S11E01

尴尬的二手衣物交换

-My very first clothing exchange .I'v never felt so cosmopolitan--that's a word I learned in  a bar.

-So the magazine says we each present an item of clothing and the first one to call "dibs" gets it.

-Oh,like a key party.

-Ok,these boots I only wore once, and then I stopped wearing maroom.

-Dibs!These are adorable.I have a perfect outfit for.....

Ok,everybody,my turn.How about these.They'er functional.They can go straight from a PTA meeting to a sexy night on a town.

-Aunt Peggy, culottes 裙裤 aren't cool.Even though it sounds like they should be.

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As a result,Nancy would rather have a pair of men's dirty flip-flops than my soft ball jersey.Apparently,it wasn't feminine enough.You think I'm feminine,don't you Hank? 

-Sure you are, you are a wife and a mother.

-Yes,there's that.I just felt so ungainly  compared to those women.

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How much do you love zebra print?

OK,you know how when you see a really cute baby, and you just want to eat it?That is how I feel about these shoes.

Oh,here,you take it.

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I felt this instant sense of camaraderie  with her that I don't normally find with other women.

So you got someone to talk to about this stuff now.That's great.

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-Hum,this chicken curry is delicious.I could understand why it is one of Oprah's favorite Sandwiches.

-Peggy,you ate that whole sandwich and none of your lipstick smeared or came off at all.How do you do that?

-Well just before biting.I move the teeth forward and slide the lip up.I'll show you in slow-mo.

-It works.This is going to be a life saver.See,I do this song and dance act on the weekends, and I need to be able to snack between sets.So I don't pass out during the particularly emotional numbers(激动的人群).Thank you Peggy.

-I got the idea from watching Shark attacks on Natural Channels or a Bette Davis movie.I can't remember ..