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没有胡须的男人和他的熊 (2015/7/19)

没有胡须的男人和他的熊 (2015/7/19)

作者: scarslitt | 来源:发表于2019-07-01 15:15 被阅读0次

    写在前面:好像这是以前自己企图写小说(抄袭光头强)的一篇初稿!!!果然还是没有成为冰心一般的作家,,,但是草稿有了什么不能做!那时候的Chinglish真的是一流。

    这是现实版乡村矛盾,医闹,群殴,乱搞事件。

    半夜可不能读自己写的东西,会笑的胃疼。

    -------------------------------------------------

    The bear and the man with no hair.

    Once upon a time, there was a man with absolutely no hair and a bear.

    The man went in to the forest and to be a hunter; he was forgetting some food to eat. Somehow, they met each other in the forest and the man knew that he wanted a bear for food and to sell for the longest time ever…

    So obvs he took the gun out of his back pack right infront of the bear. When he was attempting to pull the trigger, the bear talked.

    ”I never knew that a bear would talk like human what even?!”The bear said:”well yeah bro I am the first bear that you metthat would actually talked to humans, and the other ones, huh? They don’t even care about you guys, they only care about the place of themselves among all ofthe bears in this forests and food. Well, sometimes girls…But they don’t talk about them very often.”Hunter said:”well…that’s ridiculous…”he moved closer tothe bear.

    Seems like the Bear noticed something:”Ok Now calmdown bro…I don’t even know you but I do have a name. My name is awolll. Just open your month and go like: AWOLLL…OMG LIKE ARE YOU GONNA KILL ME NOW? !BROOO! I HAVE TOLD YOU SO MANY THINGS AND YOU ARE GOING TO KILL ME NOW?! THIS ISN’TRIGHT! NOW PUT YOUR GUN DOWN PLZZZZ! 

    The man:”uhh no. are you kidding me right now at this point where I am going to shoot you?? Sorry but I do need food. Awoll:" okay… I need to call my lawyer to get my insurance company money back and I need to talk to my children and my wife and my neighbor and my house keeper and my teacher and my ex-wife and…the man talked: NOW STOP IT! WHY DO YOU TALKSO MUCH CAN’T YOU JUST SHUT YOUR MOUTH PLEASE?!

    Awoll: OK FINE WHAT SO EVER…look there’s a UFO!!

    The man turned around and looked scared but he saw nothing.

    “”you need to learn more!” Awoll ran away and laughed so hard when he was talking.

    The man: OH COME ON!SERIOUSLY?!WE WERE GOOD FRIENDS!Oh darn… how am I supposed to tell my wife that we had no food tonight…

    On his way home, he was so angry that made him thought of something: “maybe I should gather some of my own hunters to defend these bears that are talks in the forests…Why am I so smart?”He laughed.

    He did actually gather some of his friends to pay them money for each week hard works. They call it the GANG.

    On the other side, awoll also reported to the highest council among the bears-the oldest but the strongest. He is so mad about the humans trying to kill them and they were mad about the same name-the gang.

    They also made themselves stronger and more powerful. The hunters went and bought some very good guns ready to move and thebears fighting with each other mostly with paws to use every minute they could…

    They were all ready to fight.

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