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A few days ago, I suddenly found that the Ghost Festival has arrived at my mother's reminding. At this time of every year, the neighbors will light the candles and burn paper money, for that the air is filled with the kind of smell, which is quite familiar but sometimes strange. The Ghost Festival of this year has become particularly desolate for it has been raining all the day.
I don't have many memories about death until last year, only my grandfather's. In my vague memory, I was still in the first grade of primary school. One day, my mother picked me up from school early. On the way, she explained to me that grandfather passed away. At that time, I did not understand what's the meaning of Passed Away.
When I got home, I found the elders crying around grandfather. Suddenly, I got to know what Passed Away means. The stern grandfather would take my hand to play with the wild cat running around the yard. The grandfather, who never stepped into the kitchen, will cook my favorite braised fish for me. All of sudden, I ran to the grandpa nearby and burst into tears. That was my first time to face the death.
The second time I was exposed to death was last October, and that experience led me to depression.
Duoduo, my lovely puppy, became more and more sleepy. She often fell asleep at seven or eight o 'clock. We are all rushing about for our own life, watching TV or just stuck in our mobile phones when we get home. Sometimes she would run up to my or mom's legs and scratched us with her paws. Mostly, we touched her head for a while and carried on with our own stuffs.
One day of last October, I heard a sound in my living room. I hurried out and found her falling off the sofa. My parents went traveling, so I took her with me and went to all the pet hospitals nearby. It was the National Day Holiday, hospital mostly closed, and I finally arrived Hongtai, which is the best animal hospital in Hangzhou. The doctor diagnosed that there were many serious problems with her and asked me why I had never brought her to the clinic before.
I held her and cried in silence. I think she must be lonely at home waiting us to come back. When she wants us to pay attention to her, we waste our time on unimportant things. She was so ill and there must be a great pain in her body, but she could not describe her discomfort. My mother and I were so careless that we never thought of taking her for a body check.
By the middle of October, she was gone. As soon as I got to work that day, I heard my mother calling with a cry. When I rushed home, I hear my mom squatting on the floor and crying. I never heard that cry before. I gently picked Duoduo up and buried my face in her shaggy hair, while she was still warm. Are you still waiting for me to come back and say goodbye?
Suddenly, I burst into tears.
Thank you for keeping company with me for so many years.
I'll remember you, until the end of my time.
Chinese Version
前几日，在妈妈的提醒下，我突然发现中元节又到了。往年的这个时候，附近邻居会点烛火烧纸钱，空气中弥漫开一股既熟悉又陌生的气味。可能因为下雨的关系，今年的中元节变得格外冷清。
在我的生命里，似乎没有太多关于死别的记忆。在去年以前，故去的亲人只有爷爷。在不算清晰的记忆里，还在念小学一年级的我，某天被妈妈提早从学校接回家。路上妈妈对我解释说爷爷不在了，当时的我并不理解“不在了”是什么意思，窃喜的是可以早退回家看动画片。
当我回到家发现一屋子的长辈哭得声嘶力竭，小小的我突然意识那句“不在了”是什么意思。那个有些严肃的爷爷，却也会拉着我的手去找院子里跑来跑去的小野猫；那个从不下厨房的爷爷，却会为了我去煮我最爱的红烧鱼。小小的我，扑倒爷爷跟前“哇”的一声哭了，那是我第一次近距离的接触到死亡。
第二次接触到死别，是去年的10月份，而那段经历让我患上了抑郁症。
多多上年纪了，本就不是很好动的她变得越来越嗜睡，常常七八点就入睡，第二天七八点还不愿意起床。我们都是为了自己的生活奔波着，每天匆匆出门，回家以后就管自己玩手机看电视。有时候她会跑到我或者妈妈的腿边，爪子在我们大腿上挠挠我们。而我们大多都是摸摸她的头，抱一会儿又忙自己的事去了。
去年十月的某一天，我在房间突然听到“咚”的一声，出去发现她从沙发上摔落，以一个很奇怪的姿势僵直着，不断的喘着粗气。家里就只有我一个人，紧忙带上她，跑遍了家附近所有的宠物医院。因为国庆假期医院大多休业，最后赶到了虹泰。医生诊断她身上有很多很重的毛病，问我为何从没带她来诊疗过。
我抱着她只能无声的哭。我想，她一个人在家等我们回来的时候，一定很寂寞吧。她渴望我们关注她的时候，我们却把时间浪费在了并不重要的事情上。她身体那么不好，一定很疼吧，可怜的“小哑巴”，却不能描述自己的不适。而自以为很爱她的我和妈妈，却粗心到从未想过带她去做个身体检查。
十月中旬到时候，她离开了。那天我刚到单位，就听到妈妈带着哭声的电话。飞奔回家，听到妈妈蹲在地上哭。那个哭声，我从未听到过。我轻轻地抱起她，把脸埋在她蓬松的毛发里，这时候她还是温热的。是还在等着我回来，做最后的告别么？
顿时泪如雨下。
谢谢你陪我走过那么久时光。
我会永远记得你，直到我走向这个世界谢幕。
作者资料
这是一档由@nanosesame和@nostalgic1212合作的专栏，主要由sesame作画，nostalgic1212来天马行空的“看图说话”。之所以取名叫「N&N的绘画文字城堡🏯」，主要是因为我们俩ID的首字母都是「N」，同时我们心里都有一个长不大的小女孩吧😊
@nanosesame 非常有才华的画手，来自香港。她的画无论从选题还是配色上来看，辨识度都非常高。坚持日更的她，个人主页上还有丰富的摄影作品📹
@nostalgic1212 业余影评人，来自杭州。天秤座的她有自己独到的审美，爱好广泛。个人主页大多分享影评、美食和游记🎬
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