我们为了稳固自我认知以及他人对我们的看法，常常会逃避一些事。遇到问题不询问，以此就不会暴露自己的无知、不会受伤。友人间产生罅隙，不开口也就不会遇冷。遇事顽固不化，听到相异的意见就跳脚辩解或是攻击他人。我们希望一切如常，脆弱的内心不会暴露在空气中，不会受到伤害。
但是，就像肌肉经过不断地撕裂拉伸才会长大，我们也应该锻炼自己脆弱的内心，时常暴露在恐惧中，久而久之，内心也会强大。
诚实面对自己和他人。吐露心声，即使遭到冷嘲热讽，下一次也要继续发声。向曾经伤害过的人道歉，即使得不到原谅，但却是个自我反思的好机会。想不通的时候，就读一读《矛盾十诫》（The Paradoxical Commandments)。
(1) People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
(2) If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
(3) If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
(4) The good you do will be forgotten tomorrow,.
Do good anyway.
(5) Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
(6) The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
(7) People favour underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
(8) What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
(9) People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
(10) Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.
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