第 4 天：将改善关系作为首要目标

Day 4: Improving Relationships as a Primary Goal

第 4 天：将改善关系作为首要目标

Nonviolent Communication suggests that improving  the quality of our relationships is a primary goal.Indeed, that connection with ourselves  and other people takes a higher priority than being right, winning, making more money or  looking good to other people. If you focus on improving the quality of your  relationships through deeper connections, you will improve the state of your  life,enhancethe  peace and love in your life, and feel better about yourself.

非暴力沟通认为，我们的首要目标是提高关系的质量。事实上，我们和他人的连接，比起正确、胜利、赚更多钱或者得到他人的好评更为重要。如果我们专注于通过更深层的连接来改善人际关系的质量，那将会改善我们的生活状态，增加我们生活中的和平与爱，而且我们的自我感觉会更好。

I learned this through personal  experience. I worked from time to time with a business colleague. Over the  years, our relationship deteriorated to the point where we had no civil  connections with each other. Our association was worst just as I was starting  to look at how I contributed to the angst in my relationships. As a result, I  started to focus more on my connections with people rather than trying to be  right or to win arguments.

我通过个人经验学习到这一点。我不时与一位商业伙伴一起工作。多年来，我们的关系恶化到彼此没有任何社交联系的地步。当我们的关系最糟糕的时候，我开始思考我是如何为自己制造人际关系的苦恼的。结果，我开始更多地关注与人的连接，而不是试图正确或者赢得争论。

Within a remarkably short time, my  colleague was telling me how much she admired the change I was making and how  much she enjoyed her relationship with me. We both expressed our sadness for  our earlier behaviors. Today, we are close colleagues who work together in a  variety of projects and easily call each other a friend.

在非常短的时间内，我的工作伙伴告诉我，她是多么钦佩我所做出的改变，以及多么喜欢她与我的关系。我们都对我们之前的行为表示悲伤。今天，我们是亲密的工作伙伴，在各种项目中一起工作，并且很容易互相称对方为朋友。

When you shift your focus to valuing your  connection with other people, you improve the quality of your life and your  relationships. Everyone whocrosses your path willbenefitfrom this  shift of focus. It isinevitable.

当我们将注意力转移到重视与他人的连接上时，我们的生活质量和人际关系就会得到改善。每个遇到我们的人都将从这种焦点转移中受益。这是必然的。

Be aware today of the times when your  priority is to win or to be right rather than to connect, then shift your  focus to connection with others.

今天，每当意识到我们将胜利或正确优先于连接时，请把注意力转移到与他人的连接上来。