Here I am, lost in the sea of endless sand.
Neither do I know where I am, nor do I know who I am. The only thing I know is that I’m on a journey. It is the sense of mission that is embedded in my bone makes me move on.
Standing on a dune(沙丘), I convince myself of my destination again --- a far and high mountain, whose top is giving out a shining light that is brighter than sunshine. Sometimes, a single meteor will come out of that mountain, flowing across the sky, and disappear at the edge of horizon. It is so beautiful that every time it appears, I’ll stay awhile and stare at it. At that time, a sense of belonging will swell in my heart. To find out the reason of that strange feeling, I’ve got another reason to head for my destination.
Harsh and long as the journey is, I never think of giving up. Most of the time, the wind will roar around my ears and blow sand which make it hard to open my eyes. And I just tighten(widen/brighten) my scarf and forge ahead.
On my way, I get sidetracked by gravestones from time to time. The corrosions and rusts on the monument show that those pioneers have been dead for many years. As long as I see a grave, I stop and stand in silent tribute, then I sing a dirge to offer them my bless.
‘ Stat sua cuique dies, stat sua cuique dies ①
Meal is me to feran②
A meto maneat nostros, A meto maneat nostros③
C’est pour cela que je suis née④
Kono michi ya, Yuku hito nashi ni⑤
Kono michi ya, Aki no kure
C’est pour cela que je suis née
Ne me plaignez pas⑥
C’est pour cela que je suis née’
(注:①拉丁语, 引用维吉尔的《埃涅伊德》中诗句 ②古英语, 引用《贝奥武甫》中诗句 ③ 拉丁语,引用《埃涅伊德》中诗句 ④法语 引用圣女贞德原话 ⑤日语, 引自松尾芭蕉的俳句“秋日暮分道无人” ⑥法语 引用圣女贞德原话)
I don’t know why I sing, for I just follow the guidance of my soul.
After a long time, I finally made it to the foot of the mountain. Having overcome the challenge of desert, now I have to face the challenge of the mountain. My scarf swayed in the wind and it seems to show its agreeing on my readiness. I start to climb.
Unlike the climate in the desert, the higher I reach, the colder it turns to be. The tough wind and fierce snow give me a sign of approaching the top, and the stiffness(僵硬) on my body suggests that I have to hurry up.
Unfortunately, I’m frozen and fall down the snow halfway. Being buried under the snowstorm, I’m filled with despair and disappointment with my consciousness fading away.
Suddenly, a sense of warmth wraps around my body as my consciousness comes back to me. I open my eyes, surprisingly found that I’m floating with the help of little strange illuminant (发光体). I can recognize what it is through its outline: they’re the souls of pioneers. I’m really happy and grateful to be saved and protected by those pioneers. Seeing the heavy clouds drawing nearer and nearer, I know that I’m in the right direction.
The world changes as soon as I , or we, break through the clouds. Bathed in the warm but gentle sunshine, I breathe in the crisp and brisk air and enjoy the magnificent sight of the mountain top. Then, the souls put me down slowly on the top. Facing the shining light which I’ve been chasing all the way, I step over it with expectation and nervousness.
The atmosphere inside the light is charged with warmth and brightness. Gradually, my body begin to disappear. But instead of feeling panic, I feel a sense of being home and satisfaction. After a while, with only my soul left, I change into something shining, like a meteor. I suddenly realize why I felt that sense of belonging when I saw the meteors, for they’re from the wayfarer like me. I give out a knowing smile in my heart and fly out of the mountain, rushing towards the edge of the sky.
On my way, I see a few wayfarers walking towards the mountain, so I let out a brighter shine, in order to give them guidance. Their firm steps compose a splendid symphony of journey, ego(自我),belief, pilgrimage, purification and so on. Just like the lyrics of that ancient and profound song:
C’est pour cela que je suis née (生为此行)
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