Day 138 ：21 Days of Effective Co

Day 8: Practice Saying “Thank You”

1. Build on a bare “Thank you:” A simple “Thank you” is always appreciated, but there’s a quick trick that will ensure you leave a lasting impression.

“Thank you for taking the time to make those notes for me.”

2. Offer to repay their kindness: If someone has gone out of their way to help you, offering them assistance in return

3. Never reject a compliment: I think most of us are occasionally guilty of brushing off a compliment or piece of praise.

Day 9: Stop Trying To Score Points

Looking back, I’m embarrassed for my younger self. He was so busy trying to convince everyone of his so-called intelligence that he missed out on the chance to build some good friendships and romantic relationships.

Bear in mind that point scoring rarely works anyway.

Day 10: Ask Questions That Get Results

1. Build up gently to high-pressure questions.

2. Decide whether an open or closed question is better.

3. Use a four-part structure when helping someone deal with a problem.

A. Ask someone questions that will help them hone in on their issue.

B. Obtain further information.

C. Ask them questions that establish their ideal outcome.

D. Ask them questions that help them pin down their next steps.

4. Don’t lead people to a particular answer.

5. Don’t force people to pick between two or three options. This approach assumes that you have already thought of all the available options. There might be viable alternatives, but you will never know if you ask questions in this format.

6. Prepare for the unexpected. Never assume that you know in advance what someone is going to say. Give them your full attention and be ready with a few phrases you can use if they share some shocking information. “Thank you for telling me – I need time to process that,” “This is a surprise, can I have a minute to take that on board?”

Day 11: Refine Your Voice & Speaking Style 

It’s not just what you say but how you say it. Speaking at a suitable volume and pitch will make other people more inclined to listen to you. We all know people who aren’t especially brilliant or interesting but still know how to engage a crowd.

1. Lower the pitch of your voice.

2.Use vocal exercises to develop a smoother voice.

3. Cut out any verbal tics.

4. Stick to short sentences and choose short words where possible.

6. Master the art of the pause.

7. Vary the pitch and tone of your voice.

Day 13: Uncover Your Communication Background

1. Did my parents have solid social skills? It’s simple – if your parents knew how to create healthy relationships with others and sustain a good conversation, you probably picked up these skills. If not, you probably find social situations a bit confusing. This can cause you to doubt yourself and to feel shy around new people.

2. Did my parents have friends? While it’s natural to prefer a larger or smaller social circle, it isn’t normal to be completely friendless. If your parents never showed interest in other people, you may be confused by the rules of normal social interaction and might not know how to respond when other people show an interest in you.

3. Did my parents pass on any “rules” when it came to communication or relationships? As the case of Jenny proves, our parents’ communication rulebook can come to be a defining factor in our social lives. These “rules” don’t even have to be stated upfront.

4. Did my parents show me how to make up after an argument, or settle a difference of opinion? Disagreements are inevitable in any close relationship. If we don’t understand how to understand someone’s point of view, or how to reconcile following a fight, any kind of dispute will feel frightening.

5. Did my parents encourage me to express myself? I’ve worked with a lot of clients who don’t even have the vocabulary