the person you wish to be and the things you wish to achieve are within you, however,the reward from success and personal accomplishment will be worth it. The inferiority complex had melted away, and I realized that underneath our thoughts, each person is a genius.
children's social and emotional abilities are as fragile as their immune systems. If we overprotect kids and keep them safe from unpleasant social situations and negative emotions, we deprive them of the challenges and opportunities for skill-building they need to grow strong. Such children are likely to suffer more when exposed later to other unpleasant but ordinary life events.
it's not the kid's fault.in the Uk, as in the US, parents became much more fearful in the 1980s and 1990s as cable TV and later the Internet exposed everyone, more and more, to those rare occurrences of crimes and accidents that now occur less and less. Outdoor play and independent mobility went down; screen time and adults-monitored activities went up.
Yet free play in which kids work out their own rules of engagement, take more risks and learn to master small dangers turns out to be vital for the development of adult social and even physical competence. Depriving them of free play prevents their socia-emotional growth.
When you criticize yourself, your friends might think you have the same standards for them.
if you can do what you are weakest at, you can handle any challenge.
For previous generations, college was a decisive break from parental control; guidance and support needed to come from people of the same age and from within.
year 2018 marks the 14th anniversary of China's reform and opening up. the past 4 decades, has seen China shift its society from a farmer's community to a digital culture successfully. under the leadership of CPC, many achievements can be seen in every field. the life of the Chinese people has improved with millions of people being lifted out of poverty, the country now was the world's largest high-speed rail network. and with around 800 million Internet users, China has become the world's fastest growing online shopping market.
discovering yourself plays an important role in inspiring your confidence. by doing so you can know what you are weak at, and you might also realize you're quite a great person with great strength, so when you are in the hard situation, you will believe in yourself and spend the most difficult time with confidence, otherwise you might give up and then lose everything, therefore the ability to trust yourself will decide your future a lot.
I have always been an independent person, but I have come to know that being independent does not mean refusing help, I may still be struggling with asking for help, but I tried to accept. furthermore, I will even offer help and when my offers are refused, I am seldom willing to walk away.Sometimes a person's independence is a mix of pride, daring, stubbornness and luck. Actually, the person who needs help the most is usually the last person to ask for it. I have learned accepting is better than refusing because it's not only helps you walk out of trouble, but also helps you know the real meaning of life.
he replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not been able to recognize him in 5 years now, I was surprised and asked him "and you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?"he smiled as he patted my hand and said, "she doesn't know me, but I know who she is." I had to hold back tears as he left now, I realized that the marriages, true love means and acceptance of all that is. The happiest people doesn't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the best of what they have. Life isn't about how to leave through the storm, but how to dance in the rain.
At the funeral home Kelly came right to me in her hands were 2 packages of m and M's. Kevin knew that was one of my favorites， we had open take a long long trips to the store for chocolate with that in the back, eating m and M's, and talking quietly. A painful experience had suddenly become easier to bear with a childhood offering of chocolates and the company of a devoted friend.
trying to come up with something to offer a heart broken person it's difficult, Kelly had understood, even at 12, that there wasn't much she could do to reduce my pain, but be there with me and bring something that just might make me smile. Now, whenever Kelly and I find ourselves at a funeral home for a family member of ours, the other has always shown up with m and M's, a small offering of cheer to take the edge off the hovering. sorrow we've joked that when we are old, the one who dies first will have a crazy old lady throwing m and M's in her grave. and as will always be significant to me, they will remind me that even when something is painful and powerful as death comes to claim. what's most important to me, there will always be Kelly…and her chocolate.
18西城二模
the resilient children had what psychologists call an internal locus of control内控点. they believe that they, and not their circumstances, affected their achievements, there is helium children saw themselves as the cars are arrangers of their own fate
But I saw it differently，my father trusted me to have the intelligence to spend money wisely，even better he gave me the means to get it on A very basic Level. My father was giving me charge over my own fun trusting my ability to manage money and making me feel like a grown up. My mother had A gift for giving me what I needed，usually right at the moment I needed It most. This was when I was twenty five I failed at being an adult on my very first try, I had quitted my previous job but had no new one. But when my mother paid me a visit I put on a good show telling her I had started my own company. My mother knew that I was trying hard and failing at that time. It wasn't until after she left that I noticed that at the foot of my bed there’s an envelope thick with money，she knew how desperately I needed, she knew that had she just shown up with groceries，or，offered to pay my rent，she would have made me feel much worse，the cold hard cash meant she was helping me and, Finally enough the distance with which，give the gift，felt like she was giving me the space to fix my life and preserve my dignity. My mother and father both did the same thing，one was giving me a means to take my own decisions，and the other was giving me a second chance when those decisions had cost me dearly.
The only person standing in your way is you. It's time to let it go. Lose yourself.
你的本性在阻碍你。赶走她，释放你自己。
Perfection is not just about control. It's also about letting go.
完美不是控制出来的，是爆发出来的。
Surprise yourself so you can surprise the audience.
超越自己，征服自己，征服观众。
One worships what he owns.
一个人拥有什么，他就会崇拜什么。
Every great career has to come an end.
每个伟大的事业都有结束的一天。
What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.名称有什么关系呢?玫瑰不叫玫瑰，依然芳香如故。 —Shakespeare(莎士比亚)
心有猛虎，细嗅蔷薇。是英国诗人西格里夫·萨松代表作《于我，过去，现在以及未来 》的经典诗句。原话是“In me the tiger sniffs the rose.”诗人余光中将其翻译为：心有猛虎，细嗅蔷薇。意思是，老虎也会有细嗅蔷薇的时候，忙碌而远大的雄心也会被温柔和美丽折服，安然感受美好。讲的是人性中阳刚与阴柔的两面。
Forgiving someone does not mean denying a person’s responsibility for hurting you,nor does it mean minimizing, or justifying the act. It does mean being willing to forgive someone without condoning(宽恕） or excusing what they did, and then letting it go. Forgiveness is a choice. It is the process of uncovering and letting go of anger, while restoring hope and moving on with life. In other words, while there is no question that we have the right to feel resentment and the desire to respond accordingly, we have the ability to make the choice not to. When we do, we refuse to play the role of the victim
and we let go of the control and power that the offending person, or situation,has over us. We chose not to allow grudges, hurt or wrongdoings to define our lives.
Certainly it can be difficult to separate what you feel emotionally with what makes sense to do logically. However, if you commit to putting your enemies on focusing on the benefits of forgiveness and letting go, you can more easily move forward with your life.
Letting go can be defined as “a combination of accepting but not denying; living in the present and looking forward to the future without a regret for the past, and willingness to move on and beyond”.
Serious mental，emotional and physical consequences can result from holding on to grudges and bitterness. Consequences such as depression, anxiety and the feeling that your life lacks meaning and purpose, as well as the loss of valuable connectedness（连通性） with family and friends, become high prices to pay for holding on to resentment.
Ultimately, the act of forgiveness releases us from past hurts, memories and enslavement.Alternatively, to not forgive is to surrender oneself to control of others and allow the present to be consumed by the past if we choose not to forgive,
we subject ourselves to the possibility of carrying anger, bitterness and resentment into future situations and relationships as well as deprive ourselves of the peace of mind, health and happiness we deserve. In the end, the best revenge it’s a life well lived!
Parents can only give good advice or put their children on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.-Anne Frank
Today we have an equivalent need to recognize a new phase of lifeThat comes after high school graduation continuously through college and then leads to starting a family and having a career the so-called Odyssey years. Recent trends show radical changes as young people are following a different agenda. They take breaks from school,live with friends and often return to living with your parents. Similarly, they fall in and out of love, quit one job and try another or even shift to a new career. So we need to recognize this new stage the odyssey years which many now consider to be an unavoidable stage in reaching an adulthood.
People who were born prior to the 60s or 70s in the last century tended to frame their concept of adulthood based upon achieving certain accomplishments: moving away from home, becoming financially independent, finding the right spouse and starting a family. But that emphasis on stability do not remain static. Today, young people are unlikely to do the same. During the odyssey years, a high proportion of young people are delaying marriage, child bearing, and even employment.
the odyssey years can saddle young with enormous pressure to move forward quickly. As the sole heir and focus of their parents’ expectations, hopes and dreams, some react with rebellious and prideful attitudes and behavior toward their parents. they often resent the pressure they’re feeling and keep a distance from their parents or even run away from home. Their confusion comes from the difficulties to make parents understand them and the fluid journey of discovery they need in this phase of their lives to get away from this confusion it and upset many young people resort to computer games, iPod, iPhones or iPads to help distract them from their pain and stress.
Likewise, their parents are feeling more anxious. They may make allowance for a transition phase from student life to adult life, but they get upset when they see the transition of their grown children’s lives moving away from their expectations and stretching five years to seven years, and beyond. The parents don’t even detect a clear sense of direction in their children’s lives.They look at them and see the things that are being delayed.
It’s hard to predict was next. New guidelines haven’t been established yet, and everything seems to give way to a less permanent version of itself. There’s been a shift in the status and balance of power between the gender, too. More women are getting degrees than man. Male wages have remained stable over the past decades, while female wages have bloomed.
Apart from anything else, this has had an implicit effect on courtship. Educated women can get many of the things they want, such as security, accomplishment, and identity without marriage. However both genders are having a harder time finding suitable mates to build their lives with. Considering all of this, it’s beneficial to know that even though graduates are doing many things after college, service show they still hold a highly traditional aspirations. For example, this contemporary generation rates parenthood even more highly than previous generations did!
This new phase will likely grow more pronounced in the coming years. Nations around the world have witnessed similar trends towards delaying marriage and spending more years than ever shifting between higher education and settling down with a career and family.
Nevertheless, graduates shouldn’t be deceived into thinking they can back off simply because things have become more difficult. A large number of people chasing relatively fewer opportunities can create strong competitive pressure. So, from the outset, keep your resume professional and up-to-date.
To reinforce this essential message, success moving through the odyssey years will come to those who don’t expect to achieve their goals right away but knows the news that I know that they must have the strength, capacity and confidence to endure over the long term. if you’re a little late with your goals don’t feel like a failure! Stay strong, be positive, and keep focused. someday you will look back and wonder at the vast changes as you passed through the odyssey years.
There are numerous and reliable ways by which one can measure the impact of employment on student achievement, and we used several in our research. We compare the grades of students who work a great deal with those who work in limited amounts or not at all. We also contrasted workers with non-worker, on different indicators of their commitments to education. Additionally, we followed the students overtime as they increased or decreased the work hours, and we assessed how different patterns of employment altered school performance and engagement.
We have simplified and classified the data and the results are clear: The stakes are high. A heavy commitment to a part-time job during the Academy academic year, say, working 20 hours per week or more, undermines and significantly interferes with school achievement and commitment. Overall, our study offers proof that the students who worked more than 20 hours weekly were not comparable to their classmates. They earned lower grades, spent less time on homework, cut class more often and cheated more frequently. And they reported lower levels of commitment to school and more modest educational aspirations.
On the other hand, we also detected a different pattern. Working for approximately 10 hours per week or less seemingly does not take a consistent toll on school performance. Nevertheless, given that half of all employed seniors, about 1/3 of all Juniors, and about 1/5 of all second year students work above the 20 hour limit, indications are that a large number of students are at risk of compromising the school careers with their part-time jobs.
Whereas it is true that most disengaged students are more likely to work long hours to begin with, it appears that working makes a marginal situation worse. In other words, over time, the more students work, the less committed to school they become. When students withdraw from the labor force or cut back on their work hours, however, the results are striking: their interest in school is generated anew. This then is good news: The negative effects of working on schooling are not permanent.
We uncovered numerous explanations for the undesirable effects of working on student’s engagement in school. First, owing to their demanding work schedule, working students have less time to devote to school assignment. One common response to this time pressure is that they cut corners by taking easier classes, copying assignments from other students, cutting class or refusing to do work assigned by the teachers. Overtime, as this become established practices, students’ commitment to school is eroded bit by bit.
Second, In order to work 20 hours or more each week, many students must work evenings. evening work interferes not only with doing homework but with both sleep and diet. Studies show that working students get less rest and eat less healthy meals than non-working students. Burning the midnight oil makes working teenagers more tired in school. Teachers frequently complain about working students falling asleep in class. Nearly 1/3 of the students in our study said they were frequently too tired from work to do their homework.
Third, it appears that the excitement of earning large amounts of spending money makes school seem less rewarding and interesting. Although mind-wandering during school is characteristic of young adults, working students report significantly more of it than non-workers. Indeed, the rush from earning and spending money may be so strong that students who have a history of intensive employment, those who, for example, have been working long hours since their second year, are actually at greater risk than their classmates of dropping out before graduating.
Finally, working long hours can be associated with increased alcohol and drug us. Working students use drugs and alcohol about 33% more than more often than non-working students. Our long-term study shows that working long hours leads to increased alcohol and drug use for entertainment and recreation among working students. Teenagers with between 200 and 300 of monthly surplus income frequently have more money to spend than their peers, and often they become accustomed to spending their earnings on drugs and alcohol according to our study alcohol and drug use intern may be linked to disengagement from school and therefore is likely to depress school performance.
To summarize, convention has long held that employment builds character. Our findings indicate that for many students, working 20 hours or more a week can contribute to decreased school performance and increased drug and alcohol use. We know that these findings may seem controversial to many. To our own surprise, our findings makes us question how long we have held onto the conventional assumptions about the great value of work in our formative years. It’s time to abandon this appealing myth! we conclude that students should resolve to work no more than 10 hours per week if they want to be successful in school.
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