原文:团结就是力量。这力量是铁,这力量是钢,比铁还硬,比钢还强。
分析原文:原文本身就有问题,既然这力量是铁,为何比铁还硬,这不相当于自相矛盾了?是铁就是铁,为何比铁还硬,既然比铁还硬,那你还是不是铁?
翻译分析:
初译
Unity is more powerful than iron and steel.
2. 再译
因为大家都知道铁没有钢硬,所以这句的目的是为了体现团结力量很大,举了铁和钢的例子,但是只要比钢强,必然比铁还硬,所以比铁的例子可以省略掉,是废话,译文改为Unity is more powerful than steel.
1)原文中如果有自相矛盾的,要修改正确,比如歌词里 是铁,比铁还硬,就要修正。
2) 原文中如果有冗余要删掉,既然比刚还强,必然比铁还硬,删掉铁。
3) 用谷歌查证是否有more powerful than steel这种表达法,以确保英文表达地道。

3. 三译

这里还有一句 Honor is a force more powerful than steel
套用就是 Unity is a force more powerful than steel.
4. 四译
有没有其他类似的说法?
Unity is mightier than steel.
The power of unity eclipses the strength of steel.
Interlinked minds and hearts can achieve feats that the toughest alloys can only dream of.
Unwavering camaraderie achieves feats that the mightiest metals can only dream of.
Camaraderie is a feeling of trust and friendship among a group of people who have usually known each other for a long time or gone through some kind of experience together. 友情
• ...the loyalty and camaraderie of the wartime Army.
...战时军中的忠心和友情。
Where the mightiest metals fail, the unbreakable spirit of unity always finds a way.
Collective strength towers over steel's resilience.
Solidarity's grip outdoes steel's rigidity.
When united, our power eclipses that of steel.
The strength of our unity is unmatched by steel.
In concord, we forge a bond stronger than steel.

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