Nana

I met Nana in June 2014, she and her husband that time were my roommates. We rent a suite together, with 2 rooms and 1 hall. She published an advertisement online that she rented one suite, one roommate was wanted for an idle< /ˈaɪdl/闲置的>room, to share the rent fee. I just got a job in Suzhou and was looking for residence , so I called her. On the phone she confirmed with me several times if I pay high attention to hygiene,I said firmly :” yes, I’m that kind of guy.” Then we became roommates.

Nana is beautiful, middle-size figure, thin, raised cheekbones <颧骨>, wearing a dental brace.Her husband Jie is not tall, thin, looks gentle. I remember the first day I moved in, they invited me for dinner at home. We talked a lot and got some basic information about each other. I still remember Nana told me that how much time she and Jie spent on cleaning the suite, the light switches were all black before, they cleaned them all with a lot of time. Then Nana highlighted again about hygiene and asked me softly to change to slippers when entering home. I promised and did it in following days.

Nana was 30 years old, unemployed. She just came from Chengdu alone for marriage. Jie was 2 years younger, working in a foreign company as an after-sales engineer or something. They already registered the marriage certificate. I only knew this about them that time, nothing more. Until about one month later, they burst into quarrels even fights tensely and seriously.

I don’t remember the first time they broke out conflicts. But I do remember one night they fought with big noise, Jie yelled with purposely controlled low voice as I was there with only one wall separated us, but I still could hear it, which made me embarrassed. By Jie’s yelling I can tell his long suppressing emotions.Next day after work, only Nana was at home. She told me her story. As it has passed 6 years and I got a terrible memory, I will try to write down what I can remember but I cannot ensure that all I will tell are totally the truths (and all the stories were told by Nana, maybe not very objective):

Nana was a Chengdu girl, she was born in a poor family. She told me she got raised cheekbones because of lack of nutrition. Her father died when she was 20(or older I don’t remember). She even didn’t have the money to hold the funeral. She only remembered she kept kneeing in front of her father’s coffin and no idea where the money was for tomorrow’s funeral. Everyone can meet his/her God one day. And Nana met hers that day, one of his uncle, her father’s friend. He said :”Nana, come to my office tomorrow.” the next day Nana visited his office and he gave Nana the money she needed urgently. Later Nana worked in real estate industry<房地产行业>for years, from lowest position with low salary to high position with really high salary for her age, which is really not easy, and of course with a lot of pains and tears.

She was going to get married earlier that year, but Jie sent her a message: Nana,don’t go, don’t get married, I love you, marry me! So Nana resigned her work without any hesitation, coming from Chengdu to Suzhou alone for love, for Jie. And soon they got married without a wedding. But after her arrival, she gradually realized that she was not very welcomed by Jie’s family, and sometimes even byJie. Jie bought a house and Nana required to add her name onto the house property ownership certificate, but Jie was indecisive<犹豫不决的> and till the end her name was not on that piece of paper. Nana visited Jie’s family and lived therefor a while. She found that she was not welcomed by a lot of details. (Nana told me the details but I cannot remember). She didn’t want to hunt for a job here because she regarded that everything for them was not settled down which brought her no confidence to go on her life here. She could not bear this kind of life anymore, so they negotiated about divorce. Nana wanted some money for compensation as she gave up a lot for this marriage, her work, her city, her life before and so on. She thought she sacrificed a lot for this failed marriage and she deserved a compensation. What’s more, a divorced woman would receive a lot of discriminations<歧视>in this society which really put her on the disadvantaged side. But Jie said for a divorced man, he was also on the disadvantaged side. Nana required that Jie gave his car to her, Jie promised first and then regretted. Later he promised Nana some money (I don’t remember how much it is or Nana didn’t tell me), but when they arrived at the bank Jie said he got no money which really got Nana very pissed off, angry and hopeless. Nana said that day she jumped into the river, trying to commit suicide.

To comfort her, I told my story to her, also a sad growing-up story. I told her I was learning and practicing Buddhism and it is no good to commit suicide. And I said I want to show her some Buddhist tests. She said she wanted to wash her hands first as she wanted her hands to be clean when touching the texts. But when I showed Buddhist tests on my cellphone and could not explain it very well, she was disappointed. Days later, Nana’s mother came to accompany her.

A few more days later, I raised that I would move to somewhere else, not because of their fights. I planned it a long time ago to move into youth-apartment, a government sponsored program with rent fee much lower than marketing price. But I don’t remember I told them the real reason or not, maybe not. Maybe they felt guilty and embarrassed for my leaving. The day when we settled the rent fee, when I entered home, Jie was sitting there, with fresh scratch wounds on face caused by Nana, and Nana was leaning closely on him, pretending they were still in good love relationship which was really awkward.

Because I left, I don’t know what happened next, but I’m sure Nana went back to Chengdu. There are a few more things I remember about this experience, maybe not very related to Nana’s story. I want to write it in case it disappeared deeply in my brain as I got a terrible memory.

1.  Nana drank sometimes. I remembered one day Jie was knocking the door and Nana rushed to the toilet and poured the wine into closestool<马桶>;

2.  One day Jie sent me a message, give him the door key or something, I don’t remember clearly. And asked me not to tell Nana. But I didn’t notice that message until days later. I thought I would rather better stand out of it, so I didn’t reply. Moreover, it was too late as the message was days ago;

3.  One day I moped<拖把，拖地> the floor. When Nana and Jie came back, I was in the room with door closed. Nana said:” Sun Xingmiao moped the floor, but he didn’t moped it clean.” I don’t know how to express the feeling when I heard it;

4.  One day when Jie came back, Nana didn’t cook. Jie asked why, Nana said she didn’t want to cook. She looked unhappy that day. Jies aid nothing, went outside and came back with a fish. Then Jie cooked that fish;

5.  One day they were not at home, I cooked that day. I used their dishes. When they came back and saw I was washing their dishes.They didn’t say anything and I didn’t say anything;

6.  One day, my girlfriend visited me. We got power cut<停电> that night. Luckily my Xiaomi pad was still powered on. I successfully persuaded my girlfriend to watch the movie together, though I watched it before. But I like this movie very much, I was willing to watch it again, especially with someone I love. After watching the movie, my girlfriend was really moved. It was rare for her to watch such a movie with patience and even got moved. Next morning when she left, she hung on my neck and kissed me which was also rare for her;

7.  After I left, Nana called me. She told me that I took away their induction cooker <电磁炉>, and mine was on their side.So we negotiated that I expressed the induction cooker to her first and then she expressed mine back. When she got hers, she called me and said, the induction cooker was damaged during the delivery, there was a crack. I didn’t want to get this thing complicated and just want to finish it, so I told to her:” keep them both.” She was a little shocked and kept silent for a while, then said :”you don’t need it?” I said:” I use gas stove<燃气灶> now. ” She replied:” Oh, you use gas stove now! Good!” This is the last time I talked to her.

This is all I can remember about Nana. I know she is somewhere in this world (probably in Chengdu), but she doesn’t know one of her life-passers-by is writing her. I wish her happiness, good luck and good health, sincerely.