I stopped for a moment in my lonely way under the starlight. And I saw spread before me the darkened earth surrounding with her arms countless furnished with cradles and beds, mothers' hearts and evening light. This is the words by Tagore, the worldwide well-known author in India.
When I simmer down, wanna writing out what I went through the whole day, the epic hit my mind suddenly. At such a moment, I felt a little bit homeless and lonely. Home, the warmest harbor for most of folks, especially the ones fighting for life, striving for visions outside, far away from homeland, away families.
Though the living environment around is awful, untidy and not-satisfied, I've been staying here for 3 years, completely. Need to pay for rent per month, but I always feel it's like a home for me. I never have the idea I would has to leave this place some time until receiving the formal notification, this whole area need to destroy for rebuilding business zone.
In order to move away earlier before the deadline, I went for finding a new place instead. The area I considering is close to where my family stay. Searching something without any direction, under the burning sun, it's really a tough and painful experience, every time doing that. This took me a long day, along with my senior friend and here sister. First one, it smells not good because of its recent decorating. Second one, better smell, but same top obstacle, no balcony. Third one, there's un-like thing about second-hand furniture, no good ventilate neither. The fourth, fifth one, close to our expectation, the size, the lighting, the high floor, just still no concluding the deal yet. This time, must think twice for more.
When it comes to moving home, finding another place for staying, it makes me feel homeless, lonely, helpless, deeply. An old girl, she is without stable dwelling, without family around, struggling for living in a strange city for 6 years. Yet, she does not have enough power and ability to getting the stuff she like, does not be able to get a home permanently.
While tough journey will make me better and stronger. All I need to do is hoping for good.
--写于白石洲。
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