也不知为何，没事的时候总会想一些使自己焦急，愤恨的事情。
比如为什么我的牙齿正畸超过了预期时间很多然而也没有很大的起色，比如想工作上的事情担心进度，回顾自己做的事情为什么没有产生很大的价值，比如自己的身世，养父母对于我的亏待，想到他们的愚昧无知，以及处理事情的方法就让人生气，比如抱怨明明条件不好就不应该要孩子。
为什么不能多想些开心的事情呢，这很奇怪，生活中一定有好的事情发生。比如项目上一个同事真的很贴心合作愉快，比如今晚吃了顿大闸蟹又看了部很好看的日剧，比如身材可以渐渐看到变化了。
Always think about things in negative side, why? When I get any achievements, the joyousness will come and go quickly then I fall into another trap of chase. Then I will stay in its tiredness and anxiety. In order to feel the happy again , I have to work harder. And if I made a progress, I will not be too satisfying about how much I improved, but focus on next goal how much I can get again.
To some extent, it sounds like a good thing ,because I keep unsatisfying and keep improving, but I don't want the miserable part of it. Maybe I want to feel the passion, the anticipation, the excitement of going to change in it , but I don't want to be a negative person always thinking about the bad side.
What can I do to change it ? I know maybe this syndrome is common and happens in a kind of people.
I want to be a positive guy, a shiny and encouraging man. I want to make improvement but not put myself in an uncomfortable status.
I think it's okay to keep this kind of special sense in my mind and body, I need to learn to get along with it.Just use its useful part to make my life greater and retrain or even depress or get rid of the bad part.
I think of a bad thing, okay , then think why it is bad, and what I can do to make it improved. If it is something I can not change ,then say goodbye to it.
I still need to live and live better.
I am going to record every wonderful things happened in my life, every day I will do it.
Feel the sense when I am working and pursuing, and bless myself with every improvement I make.
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