Everyone said the path to happiness was success, what truly makes people happy?The data showed that chasing happiness can make people unhappy.
According to the research, what predicts the despair is not a lack of happiness. It's a lack of something else, a lack of having meaning in life. Many psychologists define happiness as a state of comfort and ease, feeling good in the moment. Meaning is deeper. Meaning comes from belonging to and serving something beyond yourself and from developing the best within you.
How can we each live more meaningfully?
There are four pillars of a meaningful life. We can each create lives of meaning, but building some or all of these pillars in our lives.
1. The first pillar is belonging.
Belonging comes from being in relationships where you're valued for who you are intrinsically and where you value others as well. But some groups and relationships deliver a cheap form of belonging, you're valued for what you believe, not for who you are.
True belonging springs from love. It lives in moments among individuals, and it's a choice- you can choose to cultivate belonging with others.
For many people, belonging is the most essential source of meaning, those bonds to family and friends.
2. The second pillar is purpose.
Purpose is less about whatyou want than about what you give. The key to purpose is using your strengths to serve others. For many of us, this happens through work. That's how we contribute and feel needed.
Without something worthwhile to do, people flounder. We don't have to find purpose at work, but purpose gives you something to live for, some “why" that drives you forward.
3. The third pillar is transcendence.
Transcendence states are those rare moments when you're lifted above the hustle and bustle of daily life, your sense of self fades away, and you feel connected to a higher reality.
These transcendence experiences can change you.
4. The fourth pillar is storytelling.
The story you tell yourself about yourself. Creating a narrative from the events of your life brings clarity. It helps you understand how you became you. But we don't always realize that we're the authors of our stories and can change the way we're telling them.
Your life isn't just a list of events you can edit, interpret and retell your story, even as you're constrained by the facts.
As each day goes by, we're constantly creating our lives, adding to our story.
Happiness comes and goes. But when life is really good, and when things are really bad, having meaning gives you something to hold on to.
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