我需要一本手写的日记

我为什么把日记本落在家里了呢…

我现在需要一本日记来抚慰我内心的糟乱感…

everything is a mess now, I don't know what to do. I should be in the mood for learning and exploring new things, why bother myself with nonsense romance.

把心态放到高三那时候吧。我是还记得的，静下心来。现在，只为学好翻译，只为开拓自己的眼界。

但那样岂不就不是完整的自己了…我现在已经是成年人，难道不可以考虑恋爱的事吗？

Of course you can think about it, but you should not let it affect your study. Study together or study alone doesn't really matter, you see, Richardson can learn much better on his own, and you're communicating with other people. Take it easy, and let it be.

但我知道我一受影响就很难再专注学习啊…

It's not that hard to decide, actually. What you need to do is to know whether this relationship worths your time or not. He is not being responsive, then I'll take it as a no.

So tomorrow morning you're going to follow your timetable and be 100% concentrate on your study. You've done what you can do. And remember: relationship is a mutual thing.