: the self-directed vs. other-directed dimension and the internal vs. expressed dimension.

Both internal and expressed intellectual humility can concern either one’s own intellect and beliefs (self-directed) or those of others (other-directed), but internal intellectual humility is limited to an individual’s thoughts and opinions, whereas expressed intellectual humility captures how they act.

The differences between internal and external intellectual humility have important implications for how we detect humility in ourselves. While expressed intellectual humility, which consists of actions, can be detected by any observer, say a friend or a partner, your own internal humility is only accessible to one person: you!

Which means if you’re reading this article because you want to know if you are intellectually humble, you’re in a bit of a pickle. You could start by asking yourself one of the questions that researchers ask study participants: Do you “question your own opinions, positions, and viewpoints because they could be wrong?” But now you (and scientists who ask these questions) are faced with a problem: Are individuals really well-equipped to accurately assess their own intellectual humility?

The trouble is that humans are prone to many biases and blind spots that can make accurate self-assessment difficult. In fact, because we show a preference for positive emotions over negative ones, we are motivated to “self-enhance,” or view ourselves more favorably than we really are.

For example, decades of research on these kinds of biases demonstrate that individuals robustly and systematically rate themselves as higher than average on desirable traits like “intelligent” and “friendly” and lower than average on undesirable traits like “vain” and “dishonest.”

Unfortunately, there is no magic solution to this problem, and scientists themselves primarily use self-report questionnaires to assess intellectual humility. However, there is good news! Several measurement validation studies have shown that in spite of these biases, self-reports of intellectual humility are linked to patterns of behaviors and other attitudes that are consistent with the concept of intellectual humility. That doesn’t mean that individuals can perfectly assess their own intellectual humility, but it does suggest that self-reflection is informative.

Just be sure to remain mindful of the human tendency to self-enhance!

Discovering your own intellectual humility

Here are four different types of intellectual humility to look for in yourself—and some tips on how you might cultivate each one.

Remember the paper, discussed above, that proposed two dimensions of intellectual humility: internal vs. external and self-directed vs. other-directed? Together, the authors suggest that these dimensions create four types of intellectual humility. You can use them as a framework for assessing your capacity to be intellectually humble.

1. Internal and self-directed intellectual humility. This one requires you to inquire, honestly, about yourself. For example, when you have an opinion, are you open to changing it? Do you ever think about whether the reasons you have for a certain belief might be wrong? Do you calibrate the strength of your beliefs to the strength of your evidence? As answers begin to come to mind, make sure to take a moment and examine them for any biased thinking. Did they stand up to the scrutiny or was there some self-enhancement baked into your intuitions?

For readers who want to improve this kind of intellectual humility, making a habit of awareness is a great first step. Try checking in on your beliefs and opinions periodically, especially those that are important to you. Pay attention to the strength of the evidence supporting those beliefs, whether you ever question them, and how open you are to changing your mind. Just the very act of checking in constitutes intellectual humility, but doing it will also help you recognize where you might be falling short.

2. Internal and other-directed intellectual humility. This type of internal intellectual humility concerns thoughts and awareness regarding others. Once again, you’ll have to do some self-reflection, and one common place to start is asking yourself whether you recognize the intellectual merit in opinions and beliefs that are different from your own.

Before answering, it’s important to acknowledge the breadth of this question. It might be easy to recognize the merit in a friend’s opinion about a new movie, but very difficult to see merit in why someone voted for a political candidate you dislike. In fact, research has shown that when we perceive a discussion as a disagreement or when we perceive our discussion partner as immoral, we are less likely to be intellectually humble.

Often, we jump to conclusions about other people and their beliefs, even with incomplete information. We tend to judge books by their proverbial covers. This is exactly where an intellectually humble individual will withhold strong judgments, precisely because evidence is limited as long as you haven’t “read” the book. For instance, hearing that someone voted for your least favorite political candidate might elicit a negative knee-jerk reaction. However, you may not know how they arrived at their decision or the quality of evidence that led them there. If you find yourself in this situation, be curious! Understand the entirety of the picture—both your side and theirs—before making a judgment.

At the end of the day, it’s possible that you still disagree with their voting choice—and that’s OK. This type of intellectually humility is not about changing your opinion to accommodate others; it’s about fairly evaluating others and their beliefs.

3. Expressed and self-directed intellectual humility. Expressed and self-directed intellectual humility captures whether you behave in a way that is consistent with internal intellectual humility about your own beliefs and attitudes. Some common examples of this kind of intellectual humility are actively searching for both confirmatory and disconfirmatory evidence and being willing to outwardly admit when you are wrong.

Now, you can of course begin by asking yourself how much you do these things, but for the expressed form of intellectual humility, you can also look to those around you to help determine how humble you are. Doing both, asking yourself and others, will likely give you a more accurate picture of how intellectually humble your actions really are.

Most people have at one point or another realized that they were wrong about something—but then couldn’t bring themselves to admit it. Boiled down, this is a disconnect between internal and external intellectual humility. Even armed with the knowledge that you were wrong, you put up a fight to “save face.” Although that response might feel instinctual, the research suggests that it’s those who are perceived as intellectually humble and admit being wrong who are viewed more favorably by their peers. So, when you are wrong, just admit it!

4. Expressed and other-directed intellectual humility. This kind of intellectual humility arises perhaps most frequently in the midst of conflict, and involves expressions of intellectual humility toward others’ beliefs and attitudes. When you and your spouse (or maybe a close friend) disagree, how do you approach their perspective? Are you willing to hear it out in good faith, or do you insist they must have it all wrong?

Even the best of us can get sucked into the latter, but it’s a textbook example of intellectual arrogance. This type of intellectual humility can also arise in the context of feedback. It’s easy to discount critical feedback on the grounds that you “know better.” However, in doing so not only are you suggesting that your ideas are superior to your critic’s, but you may also be missing out on valuable insights that lie in your blind spots.

This is the perfect type of intellectual humility to check in with those closest to you about. Ask them if they feel heard in conflict, if you convey yourself in a way that suggests you think your opinions are superior to theirs, and how you receive feedback. If the answer surprises you, that’s just one more reason to work on being intellectually humble.

Knowing how intellectually humble you are isn’t an easy task, and being intellectually humble itself isn’t any easier! At the heart of these difficulties lie human characteristics and biases that we all share: We self-enhance, we’re prone to defensiveness in disagreements, we judge books by their covers, and the list goes on. Yet, the science tells us that fostering these four aspects of intellectual humility can help you learn new things, improve your relationships, and create a less divided world.

If you’d like to dig deeper and take a science-based quiz assessing your intellectual humility, please visit our new Greater Good intellectual humility quiz!

Intellectual Humility Quiz

Are you willing to concede if you don’t know something? Or do you get defensive when someone questions your beliefs?

Your answers might say a lot about how much “intellectual humility” you have. According to researchers, intellectual humility centers on recognizing the limitations of your own knowledge and beliefs, and it is linked to many benefits.

It can help you to learn new things and make you curious, instead of combative, when confronted with opposing views. There’s evidence that it can strengthen your relationships and help you build bridges with diverse groups of people–a skill we need more than ever. During a time of intense political polarization, intellectual humility may provide us with a constructive way forward.

This quiz, which is drawn from three scientifically validated scales, aims to measure your intellectual humility. Please answer the first 11 questions below honestly; there are no right or wrong answers. The last seven questions are about you, and will be used to explore how intellectual humility relates to factors like age and gender.

When you're done, you'll get your score, learn more about the benefits of intellectual humility, and find resources to help you recognize your own limitations and be more open to other points of view.

Quizzes like this one are not the last word on your abilities. Instead, take them as an invitation to reflect on your strengths and on areas where you might improve.

Take The Quiz

1. Before forming a strong opinion, I prefer to review evidence and different viewpoints.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

2. I have at times changed opinions that were important to me, when presented with new evidence.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

3. I can recognize the evidence supporting opinions that are different from my own.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

4. I acknowledge that my beliefs and attitudes may be incorrect.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

5. I'm careful to calibrate the strength of my opinions to the strength of the evidence I have.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

6. I am willing to admit it if I don’t know something.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

7. I welcome different ways of thinking about important topics.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

8. Even when I disagree with others, I can recognize that they have sound points.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

9. I have a hard time admitting when one of my beliefs is mistaken.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

10. I am willing to hear others out,听完 even if I disagree with them.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

11. I tend to feel threatened when others disagree with me on topics that are close to my heart.

Strongly Disagree

Disagree

Neither Agree Nor Disagree

Agree

Strongly Agree

12. What is your age?

Under 18

18 - 29

30 - 39

40 - 49

50 - 59

60 - 69

70 or Over

13. Please select your ethnic background (if you identify with more than one ethnicity, select the one you identify with the most, or select multiethnic).

African, African American

Asian, Asian American

European, European American (Caucasian)

Latino, Latino American, Chicano

Native American

Middle Eastern

Multiethnic

Specify

14. In terms of your gender identity, do you see yourself as:

Female/Woman

Male/Man

Gender non-binary

I prefer to self-identify

Specify

15. What describes your highest level of education?

Did not finish high school

High school diploma

Associate degree or certificate program

Bachelor's degree

Did some graduate study

Graduate or professional degree

16. Which best describes the neighborhood in which you live?

Rural

Suburban

Small City

Big City

17. Please provide your best estimate of your annual household income in USD (before taxes).

Less than $25,000

$25,000 - $49,999

$50,000 - $74,999

$75,000 - $99,999

$100,000 - $124,999

$125,000 - $149,999

$150,000 - $174,999

$175,000 - $199,999

Over $200,000

18. How would you describe your political views?

Very Liberal

Liberal

Moderate

Conservative

Very Conservative

Your intellectual humility score is 42 out of 55, suggesting that while you sometimes acknowledge your own limitations and value other people's beliefs, that can be challenging for you.

It's worth it for you to try to cultivate more intellectual humility, given the benefits psychologists have linked to it: showing more persistence in the face of failure, holding less polarized beliefs and attitudes, and being seen as warm and friendly by others. Fortunately, there are exercises that can help you to strengthen your intellectual humility.

Ask yourself questions: When you find yourself disagreeing with someone, ask yourself these questions: Why do I disagree? Do I have all the information about this? Am I making any assumptions? How did I come to hold this view and where did I get this information? And then flip it around and ask yourself those same questions about the other person's views: Where did their beliefs come from? What information might they have that I don't?

Try getting distance from yourself: A 2021 study found that "self-distancing"—looking at oneself like an outside observer—could significantly increase intellectual humility. In this study, participants were asked to keep a diary over the course of a month and write about each day's most significant event. One group wrote in the first person (e.g., "This happened to me"), and the other group wrote in the third person (e.g., "This happened to Bob"). The people who wrote in the third person—or who "self-distanced" from the incident—became much more intellectually humble when reflecting on interpersonal challenges.

Try to be patient:"The brain evolved the capacity to think in order to guide our behavior in adaptive ways," says psychologist Mark Leary. "If we assume that our understanding of almost anything . . . improves over time, then there's no reason to draw a firm conclusion until we need to act on it. Then, we go with the best information—from the most credible sources—that we have." That means simply being patient as you gather information and keeping an open mind until you need to act.

Seek out awe: Sometimes it can feel like we're at the center of our own universe. Experiencing awe can jolt us out of this self-focused mindset, stirring feelings of wonder and inspiration by reminding us that we're all just one piece of a greater puzzle. Research suggests that experiencing awe not only enhances happiness and physical health but also helps us to feel more humble. It is most likely to occur in places that have two key features: physical vastness and novelty. These could include natural settings, like a hiking trail lined with tall trees, or urban settings, like at the top of a skyscraper. No matter where you are, the key is to be in the right frame of mind. The Awe Walk practice is designed to help you get there—to turn an ordinary walk into a series of awe-inspiring moments, filled with delightful surprises.

Embrace mistakes and practice admitting that you made them: In the 2017 paper "Learning from Errors," psychologist Janet Metcalfe argues that students may benefit from making mistakes (and correcting them) rather than avoiding them at all costs. When you discover that you were wrong about something, suggests psychologist Rick Hanson, "Start by reminding yourself how it is in your own best interests to admit fault and move on. We might think that admitting fault is weak or that it lets the other person off the hook for [their] faults. But actually, it takes a strong person to admit fault, and it puts us in a stronger position with others." Research suggests that people will see the strength it took to admit you made a mistake—and they'll like you for it.