Welearn写作宝典英语二

Welearn写作宝典英语二

第一章、考研英语写作（二）简介

杨凡达

Part A

Directions: Suppose  you won a translation  contest;  your friend  Jack wrote  an

email to congratulate  you and ask advice on translation.  Write him a reply to

1) thank him,  and

2) give your advice.

You should  write about 100 words on the ANSWER SHEET. Do not sign

your own name  at the end of the letter.  Use “Li Ming” instead.

Do not write the  address. (10 points)

Part B

Directions:  In  this  section,  you  are asked  to  write  an  essay  based  on the

following chart,  in which you should

1) interpret the  chart and

2) give your comments.

You should  write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

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Welearn写作宝典英语二

第二章、考研英语写作（二）评分标准

5分首段描述

The chart  gives the propotions of different kind of the  investagation that  the

purpose of college students  who taking for trips. Tourism  for sightseeing,

driving thier pressure  away and other purposes take up  37% 33% 15%.

Purpose for making friends  and digging out their independent ability take  up

less, about 9% and 6%.

8分首段描述

The pie chart above clearly illustrated  the purpose of undergraduates’ traveling.

37% students  said they  travel just  to enjoy  the beauty  of scenery. While  33%

students  thought they  going out  to relieve pressure.  Students’ other  purposes

such as  making more  friends, fostering  capability of independence  and other

reasons relatively  account for 15%, 6% and 9%.

11分首段描述

The  pie  shows that  the  proportions  of  various  reasons  of college  students’

travelling. According to it, 37% of students go travelling  are to enjoy the scenery

and 33% travel to get themselves out  of pressure. Another one third of students

are on the purposes of  making friends, being independently and  so on.

14分首段描述

The chart  gives a breakdown of the proportions of students from  a college who

travel for different  purposes. As it stands, 37% respondents tell  that they travel

for  sightseeing,  followed  by 33%  relieving  stress. Besides,  those  touring  to

make friends and to learn  to be independent share 9% and  6% respectively.

【评分细则】

第五档 A节（9-10分）B节（13-15分）

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Welearn写作宝典英语二

很好地完成了试题规定的任务。

——包含所有内容要点；

——使用丰富的语法结构和词汇；

——语言自然流畅，语法错误极少；

——有效地采用了多种衔接手法，文字连贯，层次清晰；

——格式和语域恰当贴切。

对目标读者完全产生了预期的效果。

第四档 A节（7-8分）B节（10-12分）

较好地完成了试题规定的任务。

——包含所有内容要点，允许漏掉1、2个次重点；

——使用较丰富的语法结构和词汇；

——语言基本准确，只有在试图使用较复杂结构或较高级词汇时才有个别语

法错误；

——采用了恰当的衔接手法，层次清晰，组织较严密；

——格式和语域较恰当。

对目标读者完全产生了预期效果。

第三档 A节（5-6分）B节（7-9分）

基本完成了试题规定的任务。

——虽漏掉一些内容，但包含多数内容要点；

——应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的需求；

——有一些语法及词汇错误，但不影响理解；

——采用了简单的衔接手法，内容较连贯，层次较清晰；

——格式和语域基本合理。

对目标读者基本完全产生了预期的效果。

第二档 A节（3-4分）B节（4-6分）

未能按要求完成试题规定的任务。

——漏掉或未能有效阐述一些内容要点，写了一些无关内容；

——语法结构单调、词汇项目有限；

——有较多语法结构及词汇方面的错误，影响对于写作内容的理解；

——未采用恰当的衔接手法，内容缺少连贯性；

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Welearn写作宝典英语二

——格式和语域不恰当。

未能清楚地传达信息给读者。

第一档 A节（1-2分）B节（1-3分）

未完成试题规定的任务。

——明显遗漏主要内容，且有许多不相关的内容；

——语法项目和词汇的使用单调、重复；

——语言错误多，有碍读者对内容的理解，语言运动能力差；

——未采用任何衔接手法，内容不连贯，缺少组织、分段；

——无格式和语域概念。

未能传达信息给读者。

零档（0分）

所传达的信息所使用语言太少，无法评价；内容与要求无关或无法辨认。

【关于内容要点】

5分范文

The  data  shows  us  the  view  of  college  students  for  tourism‘s  meaning.

Nowadays, students spend  most of thier daily time for taking class. Seldom can

they have  chance to go far places to visit. They  wanna go to different places to

enjoy beautiful  senery  during haolidays  and vacation  so as  to relive  stresses

and develop their inner  independence, also making new friends  during the trip.

11分范文

Today,  more  and  mre  students  enrich  their  knowledge  and  experience  by

traveling.  On  one  hand,  college  students  attained  enough  knowledge  from

books, which should  be connected with  the life. Then,  travel would  be a better

choice.  By the  way,  during  the travel,  a person can  put  aside their  puzzing

problems and  relax themselves.  Then, with  a better emotion,  they come back

to their  studies. On the  other hand,  it is  our socity’s requirement.  Our  society

need not  only the knowledgeable  person,  but the ones  who can express  their

ideas  independently,  knowing  the  world  widely  and  have  good  relationship

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Welearn写作宝典英语二

among their peers. Travel  can help college students  achieve them.

【关于语法结构和词汇】

（外刊好词好句）Just as  drones（无人机）  can make up for  poor roads, the

theory  goes, mobile  phones  can overcome  a lack  of  well-functioning  banks,

portable solar panels can stand  in for missing power stations and free  learning

apps can substitute for  patchy education.

（学生作品）We live in different countries,  speak different languages,  but love

is something  common  to us  all. But  how  to show  love  may be different  with

different people in different countries.

（如何丰富语法结构和词汇）

例 1：年轻人应该学会相互尊重。

例 2：大多数老年人都渴望安度晚年。

【关于语言错误】

14分范文

As is  shown in the  chart, mobile  phone subscriptions  grow rapidly  from 2000

and 2008. We  can also find that  developing countries  are the driving  force for

such a rapid growth. According to the chart, mobile-phone  subscription number

increased to 8 times from 2000 to 2008, that is from around 0.5 billion to 4 billion,

while  subscription  number only  increased  twice from  around  0.5  billion to  1

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Welearn写作宝典英语二

billion.

8分范文

As clearly  seen  from the  chart that  mobile-phone  subscriptions  are between

developing countries  and developed countries from 2000 to 2008. According to

the chart mentioned  above, we can see in 2000, the mobile phone subscription

numbers are 0.5  billion in developing countries, but the  numbers are 0.7 billion

in developed  countries. However,  the mobile-phone  subscription numbers  are

4 billion in  developing countries  in  2008, meanwhile,  the phone  numbers  are

still 1 billion in developed countries. For my respective, there are some reasons

as below:

一眼可识别的语言错误

●句子成分不完整（主要表现为缺少谓语）

●句子成分多余（主要表现为连写谓语或连写句）

●名词短语类错误（主要表现为冠词、单复数、可数不可数）

●常见搭配(动词短语、形容词短语和名词短语)

例 1：There are  many ways to  keep fit. Swimming, skating,  climbing, jogging,

and so on.

例 2：Many people are afraid  of making choices. Because they  fear that what

are not chosen might turn  out to be better.

例 3：Quite a  few young  people think  that protect the  environment  is none  of

their businesses.

【关于结构和连贯性】

14分范文

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Welearn写作宝典英语二

Why does this phenomenon appear? I think  there are several possible reasons

for this. First, with a rapid growth of population, more and more people came to

live where  some  wild species  have  been living.  Then  these species  have to

move  to  other  places.  Some  of  them  probably  cannot  adapt  to  the  new

environment  and  die. Second,  although  many  people look  on the  wildlife  as

their friends,  some people  may not think  so. They  catch a  lot of wild animals

and sell  them in order  to get more money.  Third,  with the  development of the

industry,  the natural balance  and the ecologic environment  are destroyed.  The

deforestation has  become more  and  more serious.  So some of  the  wildlives

become homeless and  extinct.

A节官方范文精讲

Directions: You  have just  come back from  Canada and found  a music  CD in

your luggage  that you  forgot to return  to Bob, your landlord  there. Write  him a

letter to

1) make an apology, and

2) suggest a solution.

You should  write about 100 words on the ANSWER SHEET.

Do not sign your own name at the end of the letter. Use “Li Ming” instead.

Dear Bob,

①How are you these  days? ②Please say hello to Liz and  Maple.

③I’ve  got  to  say  apology  to you,  due  to my  carelessness  and  the

crammed schedule  before I left Canada, I forgot to return  to you the  music CD

of M.J. ④I discovered that only when  I arrived home and started to unpack my

luggage. ⑤Fortunately,  one of my colleagues is leaving for your city next week,

and he  has promised to  take the CD  to you directly.  ⑥Also, he’ll  take to you

some small gifts from my family.

⑦All my best wishes!

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Welearn写作宝典英语二

Yours,

Li Ming

B节官方范文精讲

①The above is a table showing  the vehicle-related traffic accidents  in the year

2005, as is contrasted with those  of the corresponding classes or categories in

the previous  year.  ②There  are 5  classes of  vehicle-related  accidents in the

table, divided  in accordance with  the causes  of the  accidents. ③Of  all the  5

classes of accidents, 4 have gone up, and only one goes down slightly, showing

a worsening situation.

④Of  the 4  classes  of accidents  that  have  gone up,  the  largest  in scale  of

increase  (15%) comes  in  the  accidents caused  by  drivers  who  have  drunk

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Welearn写作宝典英语二

alcohol. ⑤Under the  influence of alcohol, drivers  are liable to lose their control

or even consciousness, thus  causing disasters. ⑥The total banning  of alcohol

from the  drivers  who  are about  to drive  is  in nature  an action  to save  lives.

⑦Unfortunately,  over four hundred  pedestrians have  become victims of traffic

accidents due to their  own carelessness.

⑧A conclusion can  be easily drawn  that strict observance  of traffic laws  and

regulations,  both drivers and  pedestrians, is the  precondition and  a necessity

of  avoiding  traffic accidents.  ⑨Wheeled  vehicles  have  been  invented  and

produced as a help to human  life, rather than  a killer of human lives.

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