Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML
今天，在跟我的男朋友做爱的时候突发奇想想要试试后入，结果这个家伙说：“基督不会喜欢我们这样子的”。瞬间没有了性趣。FML
Today, I learned there is such a thing as "too much sex". After a full week of having sex at least twice a day with my girlfriend, I had to go to the GP due to a painful erection and swelling. The constant sex had caused me to burst a blood vessel in my penis. FML
今天，我终于知道了什么叫做“过度性行为”。整整一个星期的，每天最少跟我女朋友做两次，结果现在老二一直处于一种很疼的勃起状态。我们这边的一声告诉我，因为过度的性行为使我的阴茎血管破裂了。真的是屌爆了，卧槽。FML
Today, my very quiet and sexually innocent boyfriend said, "I want to be inside you." I was so startled that all I could reply was, "Oh, thanks." FML
今天，我那文雅而且帅气无比的男朋友跟我讲，“我想进入你！”。这句话直接震惊到了我，潜意识里居然说，“好的，谢谢。”FML
Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML
今天，我跟自己的一个同事上了床。结果，一完事儿，他就打开灯，然后开始玩儿手机。为了避免尴尬，我就说“啊，刚才真的好舒服。”，结果他看着我说：“是吗？”，真实哔了狗了。FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and I. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
今天，在我跟我男朋友的床事进行的正激烈的时候，他突然用一个低沉，性感的声音低声说了一句“上帝，请原谅我将要做的事情！”，我以为他这是在用另一种方式来增加情趣，所以我小声的迎合说所有的事情我都喜欢。结果话音刚落，这个货放了一个大大的响屁。FML
Today, I went on what I thought was my fifth date with a guy. We finally got intimate and it was amazing. As soon as it was over, he said : "Sorry babe, I should get going. I have a date tomorrow and I'd hate to be tired for it." FML
今天，我跟一个约会了我五次的家伙上了床，当时的感觉真的很棒。但是，一结束，这家伙就跟我讲说：“对不起宝贝，我该走了。我得保持体力来应付明天的另一个约会。”FML
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