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正面管教:Positive discipline: making

正面管教:Positive discipline: making

作者: 育儿知识搬运工 | 来源:发表于2018-12-31 15:29 被阅读7次

    为方便家长们学到最原汁原味的正面管教知识,我从国外找来一些正面管教资料。以下为正面管教英文站的译文(注:本人英文水平有限,以下内容是谷歌在线直译得来的,欢迎英语水平好的家长校正,我只是知识里的搬运工),更多详细的内容可以参考早期学习正面管教网友分享的正面管教揭密内容。

    世界上没有完美的人,可是每个人都在这样要求自己和别人—尤其是孩子。

    There are no perfect people in the world, but everyone is demanding that they and others - especially children.

    这一点和我们从小得到的教育完全不同,我们从小就被教导不能犯错误,犯错误会让人感到羞愧。

    This is totally different from the education we received from childhood. We are taught from childhood that we can't make mistakes, and that making mistakes can make people feel ashamed.

    其实仔细回想一下童年的经历,你就会发现,当小时候的你犯了错误被大人训斥的时候 ,你学到了什么?

    In fact, if you look back carefully on your childhood experience, you will find out what you learned when you made mistakes and were scolded by adults.

    你或许认为自己的无能或者自己是个坏孩子;

    You may think that you are incompetent or that you are a bad child.

    你或许暗暗下定决心为了不再犯错误,以后绝对不再冒风险;

    You may secretly make up your mind that in order to stop making mistakes, you will never take risks in the future.

    你或许大人训斥什么你早就听不见,心思不知道跑到哪里去了;

    Maybe you can't hear what your adults say, and you don't know where you're going.

    你或许决心要好好讨好父母,以早点结束父母的训斥;

    You may be determined to please your parents and end their reprimands early.

    你或许决定掩盖自己的错误,并想尽办法避免被抓到。

    You may decide to cover up your mistakes and try to avoid being caught.

    你看,小时候的你并没有从父母的训斥中受到鼓舞、激励,反而学到的都是负面讯息。

    You see, when you were a child, you were not inspired and encouraged by your parents'reprimands. Instead, you learned negative messages.

    简·尼尔森最有名的一句话是:我们究竟从哪里得来的结论,想要孩子变得更好,先要让孩子感觉更糟?

    Jane Nelson's most famous sentence is: Where on earth did we come to the conclusion that if we want our children to be better, we have to make them feel worse first?

    当我们自己都不能从训斥、惩罚中受到鼓舞的时候,我们又如何要求孩子从训斥中感受到令人鼓舞的进步?

    How can we ask our children to feel inspiring progress from the rebuke when we can't be inspired by the rebuke and punishment ourselves?

    而且往往孩子们的很多错误是因为父母没有花时间好好训练并鼓励他们。

    And often children make many mistakes because parents don't take the time to train and encourage them.

    那如何去矫正错误呢?书中给出了矫正错误的三个R,这是树立用于不完美榜样的一个绝佳方法。

    So how to correct the mistake? The book gives three R's for correcting errors, which is an excellent way to set an imperfect example.

    矫正错误的三个R:

    Three R:

    1、承认(recognize)—“啊哈!我犯了一个错误”

    1. Recognition -- "Aha! I made a mistake.

    2、和好(reconcile)—“我向你道歉”

    2. Reconcile -- "I apologize to you"

    3、解决(resolve)—“让我们一起来解决问题”

    3. Resolution -- "Let's solve the problem together"

    当我们把犯错误看作一个学习机会而不是什么坏事时,你就会发现为自己的错误承担责任就变得容易多了。而且当大人诚恳地道歉的时候,孩子们几乎总是会说“没关系,妈妈(爸爸)”,孩子们总是比我们想象中更爱更愿意原谅父母的过错。

    When we think of making mistakes as a learning opportunity rather than a bad thing, you will find it much easier to take responsibility for your mistakes. And when adults sincerely apologize, children almost always say, "It's OK, Mom (Dad)." Children are always more willing to forgive their parents'mistakes than we think.

    把犯错误当作一个好的学习机会,关注于解决问题,孩子会在这个过程中,学会承担责任,学会接受自己的不完美,学会解决问题的能力,这才是我们为人父母想要的养育结果。

    Taking mistakes as a good learning opportunity and focusing on solving problems, children will learn to take responsibility, accept their own imperfections, and learn to solve problems in the process. This is the result of our parenting for our parents.

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