【洋葱的独白】
翻译/首夏
我不是有意让你哭泣,
我没有任何意图,
但这样还是没能阻止你,
一层一层地,剥去我的肉。
当桌子上充满了外壳, 撕开的面纱,
你的追求留下的碎片,
眼泪迷蒙了你的眼睛。
迷茫的可怜人类:你探寻我的心
事物没有内心。而在我的每一层皮内,
存在另一种皮:我是纯粹的洋葱。
外部和内部,表面和秘密本质,
有着纯粹结合。
你看看你,一边切一边哭。白痴。
这是你穿行人生之旅的方式,
你的心思是一把探求的刀,
被你对真理抱的幻想牵着走。
在持久的结合里,在事物中,
你挥砍我一层一层的皮,
难道毁灭和眼泪,
是你唯一进步的迹象?
够了够了。
你不应该悲伤,
通过面纱,世界才能被瞥见。
除此之外,还能怎样看到它?
你将如何除去蒙在你眼上的面纱,
这种面纱。
想要抓住事物内心的你,
渴望了解意义于何处存在的你,
闻到你手里拿着的:洋葱汁。
划破的皮,
我那些疼痛着的碎片。
而你才是破碎的。
无论你想要热爱什么,寻找着什么,
你已经消减了自己:你不是真实的自己。
你的灵魂一刻不停地被刀刃切断,
在新鲜的欲望里,
地板上散落着被遗弃的皮,
在你最隐秘的一层里,有什么?那是本质。
没有核心。可怜的傻瓜,你的心是被分割的
在迷宫般的心房,血液和热爱中,不知所措。
这是颗有一天会致命的心。
原诗
Monologue for an Onion
by Sue Kwock Kim
Issue no. 148 (Fall 1998)
I do not mean to make you cry.
I mean nothing, but this has not stopped you
From peeling away my flesh, layer by layer.
The tears clouding your eyes as the table fills
With husks, ripped veils, all the debris of pursuit.
Poor deluded human: you seek my heart.
Things have no hearts. Within each skin of mine
Lies another skin: I am pure onion—pure union
Of outside and in, surface and secret core.
Look at you, cutting and weeping. Idiot.
Is this the way you move through life, your mind
A questing knife, driven by your fantasy of truth.
Of lasting union—slashing away skin after skin
From things, ruin and tears your only signs
Of progress? Enough is enough.
You must not grieve that the world is glimpsed
Through veils. How else should it be seen?
How will you strip away the veil of the eye, the veil
That you are, you who want to grasp the heart
Of things, who long to know where meaning
Lies. Smell what you hold in your hands: onion juice.
Gashed peels, my stinging shreds. You are the one
In pieces. Whatever you meant to love, in meaning to
You changed yourself: you are not who you are.
Your soul severed moment to moment by a blade
Of fresh desire, the floor strewn with abandoned skins,
And at your inmost circle, what? A core that is
Not one. Poor fool, you are divided at the heart,
Lost in its maze of chambers, blood, and love,
A heart that will one day beat you to death.
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