Body Shame

Ladies and Gentlemen, have you ever thought of that you are not thin enough? Are you satisfied with your body?

Is it really because you are overweight or people around you made you think so?

I observed that many people around me have ever encountered various levels of body shame.

The reason why I chose this topic could be dating back to a story my friend Kate told me. One year ago,Kate went to a one-week-hiking with 2 of her friends, a boy and a girl who doesn’t know each other, but the boy happened to know the girl’s ex-boyfriend. On the first day of their meeting, the boy told Kate secretly with a cold manner:” Oh,so she’s my friend’s ex-girlfriend, she’s so fat, no wonder my friend dumped her.” Kate was shocked, she never thought that boy would evaluate a girl’s value out of her body shape. And I was impressed by the notion she mentioned——bodyshame.

Body shame means to criticize or mock someone based on the shape, size, or appearance of their body.

Growing up, I had long been held back by my overweight problem, I wasn’t that fat, just not thin enough to look prettier. I received a lot of negative comments from my families and someone else criticizing my wardrobe choices and body-shaming me, which made me very sensitive and lack of confident. And for long, I thought I could only be lovedwhen I get thin enough. But how thin is good enough for being loved? I HAVE NO IDEA. I only know that I don’t love my body at all.

In 2018, I went to Houston, United States for the very first time for an overseas auditing. In a local supermarket, I saw many overweight adult Americans, I think it might because of the food is way too salty or sweet that made them that fat. But I’m curious that how could them be so overweight but still confident and comfortable with their body?

It makes me think that maybe the society we are living in Mainland China is single valued, you have to be thin enough to be beautiful and welcomed. Also, there is interest behind these beauty values. Commercials could sell more products by showing the perfect pictures of models, superstars. They consciously tell you that you are not good enough, so you would try their products to be “perfect” in their definition.

And once that kind of value being accepted and took for granted, people who are not so commercially perfect suffer from judgement and teasing. 

But I really wanna ask those people who judge or tease others by their figures: does it ever get cold on the moral high ground?

And I want all of my audience to think about it: How do you define beauty?

You don’t define what is beauty only by the body shape or appearance, right? There are standards for so many things, but there shouldn’t have standard for beauty.

To some extent, all kinds of body is beautiful if you love and accept yourself. Don’t live for others’ judgement,accept yourself, be yourself, be confident and comfortable with your body and who you are. Live sexier and freer.

For recent years, I started to learn to accept my body and be friend with it. I start a training which I think is useful, every week I would say to myself in the mirrow:” I love you, I really really love you, and I accept you exactly as who you are.” I tried to be healthier so I chose to eat less fatty food, more vegetable, and I practice every week, I’m still not a perfect body but I love myself more. I think I am sexy now.

Don’t let any kind of negative voice stop you from embracing your beauty and body. If you think I’m pretty, just tell me that, and I will thank you for that, and if you think my body is not matching your beauty-appreciation, just shut your month up. And I strongly advocate my audience not to judge others by other people’s figures, because words could hurt. Do not bodyshame others, nor yours. Love yourself more, and you will love the world more, and you will find the world is so beautiful.