So, why was I still so scared?
Then I found this website by luck. It's called rejectiontherapy.com. "Rejection Therapy" was this game invented by this Canadian entrepreneur. His name is Jason Comely. And basically the idea is for 30 days you go out and look for rejection, and every day get rejected at something, and then by the end, you desensitize yourself from the pain. and , I'm going to do this. And I'll feel myself getting rejected 100 days." I came up with my own rejection ideas, and I made a video blog out of it. And so here's what I did.
Day One: Borrow 100 dollars from a stranger
So this where I went to where I was working. I came downstairs and I saw this big guy sitting behind a desk. He looked like a security guard. So I just approached him. And I was just walking and that was the longest walk of my life -- hair on the back of my neck standing up, I was sweating and my heart was pounding. And I got there and said, "Hey ,sir, can I borrow 100 dollars from you?" And he looked up, he's like, "No." "Why?" And I just said,"No? I'm sorry." Then I turned around, and I just ran. I felt so embarrassed. But because I filmed myself -- so that night I was watching myself getting rejected, I just saw how scared I was. I looked like this kid in "The Sixth Sense." I saw dead people.
But then I was this guy.he wasn't that menacing. He was chubby,loveable guy, and he even asked me, "Why?" In fact, he invited me to explain myself.And I could've said many things, I could've explained, I could've negotiated. I didn't do any of that. All I did was run. I felt, this is like a microcosm of my life.
Every time I felt the slightest rejection, I would just run fast as I could. The next day, no matter what happens, I'm not going to run. I'll stay engaged.
Day Two:Request a "burger refill"
It's when I went to a burger joint, I finished lunch, and I went to the cashier and said, "Hi,can I get a burger refill?"
"What's a burger refill?" He was all confused like
"Well, It's just like a drink refill but with a burger." I said
"Sorry, we don't do burger refill, man." he said
So this is where rejection happened and I could have run,but i stayed.
"Well, I love your burgers, I love your joint, and if you guys do a burger refill, I will love you guys more." I said
" Well,OK,I'll tell my manager about it, and maybe we'll do it but sorry, we can't do this today." he said
Then I left.by the way, I don't think they've ever done burger refill.I think they're still there. But the life and death feeling I was feeling the first time was no longer there, just because i stay engaged -- because I did't ran. I said, "great, I'm already learning things. "
Day Three:Getting Olympic Doughnuts
This is where my life was turned upside down. I went to Krispy Kreme, It's a doughnut shop in mainly the Southeastern part of the United States. I'm sure they have some here,too.
I went in, I said," Can you make me doughnuts that look like Olympic symbols? Basically, you interlink five doughnuts together......"
I mean there's no way they could say yes, right? The doughnut maker took me a seriously. So she put out paper, started jotting down the colors and the rings, and is like, " How can I make this?" And then 15 minutes later, she came out with a box that looked like Olympic rings. And I was so touched. I just couldn't believe it. that video got over five million views on Youtube. The world couldn't believe that either. Because of that I was in newspapers, in talk shows, in everything. I became famous. A lot of people started writing emails to me and saying, " What you're doing is awesome." But, fame and notoriety did not do anything to me. What I really wanted to do was learn, and change myself. So I turned the rest of my 100 days of rejection into this playground -- into this research project. I wanted to see what I could learn. And then I learned a lot of things. I discovered so many secrets. For example, I found if I just don't run, if I got rejected, I could actually turn a "no" into a "yes", and the magic word is, "Why"
So one day I went to a stranger's house, I had this flower in my hand, Knocked on the door and said,"Hey, can I plant this flower in your backyard?"
"No." he said
But before he could leave I said,"Hey, can I know why?"
"I have this dog that would dig up anything I put in the backyard.I don't want to waste your flower. If you want to do this go across the street and talk to Connie. She loves flowers." he said.
So, I went across and knocked on Connie's door. And she was so happy to see me. And then half an hour later, There was this flower in Connie's backyard. But had I left after the initial rejection, I would've thought, It's because the guy didn't trust me, It's because I was crazy, because I didn't dress up well, I didn't look good. It was none of those. It was because what i offered did not fit what he wanted. and he trusted me enough to offer me a referral, using a sales term. I converted a referral.
Then one day, I also learned that I can actually say certain things and maximize my chance to get a yes. so for example, one day I went to a Starbucks, and asked the manager
"Hey, can I be a Starbucks greeter?"
"What's a Starbucks greeter?" he was like
"Do you know those Walmart greeters? those people who say 'hi' to you before you walk in the store, and make sure you don't steal stuff, basically? I want to give a Walmart experience to Starbucks customers." I said
I'm not sure that's a good thing, actually, I'm pretty sure it's a bad thing. And he was like
"Oh, I'm not sure,"
Then I ask him, "Is that weird?"
"yeah,it's really weird, man." he's like
But as soon as he said that, his whole demeanor changed. it's as if he's putting all the doubt on the floor. and he said,"yeah,you can do this, just don't get too weird."
So for the next hour , I was the Starbucks greeter. I said "hi" to every customer that walked in, and gave them holiday cheers. But then I found I could do this because I mentioned , " Is that weird?" I mentioned the doubt that he was having. and because I mentioned, "Is that weird?"
that means I wasn't weird. That means I was actually thinking just like him, seeing this as a weird thing. and again, and again, I learned that if I mention some doubt people might have before I ask the question, I gained their trust. People were more likely say yes to me. And then I learned I could fulfill my life dream--by asking.
I came from four generations of teachers, and my grandma has always told me, "Hey jia,you can do anything you want, but it'd be great if you became a teacher." But I wanted to be an entrepreneur, so I didn't. But it has always been my dream to actually teach something. So I said,"What if I just ask and teach a college class?" I lived in Austin at the time, so I went to University of Texas at Austin and knocked on professors' doors and said, "Can I teach your class?" I didn't get anywhere the first couple of time. But because I didn't run -- I kept doing it -- and on the third try the professor was very impressed. He was like," No one has done this before." and I came in prepared with PowerPoints and my lesson. He said," Wow,I can you this. Why don't you come back in two moths? I'll fit you in my curriculum." And two months later I was teaching a class.
when I finished teaching that class I walked out crying, because I thought I could fulfill my life dream just by simply asking. I used to thing I have to accomplish all these things -- have to be a great entrepreneur, or get a PhD to teach,but no ,I just asked, and I could teach. I quote Martin Luther King, Jr. Why? Because in my research I found that people who really change the world, who change the way we live and the way we think, are the people who were met with initial and often violent rejections. People like Martin Luther King,Jr., like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, or even Jesus Christ. These people did not let rejection define them.They let their own reaction after rejection define themselves. And they embraced rejection. And we don't have to be those people to learn about rejection, and in my case, rejection was my curse, was my boogeyman. It has bothered me my whole life because I was running away from it. Then I started embracing it. I turned that into the biggest gift in my life. I started teaching people how to turn rejections into opportunities. I use my blog,I use my talk, I use the book I just published, and I'm even building technology to help people overcome their fear of rejection.
When you get rejected in life, when you are facing the next obstacle or next failure, consider the possibilities. Don't run. If you just embrace them, they might become your gifts as well.
That's all Jia Jiang storys
So, now it's time to talk about myself. I wrote down every words what he said, because I really fear rejection in the past( exactly is before on June 20 ) .
But now, I'm rebirth
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