Hbr 2016.11.19

1. How to Deal with a Boss Who Behaves Unexpectedly

Jekyll-and-Hyde bosses are challenging when one is the target. Picking your battles carefully is important.

The Do’s and Don’ts in coping with a moody manager:

Do:

• Make a note of any patterns in your manager’s outbursts. Finding common causes can help you develop strategies for coping.

• Be situationally aware.Understand what kind of mood your boss might be in before approaching her with requests.

• Defuse a tense situation with some well-timed gratitude.

Don’t:

• Take it personally. The boss is probably lashing out at something that has nothing to do with you.

• Swing back. Responding with an outburst of your own will only inflame the situation.

• Suffer in silence. If a bullying boss is affecting your work, bring it up with HR.

2. How to Respond When You’re Left Out of Important Meetings

Omission from important meetings is an opportunity of checking if you can add value. Follow the checklist before recommending to be included: 

1.Check who is included and the meeting agenda to determine if adding you is appropriate.

2.Develop your rationale for being included and what your role can offer to add value.

3.Reach out to host briefly first, then convey your reasons clearly how your presence will help

a.Eg. along the lines of “I noticed that I’m not on the attendee list for the weekly operations meeting. After speaking with Joe about what is generally covered on the agenda,I think it would be helpful if I was there. This will ensure that the marketing perspective is represented and will keep my team in the loop of upcoming priorities so we can plan accordingly and meet critical deadlines. If you agree that it makes sense for marketing to be included, we can discuss whether that representative is me or someone from my team.”

4.Focus on the process than personalities.

One gains the respect when putting aside his ego and individual career goals.

On the other hand, sometimes it works better by opting out of meetings where you won’t add value. Selflessness and maturity go a long way toward building social capital and goodwill.