Unit 4 How to Make a Good Impre

Unit 4 How to Make a Good Impression

1. Research shows we make up our minds about people through unspoken communication within seven seconds of meeting them. Consciously or unconsciously, we show our true feelings with our eyes, faces, bodies and attitudes, causing a chain of reactions, ranging from comfort to fear.

2. Think about some of your most unforgettable meetings: an introduction to your future spouse, a job interview, an encounter with a stranger. Focus on the first seven seconds. What did you feel and think? How did you "read" the other person? How do you think he read you?

3. You are the message. For 25 years I've worked with thousands who want to be successful. I've helped them make persuasive presentations, answer unfriendly questions, communicate more effectively. The secret has always been you are the message.

4. Others will want to be with you and help you if you use your good qualities. They include: physical appearance, energy, rate of speech, pitch and tone of voice, gestures, expression through the eyes, and the ability to hold the interest of others.

Others form an impression about you based on these.

5. Think of times when you know you made a good impression. What made you successful? You were committed to what you were talking about and so absorbed in the moment you lost all self-consciousness.

6. Be yourself. Many how-to books advise you to stride into a room and impress others with your qualities. They instruct you to greet them with "power handshakes" and tell you to fix your eyes on the other person. If you follow all this advice, you'll drive everyone crazy—including yourself.

7. The trick is to be consistently you, at your best. The most effective people never change from one situation to another. They're the same whether they're having a conversation, addressing their garden club or being interviewed for a job. They communicate with their whole being; the tones of their voices and their gestures match their words.

8. Public speakers, however, often send mixed messages. My favorite is the kind who say, "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm very happy to be here"—while looking at their shoes. They don't look happy. They look angry, frightened or depressed.

9. The audience always believe what they see over what they hear. They think, "He's telling me he's happy, but he's not. He's not being honest."

10. Use your eyes. Whether you're talking to one person or one hundred, always remember to look at them. Some people start to say something while looking right at you, but three words into the sentence, they break eye contact and look out the window.

11. As you enter a room, move your eyes comfortably; then look straight at those in the room and smile. Smiling is important. It shows you are relaxed. Some think entering a room full of people is like going into a lion's cage. I disagree. If I did agree, I certainly wouldn't look at my feet or at the ceiling. I'd keep my eyes on the lion!

12. Lighten up. Once in a staff meeting, one of the most powerful chairmen in the entertainment industry became very angry over tiny problems, scolded each worker and enjoyed making them fear him. When he got to me, he shouted, "And you, Ailes, what are you doing?"

13. I said, "Do you mean now, this evening or for the rest of my life?" There was a moment of silence. Then the chairman threw back his head and <36>roared</36> with laughter. Others laughed too. Humor broke the stress of a very uncomfortable scene.

14. If I had to give advice in two words, it would be "lighten up"! You can always see people who take themselves too seriously. Usually they are either brooding or talking a great deal about themselves.

15. Take a good hard look at yourself. Do you say "I" too often? Are you usually focused on your own problems? Do you complain frequently? If you answered yes to even one of these questions, you need to lighten up. To make others comfortable, you have to appear comfortable yourself. Don't make any huge changes; just be yourself.

You already have within you the power to make a good impression, because nobody can be you as well as you can.