人天生容易对身边的事物有过高的预期。这在佛教里叫做浊相。没有任何人生经历的人，在生活中很容易碰壁，因为对身边的人和事物认识不清，有过高的预期。但那些从小就生活坎坷，经历各种挫折的人，往往更能认识生活的真相更容易适应时生活。
王德峰老师说富人更容易着相，就是这个原因。
所以古代的先贤才会要求我们要。严于律已，宽于待人已所不欲，匆施于人。
从从小娇生惯养的小孩子出生社会会觉得身边所有的人都是坏人，因为他对身边的人都有过高的预期，没有达到预期纠结的人都是坏人。但家庭贫困或者从小要家里要求严格的孩子，可能在生活中遇到更多的困难和挫折，在这些过程当中能让他更好的认识身边的人和事，降低自己对社会的预期，对他人的预期，从而。认识到生活和人际关系的真相降低预期能更好地适应社会。
而那些娇生惯养的孩子，进入社会以后会发现，会觉得这个社会上全是坏人，无论他到什么地方别人都不好，除了任何情况都是别人不好，很多人到四五十岁依然是这样。这些人往往就是负面情绪的来源，他对生活无能为力。又充满了抱怨。
The cause of almost all relationship difficulties is rooted in conflicting or ambiguous expectations around roles and goals. Whether we are dealing with the question of who does what at work, how you communicate with your daughter when you tell her to clean her room, or who feeds the fish and takes out the garbage, we can be certain that unclear expectations will lead to misunderstanding, disappointment, and withdrawals of trust.
Many expectations are implicit. They haven’t been explicitly stated or announced, but people nevertheless bring them to a particular situation. In marriage, for example, a man and a woman have implicit expectations of each other in their marriage roles. Although these expectations have not been discussed, or sometimes even recognized by the person who has them, fulfilling them makes great deposits in the relationship and violating them makes withdrawals.
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