1. regular check-in with yourself and acknowledge your emotions.

2. 在讲non-violent communication 的时候，有一个例子类似于“ I agree that you are more experienced in this field, and I also want to be included in ...” 这样的话来表达自己的诉求。speaker并没有特别强调，但是我自己注意到中间的连词是and，而不是我自己在这种情况下习惯用的but。看起来是个细枝末节，但对我是个挺不一样的mindset转变。用and仿佛就更好的承认了双方的诉求是并存的，而不是对立的。

3. 区别一段relationship（professional and personal)是否健康的一个indicator就是正面和负面feedback的相对比例，健康的关系里总是有着更多的正面反馈。这个当然没什么值得惊讶的。我觉得有启发的地方在于，我们可以做的并不是去避免给予负面反馈和表达自己的意见，而是平时就积极给予正面反馈，这样在你需要向对方提意见的时候，对方才会更愿意接受。

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New Neuroscience Reveals 4 Rituals That Will Make You Happy

1) The Most Important Question To Ask When You Feel Down

And you worry a lot too. Why? In the short term, worrying makes your brain feel a little better — at least you’re doing something about your problems.

But guilt, shame and worry are horrible long-term solutions. So what do neuroscientists say you should do? Ask yourself this question:

What am I grateful for?

I know, sometimes life lands a really mean punch in the gut and it feels like there’s nothing to be grateful for. Guess what?

Doesn’t matter. You don’t have to find anything. It’s the searching that counts.

And gratitude doesn’t just make your brain happy — it can also create a positive feedback loop in your relationships. So express that gratitude to the people you care about.

2) Label Negative Feelings

You feel awful. Okay, give that awfulness a name. Sad? Anxious? Angry?

Boom. It’s that simple. Sound stupid? Your noggin disagrees.

Suppressing emotions doesn’t work and can backfire on you.

But labeling, on the other hand, makes a big difference.

3) Make That Decision

Ever make a decision and then your brain finally feels at rest? That’s no random occurrence.

Brain science shows that making decisions reduces worry and anxiety — as well as helping you solve problems.

But deciding can be hard. I agree. So what kind of decisions should you make? Neuroscience has an answer…

Make a “good enough” decision. Don’t sweat making the absolute 100% best decision. We all know being a perfectionist can be stressful. And brain studies back this up.

Trying to be perfect overwhelms your brain with emotions and makes you feel out of control.

So when you make a decision, your brain feels you have control. And, as I’ve talked about before, a feeling of control reduces stress. But here’s what’s really fascinating: Deciding also boosts pleasure.

So what’s the lesson here? Next time you buy cocaine… whoops, wrong lesson. Point is, when you make a decision on a goal and then achieve it, you feel better than when good stuff just happens by chance.

And this answers the eternal mystery of why dragging your butt to the gym can be so hard.

If you go because you feel you have to or you should, well, it’s not really a voluntary decision. Your brain doesn’t get the pleasure boost. It just feels stressful. And that’s no way to build a good exercise habit.

4) Touch People

No, not indiscriminately; that can get you in a lot of trouble.

But we need to feel love and acceptance from others. When we don’t it’s painful. And I don’t mean “awkward” or “disappointing.” I mean actually painful.

Neuroscientists did a study where people played a ball-tossing video game. The other players tossed the ball to you and you tossed it back to them. Actually, there were no other players; that was all done by the computer program.

But the subjects were told the characters were controlled by real people. So what happened when the “other players” stopped playing nice and didn’t share the ball?

Subjects’ brains responded the same way as if they experienced physical pain. Rejection doesn’t just hurt like a broken heart; your brain feels it like a broken leg.

Relationships are very important to your brain’s feeling of happiness. Want to take that to the next level? Touch people.

Touching is incredibly powerful. We just don’t give it enough credit. It makes you more persuasive, increases team performance, improves your flirting… heck, it even boosts math skills.

Touching someone you love actually reduces pain. In fact, when studies were done on married couples, the stronger the marriage, the more powerful the effect.

So hug someone today. And do not accept little, quick hugs. No, no, no. Tell them your neuroscientist recommended long hugs.

Research shows getting five hugs a day for four weeks increases happiness big time.

Don’t have anyone to hug right now? No? (I’m sorry to hear that. I would give you a hug right now if I could.) But there’s an answer: neuroscience says you should go get a massage.

So spend time with other people and give some hugs. Sorry, texting is not enough.

When you put people in a stressful situation and then let them visit loved ones or talk to them on the phone, they felt better. What about when they just texted? Their bodies responded the same as if they had no support at all.

Okay, I don’t want to strain your brain with too much info. Let’s round it up and learn the quickest and easiest way to start that upward spiral of neuroscience-inspired happiness…

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Sum Up

Here’s what brain research says will make you happy:

Ask “What am I grateful for?”No answers? Doesn’t matter. Just searching helps.

Label those negative emotions. Give it a name and your brain isn’t so bothered by it.

Decide. Go for “good enough” instead of “best decision ever made on Earth.”

Hugs, hugs, hugs. Don’t text — touch.

So what’s the dead-simple way to start that upward spiral of happiness?

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Atomic Habits

1. make it obvious

2. make it attractive

3. make it easy

4. make it satisfying

Implementation Intentions

I will [BEHAVIOR] at [TIME] and [LOCATION]