“Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”
The provenance of the quote above has been attributed to several notable people, but in all reality, who said it first doesn’t really matter. What matters is how relatable it is. At first glance, it’s one of those eye-roll statements that sounds like a cliché. On closer examination, though, you can see the truth in it.
If we were to be even more honest, we would point out that it’s how much you care about them that matters. This personalized twist to a common phrase helps put it into perspective.
Have you ever sat through a one-sided conversation? At some point during the conversation, you probably thought this person doesn’t give a hoot about me or what I think. You tried as best you could to break in and make yourself heard. But it didn’t matter what topic you raised they immediately brought up their story related to it, completely disinterested in listening to what you had to say or asking you questions about your experience. The entire conversation revolves around them because they are the center of their universe and nothing else matters.
When you think of the last conversation you had like this, can you also remember how you felt walking away? Likely that the only thing that person cared about was showing off how much they knew or how self-involved they are.
Think of an opposite situation, where you’ve had a fantastic conversation and walked away thinking wow, what a great person! It’s likely that your conversation was an intricate dance, it was give and it was take. You danced through a range of subjects and you had as much time to share your opinions and experiences as you did to listen to theirs. That’s when you walk away thinking that person cares.
Obviously, that’s different from seeking a specific person out to request advice or guidance, you’d expect that person to lead the conversation. It’s what you asked for and they’re showing they care by giving you their time and offering you the guidance you requested. That’s not what we’re talking about.
We don’t have a lot of time these days. Everyone is juggling work and home, just hoping to get through each day as it comes. However, we shortchange people when we don’t offer them an active ear to hear their problems. When you’re sitting across from someone in conversation or at the other end of a phone (or video chat), the other person deserves your full attention. If you’re distracted or disinterested, trying to multitask, the message you’re sending is that you don’t care. That might not be true, you might care, but you aren’t showing your compassion.
This brings it all back to the original statement. “Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”
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