It is a lesson straight from a well-known psychology professor and a lot of enlightenment was gained on how to parent kids. Don’t always blame the kids for their misbehaviors, unless you find yourself purified with nothing wrong. The emerging of parenting anxiety comes with reasons. Parents worry too much substantial problems- namely kids’ nutrition, security, education, career, income, and even marriage, instead of concerns on their interests, love, friendship, contribution, virtues, liberty, and bigotry. These anxieties sometimes are shown in the form of obsessive-compulsive disorder, sadness, nervousness, and obsessive preoccupation.
The examples can be found in many situations around the country. We can see from them that Chinese parents have their concerns on their kids’ subsistence, which showcase that they are not confident about their children. They don’t have very high requirements on their children, whereas they should focus more on higher level things which are more important for children to really grow up. What is worse is that parents are increasingly worried about their children, which can be indicated by the increasing psychologic consultation with doctors.
It is human nature for mothers to show their love to their children. But those love are upheld in several ways. The first is the complaint. Both the parents and kids are suffered from the complaints. Second is the comparison. Parents always automatically get seats on their children in respect of academic grades, jobs, marriage, and come up with more anxiety. These parents often stand accused of using their parental rights to sustain the kids’ liberty to grow on their own.
That means the protection is undue. Given children grow up, this effect has less clout. The reality is that too many concerns amount to the failure of the kids and conversely, would arouse more concerns, as the professor spells out. Parents fail to cease their anxieties would transfer their anxieties to the kids and descendants of their kids which will devastate the whole family. This situation works especially on parents with careers like teachers, accountants, doctors, quality scrutinizers, policers and civil servants.
Such swampiness matters. Parents are responsible for limiting their pouring of emotions, which are excluded from physical diseases. Their anxieties offset all efforts to help their children grow up. Changes are needed. Parents should allow children to show their different personalities and interests. Kids should be respected and not given too much stress. Parents should self-meditate on whether they are wrong when they feel conflicted. Respects should be given to their kids with their different stage of growth in mind. There are no worries without a reason to worry, therefore, parents can always ask themselves a question: I am worried because of……. It is more important to emphasize the necessity to do instead of endless internal conflicts.
I found the lesson for parents should be widely absorbed within the country to prevent more tragedies from happening. We are not born to be good parents. We learn to.
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