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大师游戏II 154~理解

大师游戏II 154~理解

作者: 心水 | 来源:发表于2021-09-28 18:19 被阅读0次

    今天是大师游戏第154天星期二,继续读《Dark NLP》,今天谈一下理解,如何理解人和这个世界,可以说理解是一个优秀教练最关键的能力,当客户被深深地理解了,神奇的事情就会自然而然地发生。

    This section is one of the most important in the entire book as it provides you with a way of seeing the world that will enable you to become effective and take control of your circumstances, rather than vice versa.

    理解为什么这么重要?因为理解了这个世界,你就会变被动为主动控制你所处的环境,而不是被你所处的环境所控制。

    The first key understanding you must reach is it doesn’t so much matter what you do or say - what matters is the result you are able to attain. If this sounds very results oriented and tactical, it’s because it is.

    你理解这个世界的第一个关键点是:我们要从客户想要的结果去理解客户,而不是TA做了或说了什么,这就是成果导向的思维方式。

    The second core mental attitude required for Dark NLP is to understand that absolutely everything is completely subjective, and even if people use the same words they may have entirely different meanings associated with the words in their mind.

    理解这个世界的第二个关键点是:所有的事物都是主观的。举个例子,同样一个世界,有人觉得世界是友善的,有人觉得世界是危险的,是我们的想法赋予了这个世界色彩与意义。

    Once you realize nothing has any absolute, objective meaning, you are free to manipulate the subjective meaning of things to your own advantage.

    既然这个世界是主观的,你就可以自由地为了自己的目的去操控这些主观的意义。

    Let’s say a manager needed their workers to work some extra hours to get an important project wrapped up. In the workers’ minds, at least initially, they may feel that they are being exploited. If the manager is a skilled user of Dark NLP, however, they will be able to tie the extra work into the workers’ values and give it a better meaning, such as making a sacrifice for the greater good.

    举个例子,加班本身并未好坏,在管理层眼里,加班是好的,在员工眼里,加班是坏的,那怎么才能让员工心甘情愿地加班呢?答案是赋予加班员工想要的价值。

    Dark NLP also emphasizes the fact the language people use is not an absolute representation of what they are thinking or feeling.

    理解这个世界,我们还要理解这个世界的语言,语言的含义也是主观的,光看语言本身是无法知道这个语言背后的含义的。

    For example, two people may use the word ‘fine’ to describe how they are feeling. Assuming they mean the same thing in both cases would be a huge mistake.

    Over the years of their life, both people would have built up a series of references, experiences, and meanings for them, which they have come to associate with the word ‘fine.’

    For any given word a person uses, they have an entire history supporting exactly what they mean by it. Failing to take into account this highly subjective use of language means you will never be able to understand people on a deeply personal level.

    例如,两个人可能使用“ fine ”这个词来描述他们的感觉。假设他们在两种情况下的意思是一样的,那就大错特错了。在他们多年的生活中,两个人都积累了一系列的经验和意义,他们把这些经验和含义与“好”这个词联系在一起。

    对于一个人使用的任何一个词,他们都有完整的历史来支持他们的意思。如果不把这种高度主观的语言使用考虑进去,就意味着你永远不可能在深刻的个人层面上理解他人。

    It requires you to become attuned to not only the words that people say but also the emotional tone with which they say them. You need to look past the surface, obvious meaning of the word and figure out the precise meaning it has for the individual that is using it.

    所以要洞察语言背后的真实含义,就要不仅听到语言还有听到语言背后的感觉,找到足够的证据去发现语言背后的含义。

    Once you have figured out the precise meaning of words for people that are using them you are in a position to mirror the words back and influence them on a deep, subconscious level.

    那当你可以识别客户关键词背后的真正含义时,你就对客户使用这个词,对TA产生深层次潜意识层次的影响。

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