A college professor colleague of mine shared a similar experience of
automatic rejection of unpleasant ideas. While reading a book that discussed effective teaching, she explained, she encountered a chapter that examined a particular classroom practice and showed how it was not
only ineffective but actually harmful to learning. As soon as the approach
was identified, she recognized it as one of her own favorite approaches. As she read further into the author’s criticism of it (she recounted to me later), she began to feel defensive and even angry. “No,” she mumbled to herself, “the author is wrong. The approach is a good one. He just doesn’t understand.” The professor had nothing rational to base these reactions on—simply the impulse to save face. No one else was around. She was alone with the author’s words. Yet defending the approach, and saving herself the embarrassment of admitting she didn’t know as much as she thought she did, became more important than knowing the truth.Eventually the professor realized what she was doing and forced herself to consider the author’s arguments fairly—but doing so, she confided to me, took effort.
The temptation to automatically reject challenges to your ideas can be
powerful. A good way to lessen that temptation is to put some emotional
distance between your ideas and your ego. Think of them as possessions
that you can keep or discard rather than as extensions of your self. This
will make you less defensive about them.
我的一个大学同事教授分享了一个关于自动反对的不愉快的主意的相似经历。当读一本讨论有效教学的书时，她解释道，她遇到一个章节检测了一个特殊教室练习并且展示了它不仅是低效的而且对学习着实有害。这方法一经识别，她就认识到那是它自己喜欢的方法之一。当她读到更多这个作者关于此的批评（她后来和我讲）。她开始感觉防备感甚至愤怒。“不。”她对自己嘀嘀咕咕，“作者是错的。这个方法是好的。他只是不懂。”这个教授没有任何基于这个反应的理性——简单的冲动维护面子。周围没有其他人。她身边只有作者的话。尽管保护这个方法，并且从承认她不像她想的做的知道那么多这种尴尬中拯救自己变得比知道真相更重要。最后这个教授意识到她做了什么并且强迫自己公正的考虑这个作者的观点——但是这么做了，她向我承认，这样做需要努力。
自动反对你观点的挑战的诱惑可能是强有力的。一个减少诱惑的方法是在你的观点和尊严之间放置一些感情距离。把它们看作是你可以保留或丢弃的财产，而不是你自我的延伸。这将让你对这些减少戒心。
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