年少时，总是梦想未来的生活。无奈阅历有限，读书少，那梦想将我指向了错误的方向。比如我曾经认为，我一辈子都不会开车。或者，只要在这个城市里，有一盏灯是专门为我而亮的，那我就满足了。可是现在，我会开车，并且住在一个老旧的公寓里。好像人生就这样了。仿佛我的灵魂已经不再属于我了。
然后，毫无准备的，我成为了一个妈妈。我仿佛又找到了我的梦想。我想让他过上不同的生活，更好的生活。为了让他开心和成功，我投入了所有的精力去教育他。我觉得他一定更加成功。因为我给了他更确切的目标，我做了一切我能做的，给了他一切我能给的。他应该理所当然的优秀才对啊！但这不是真相。在学习上，他没有耐心，也没有冲劲儿。
这些日子，我改变了想法。我应该自己先改善自己的生活才对。回想过去十年间发生的事，我真的从孩子那里获得的比付出的多。他爱我比我爱他要多。他可以原谅我犯下的错。他可以忍受我的无理取闹。而且，他仍然爱我。
我接受最近所读的书中和所看的视频中的观点：“父母应该在孩子的成长路上保持好奇心，而不是设计他们的生活，抑或是让他们顺从自己。”
从某种程度上来讲，我是一个幸运的人，我年轻时简单的梦想，现在都已经实现了。我应该去寻找全新的梦想了，我一定会让它们更具体。而在那些梦想中，不仅有我，还有我的生活。
To give or to get?
I usually dreamt about my future life when I was young. But due to my limited experience and lack of reading, those dreams lead me to a wrong direction. For example, I would never drive a car, or I would be satisfied if there is a light left just for me in this big city. But now, I’m driving, and I live in an old apartment. As if my life is just like this. I don’t have my soul with me.
Then, unprepared, I become a mother. I get my dream back. I want him to have a different life, a better life. In order to make him happy and successful, I put all my energy into educating my son. I think he’ll be more successful. Because I give him more specific goals and I think I give all I can do and all the things I have to him. He should reasonably, readily be excellent.
But this is not the truth. He is not patient and not inspiring in study.
These days I changed my mind. I think I should live an improved life myself. As I recalled all the things happened in the past ten years, I really get a lot instead of giving a lot from my son. He loves me more than I love him. He can forgive my fault. He can endure my unreasoning. And he still loves me.
I accept the saying from the books I read and the videos saw these days:” Parents should stay curious about raising a child, not design a life for them, not let them be obedient.
To some extent, I am a fortunate person as my dreams have all been achieved till now. I should have new dreams and I’ll make them more specific. They are not just about me. They should include my life.
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