小伙伴们大家好，欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”！上周的国际赛场精彩看点层出不穷，各支国家队开始秣马厉兵。英格兰在温布利球场遭西班牙逆转，意大利与波兰握手言和，而巴西、阿根廷、德国和法国等球队则纷纷战胜了对手。好了，话不多说，快来和摩羯君一起看看歪果仁们精彩的吐槽吧！
领先被翻盘，英格兰1-2西班牙
Godeman88(苏格兰球迷)：电视竟然不直播这场比赛，而去播什么情景喜剧？我就纳闷了，看英格兰比赛明明比看喜剧好笑多了啊！(WTF why the fuck terrestrial tv plays sitcoms instead of this match, absolute no fucking sitcoms is funnier than England matches.)
(图)：“闭上眼睛，你会得到世界上最好的礼物哦~”“英格兰队勇夺世界杯？”
Neverdoug(谢菲联球迷)：看到英格兰队输球了，我才意识到这欧洲国家联赛不是什么鸡肋友谊赛，而是正儿八经的重大赛事啊！(We lost so we know that the UEFA Nations League league is as important as any other competition or just a tinpot friendlies no one gives a shit about anyway.)
Pressurevoid(英格兰球迷)：我们输了球，那总得找个背锅的替罪羊吧？既然斯特林没上场，那你看让亨德森背锅怎样？(As we lose this game, we will need a scapegoat. Sterling isn´t playing, so it´s gonna be Henderson.?)
QuillRat(曼联球迷)：西班牙队不接触球员就把球抢去了，这简直就是作弊！(Getting the ball and not touching the player is not a fucking cheat for spainish.)
Ox_The_Fox(利物浦球迷)：阿里在场上都完全隐身了，为什么赛后评分还是能找到他？(why Alli still has a rating, he's been shockingly invisible.)
andpaper_zoe(英格兰球迷)：我们不会在这国家联赛里降级吧…(We're gonna get relegated.)
wrdb2007(曼联球迷)：世界杯他们喷德赫亚的时候我是不信的，直到我看见拉什福德都能进他球门…(I could hardly figure out why they criticized De Gea in World Cup until even Rashford scored a goal against him.)
重在练兵，阿根廷3-0危地马拉
astral_cowboy(巴萨球迷)：现在看到帕文和梅萨，还是会感到菊花一禁…(Im still clenching my butt when seeing Pavon and Meza.)
Zapla_24(阿根廷球迷)：可怜的迪巴拉，在尤文成了替补，来到国家队还是替补…(Juventus benching Dybala, now Argentina. Feel so sorry for him)
菲尔米诺内马尔进球，巴西2-0美国
shr3dthegnarbrah(未知主队球迷)：如果观众席不要在每次巴西队持球时都发出性高潮一样的叫声，那这场球还是不错的。(If the crowd could avoid voicing their orgasms every time a Brazilian cuts the ball back, that'd be great.)
Lisanne3112(未知主队球迷)：自从南非世界杯后，我就基本听不见观众席上到底会有什么声音了…(tbh after the south africa WC i dont even notice loud crowds anymore.)
tree-hugger(明尼苏达球迷)：美国队这防守，跟他们在2018年世界杯的表现差不多吧！(Our defense is just the same as what we did in world cup this year.)
Mad_Piplup242(利物浦球迷)：美国不是没去世界杯吗？(usa did not participant WC 2018.)
tree-hugger(明尼苏达球迷)：所以根本没有防守啊！(So they showed no defense.)
握手言和，意大利1-1波兰
RecentCode(那不勒斯球迷)：如果解说员每提一句“意大利没进世界杯”我就喝一杯酒的话，那现在我就得酒精中毒昏迷了！(If I took a shot for every time this commentator mentioned we missed out on the last World Cup I'd be in an alcohol-induced coma by now.)
Historynerd88(意大利球迷)：这场能跟世界杯级别的球队踢平，说明我们还是有些实力的！(We are not so bad since we made a draw with a world cup team!)
吉鲁姆巴佩进球，法国2-1荷兰
Dhruvchouhan(未知主队球迷)：看到门迪都能给吉鲁助攻，我终于相信门迪很牛逼了…(I believe Mendy is good as he can even make Giroud score...)
Rompskee(阿森纳球迷)：像吉祖这么帅的小哥哥，怎么会有球荒呢！(Gizou is too beautiful to have long scoring droughts.)
Sneeuwjacht(荷兰球迷)：要不科曼自己上场吧，肯定比布林德防守要好的…(Should we just sub Koeman in? Surely he's still better than Blind.)
Quasar_Columba(维特斯球迷)：作为一支踢不进欧洲杯和世界杯的球队，咱踢世界冠军这比分也不是太傻逼吧？(For a team who didn’t qualify for euros and the World Cup, we’re not doing too shabby against the winner.)
逆转取胜，德国2-1秘鲁
Cee-Looow(未知主队球迷)：德国队最大的问题，就是没人能射啊！(problem with Germany, nobody just shoots.)
S3baman(未知主队球迷)：既然前锋都那么不给力，那不如让特尔施特根去射几脚好了…(Ter Stegen should have taken the shot there, it's clear the other forwards won't be able to score.)
(图)：这妹子好像有点眼熟...
好了，亲爱的小伙伴们，本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了，让我们下期不见不散！
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