依然爱丽丝

早上好，能来到这里是我的荣幸

Good morning, it’s an honor to be here.

诗人Elizabeth Bishop曾经写道： “ ‘失去’的艺术并不难掌握

The poet Elizabeth Bishop once wrote: “The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

很多事情看上去都终将会失去，

So many things seems filled with the intent to be lost,

这种‘失去’并不意味着灾难。”

and their lost is no disaster.”

我不是个诗人，我只是以一个患有早期阿兹海默症的普通人

I am not a poet, I’m a person living with early on-set Alzheimer’s

正因为如此，我发现我每一天都在学习‘失去’的艺术

And as that person, I find myself learning the art of losing every day

失去了我的理智和方向，失去了物件，失去了睡眠

Losing my bearings, losing objects, losing sleep

最重要的是失去了记忆

But mostly, losing memories.

我一生都在积累各种各样的记忆，某种意义上成为了我最珍贵的财产

All my life, I have accumulated memories, they have become in a way my most precious possessions.

我遇见我丈夫的那一天，我第一次拿到我写的教科书的时候

The night I met my husband, the first time I held my textbook in my hands.

我有了孩子，交了朋友，环游世界

having children, mak ing friends, travelling the world.

都是我生活中的积累，都是我工作如此努力的原因

everything I've accumulated in life, everything I've worked so hard for.

现在一切都被剥夺了

Now all that is being ripped away

你们可以想象？或者你们也曾经历过？

As you can imagine, or as you know,

这简直是地狱

This is hell。

但情况还在变糟

But it gets worse

我们早已不是原来的自己，谁还能认真地对待我们呢？

Who can take us seriously when we are so far from who we once were?

我们怪异的举止和笨拙的话语改变了他人对我们的看法

Our strange behavior and fumbled sentences change other’s perception of us,

也改变了我们对自己的看法

and our perception of ourselves

我们变得可笑，失去能力又滑稽

We become ridiculous, incapable, comic’

都不是我们该有的样子，只是我们的疾病让我们变成了这样

But this is not who we are, this is our disease.

和其它疾病一样

And like any disease,

某种原因导致患了这种病，同样会有一剂良方将其治愈

It has a cause, it has a progression, and it could have a cure.

我最大的愿望是，我的孩子、我们的孩子、我们的下一代不用面对我们正在面对的一切。

My greatest wish is that my children, our children, the nextgeneration do not have to face what I am facing.

但至少到目前为止我还活着

But for the time being, I’m still alive.

我知道我还活着

I know I’m alive.

我有深爱的人，有我想完成的事情，我责怪自己不能记清事情，

I have people I loved dearly, I have things I wanna do with my life. I rail against myself for not being able to remember things

但是每一天我都经历着纯粹的幸福和愉悦

But I still have moments in the day of pure happiness and joy.

请不要认为我在经受痛苦，我并不痛苦， 我在努力挣扎

And please, do not think I am suffering, I am not suffering, I am struggling.

挣扎着融入挣扎着，继续和过去的我保持联系

Struggling to be part of things, to stay connected to who I once was.

我告诉自己，活在当下

So living the moment, I tell myself.

这真的是我现在唯一能做到的，活在当下，不要被挤垮！

It’s really all I can do, live the moment, and not beat myself up too much……..

不要为了去掌握‘失去’的艺术而把自己挤垮

And not beat myself up too much for mastering the art of losing.

尽管如此，我会试着记住今天在这里的讲话

One thing I’ll try to hold onto though, is the memory of speaking here today.

这段记忆会消失，我知道它会消失，也许明天就会消失

It will go , I know it will, It may be gone by tomorrow,

但是今天在这里的讲话对我意义重大

But it means so much to be talking here today

因为以前那个雄心勃勃的我总是被交流的魅力所折服

Like my old ambitious self who was so fascinated by communication

感谢大家给我提供这次机会，这对我来说意义重大，谢谢大家

Thank you for this opportunity, it means the world to me. Thank you.

爱丽丝生病后の演讲